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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 14, 2012 19:54:10 GMT -5
Michael likely should have went to the therapist to talk about this, but however nice the man was, he knew Kane much better and so had chosen him instead. "I love Dare," he was saying. "He means everything to me, I just can't imagine being without him. I haven't seen him in days. I want to, you know? I want to see him and be with him, but I know that we'll just end up fighting again. I'm just scared that we're too broken to fix this time." Kane was there for the beginning, would he be there for the end, as well?
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 14, 2012 19:59:59 GMT -5
"You say you know you'll end up fighting," Kane pointed out, leaning back a bit in his chair. They'd claimed the comfortable seating area he'd set up away from his desk, one with a coffee table and teacups set out between them.
"What happens in these fights? Do you start out talking? How much does it escalate?" There were terrible rumors about Dare's temper, and Michael seemed to have gotten so submissive over the years that it was worrisome.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 14, 2012 20:11:06 GMT -5
"We start talking, and then I do something that makes him mad. I say I'm sorry, or I don't catch something I'm supposed to, or I don't connect whatever he's thinking to something that happened two years ago and we end up fighting," Michael said, his head in his hands. "It's not more than ten minutes normally. I can't figure out what to say or do or think or anything."
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 14, 2012 20:28:24 GMT -5
"So there's miscommunication," Kane said. "In the past, the two of you have had a lot of nonverbal communication when you're relating to each other. Is that still happening? Is he giving off any physical clues that he's unhappy? When arguments come out of nowhere, which is what this sounds like, there's normally something else going on."
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 14, 2012 20:38:23 GMT -5
"I don't know, Kane, it's hard to tell anymore. I used to be able to tell whenever anything was wrong. Now, even when I can tell he...we just can't talk about it. I mean, our current problems started with this whole D/s thing that Keith introduced him to. It was a horrible failure and we stopped so much as touching. Of course, now Dare's saying that that's not even the problem and brings up all the mistakes I've made and I can't deal with that. I've spent so long trying to believe that I'm worth...him, I guess, and now it's like everything I do or have done is wrong," Michael said.
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 14, 2012 20:43:27 GMT -5
"Tell me about this D/s thing," Kane said. "What happened? How did it fail, and why do you think it failed? Why do you think that's the problem?"
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 14, 2012 21:05:53 GMT -5
"He wanted to be the dominant partner. I mean, he didn't do anything out of the ordinary for the thing, we'd been dabbling in it for months really. I just...I don't know, something didn't work that night and from there things got awkward and strange," Michael said. "I don't know, he told me to, well, he told me to tell him what I wanted him to do. But I...that's what I have problems with. I know it's been years but that's still hard. But he says that's not the problem so what does it matter."
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 14, 2012 21:19:52 GMT -5
"If that's when your problems started, then something happened that night that maybe you've looked over. You said yourself that you have trouble telling when things go wrong, so think back. Start at the beginning of the evening, and tell me your side of things in as much detail as you can recall."
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 14, 2012 21:42:57 GMT -5
"We dressed up and went out with...Keith and Lyric, and Matthew and Rhys. Matthew's a friend of Keith's and Rhys is his boyfriend. Dare's good friends with Rhys now. But anyway, we were having fun. We all sat at a table and talked for a while, then Keith and Dare went off to dance. He came back and sat next to me and everything was fine. When he told me to tell him what I wanted he pulled away. Like I said, I can't say it, it's hard," Michael said. "It only went bad then." He didn't know what detail he could give that could change that. Everything had gone well that night.
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 14, 2012 21:50:42 GMT -5
"What I'm hearing is that Dare is acting irrationally," Kane said. "He's given you no clues what might be bothering him?"
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 14, 2012 22:17:56 GMT -5
"He says I give up on him. That I never figure anything out until it's too late, that I'm not assertive. And every damn thing I say is an excuse." Michael had been assertive in the past, he had been strong because he had to be strong or he would have crumbled. Once he had Dare to help him and trust he had been able to relax.
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 14, 2012 22:19:58 GMT -5
"What do you think?" Kane asked. "Do you think there's truth to any of that?"
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 14, 2012 22:29:46 GMT -5
"Well...yes. I mean, in a way. When we saw my father, I agreed to rejoin the death eaters, to save Dare. And when he was kidnapped by Ivy I didn't look for him because...she had come to me polyjuiced to look like him and looked at me with this look of pure hate. If It hadn't been for that, I would never have believed it, but that look..." Michael looked up at Kane, then shook his head and looked out across the room. "If I was going to give up on him I wouldn't have fought to get him healthy and to keep him!"
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 14, 2012 22:35:41 GMT -5
"It sounds like you're still carrying some baggage from that," Kane said.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 14, 2012 22:48:40 GMT -5
"If he would just talk to me about it instead of just telling me everything I'm doing wrong then maybe we could work through baggage I didn't even think we still had," Michael said. "I try to be supportive and I ask him what he needs from me and he doesn't even tell me." Just take care of yourself but how did that help?
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