A New Outlook (Astronomy Tower)

[Jory Addison]

Jory's eyes closed at that contact and he had to fight the urge to just curl himself around Jamie. It was gentle, simple contact, but it sent chills up his spine. He shifted closer and moved his legs, dropping one and tucking his other ankle beneath his knee. "You've never been with anyone?" he asked. Jamie hadn't come out, and as far as Jory knew he had never told anyone, was this a first? How much of a this was there?

[jamie]

Jamie cringed. "Once." He said softly. "There was this guy, another Slytherin. He was my best pal and had been since I had gotten to Hogwarts. Things got a little weirder my third year. He started sitting closer, accidentally bumping into me more and more, and then one day he kissed me. I was surprised at first, and kind of disgusted. But then that was all I could think about. It had felt right, good. For the next few days he avoided me, but it was hard since we were dorm mates." Jamie paused. "After a few weeks, my friend acted like it never happened, but I couldn't stop thinking about that one kiss. I wanted it again, I wanted more. One day when we were alone in the Common Room, he was standing against the wall. I was about to walk up to him and talk to him about it. I was so scared that he was over it and he would think I was some kind of freak. When I opened my mouth to talk to him, I found myself kissing him instead." Jamie couldn't believe he even remembered this night, he tried so hard to forget about it, but it still felt like yesterday.

"I expected him to pull away and act like it never happened again, but he didn't. Before I knew it, he was leading me up to our dorm. We were the only dorm mates in our dorm and it was pretty late at night. So when we had sex, we didn't have to worry about anyone else barging in. It felt so natural. It was a relief, you know? I thought after that,everything was going to be okay. Only when I went down to the Great Hall the next morning for breakfast, he was sitting there. It was like he had an entire audience around him. When I approached them, it got silent and everyone walked away, including him. I was so confused. I quickly found out that he told everyone I had forced him to have sex with me, like with a love potion or something. A month later he moved to a different school." Jamie hadn't intended on telling that entire story, but once he started it just came out.

"Other than that, the only other time I was with a guy was that night at the lake." Jamie said with a sheepish smile. He nudged Jory's arm as he spoke.

[Jory Addison]

Jory hadn't expected a whole story about it, but he wasn't going to complain about it. he reached for Jamie's hand to hold it lightly in both of his. "With a guy?" was the first response he had, though he dropped his eyes immediately. Still, he had to wonder why Jamie had specified that. That didn't mean he had to ask, though. "Sorry," he amended. "That was really low of him. I'm sorry that happened."

[jamie]

Jamie's eyes dropped. He wasn't proud of who he had become after that night. He tried to convince himself that he was different than what he really was, convince everyone else. After a while, everyone had forgotten what had happened, but he still knew. He walked through the years like a robot, everything was emotionless and meaningless. "Yeah, well, it's done with and over, right?" Jamie said with a hopeful smile. He wanted to change the subject and talk about something else, but his mind was blank.

[Jory Addison]

Jory managed a small smile back, but his mind kept going back to that distinction. With a guy. He didn't want another surprise like he had found with Quinn being with Lyric. "You said with a guy," he said slowly, dropping his eyes to their hands. He felt bad asking, but he had to know. "Do you like girls, too?" he asked softly. He wanted to know before he found out some other way if it was true.

[jamie]

Jamie sighed, this wasn't much better, but he supposed it was only fair. "No." He said at first, but after a moment added: "I mean, I've been with girls." He didn't bother saying how many, not that he himself really knew anyways. "Because after that night, I started thinking that I could change it, you know, how I felt and everything. I felt like I needed to prove everyone wrong, including myself. The only way I could think of doing that was being with girls. And then eventually...it was just a habit." It was a poor way of phrasing it, but it was the best he could do. Jamie was ashamed, but he still managed to bring his eyes to Jory's. "It was meaningless. It-It's not like that now, I swear." He said, hoping Jory would...what? Forgive him? Accept it? He really didn't want to ruin what he had with Jory before it began.

[Jory Addison]

Jory looked up at Jamie again and caught his eyes, then he gave a small smile and moved his arms, pulling Jamie's arm around him and resting Jamie's hand on his side. "It's okay, thank you for telling me, though. It'd suck to find out later." On impulse, he tilted his head and kissed Jamie, a quick, light thank you for being so open, to tell Jamie he didn't have to hide anything from him.

[jamie]

Jamie welcomed the kiss, but it was quick. His face returned to its natural color and his lips instantly curved into a grin. He moved even closer, eliminating the few inches on the windowsill between them. Jamie leaned in, kissing Jory, only letting the kiss linger a little longer this time. When he pulled away, it was only a couple of inches. "You're welcome." He murmured, grinning foolishly.

[Jory Addison]

The fingers of one hand played against Jamie's at his side, as a grin of his own spread across Jory's lips. His leg swung gently beneath the short lip of the windowsill. He reached for Jamie's other hand to pull it around to meet with the other. It was great being held, he couldn't get enough of it when he had visited Eros, and he didn't see any reason not to ask for it from Jamie. He couldn't think of anything else to add just then.

[jamie]

Jamie loved the feeling of holding someone in his arms, especially when it was Jory. He couldn't imagine a more perfect moment than when he looked into Jory's eyes at that moment. His won blue eyes sparkled with happiness. He felt so alive, so free. He could've leaned in for another kiss, but instead studied Jory for a moment. "What are you thinking about?" He asked lightly.

[Jory Addison]

Jory shrugged and rested his hands lightly on Jamie's. "I like this," he said. He wanted to stay like this as long as possible. Did they really have to go back to their dorms? "Why'd you come up here?" Why had Jamie come to the Astronomy Tower? It didn't seem like a place people just came of their own free will very much.

[jamie]

Jamie had to think hard, something he was trying to avoid doing at the moment, in order to remember what had brought him to the Astronomy Tower. "I w as walking through a hall at the bottom of the tower..." Jamie said slowly as the memory came back to him. "...aaaand there was music, so I followed it up here." Everything echoed in the staircase moving up towards the tower.

[Jory Addison]

A soft oh escaped from Jory's lips and he looked down at the until-then forgotten wireless. "There's still music," he pointed out, looking back up at Jamie. It seemed like it had gotten quieter, or had he turned it down before tossing it away? But it was still on, and it seemed like the playlist he had made up had started cycling through again, it was playing I'm Yours again. It seemed appropriate. "I'm glad you didn't, like, run off when you saw me being all cheesy." It was a pretty cheesy, happy song. But he loved it.

[jamie]

"Yeah, I guess there is." Jamie realized. He had been so caught up in their conversation, in Jory that he had hardly noticed. He hummed softly along with the now familiar tune. "No, it was cute." Jamie could remember the way the light hit Jory when he was swaying to the music earlier. It was like the picture out of a movie, it looked perfect.

[Jory Addison]

Jory felt the heat return to his cheeks and he was thankful he had turned his attention back to the wireless. Hopefully Jamie wouldn't see the color that comment brought. "It's cute to listen to Jason Mraz sing about love while looking at the stars?" Well, when he put it like that, it sounded like he was a hopeless romantic. He wasn't....was he? After a few seconds of thought, he decided that he probably was, if he could get away from getting all caught up in physical stuff so easily.