A New Outlook (Astronomy Tower)

[jamie]

Jamie's eyes caught on Jory's smile. It was one of those smiles that made him smile back. "This is nice." Jamie observed, rocking side to side. He nudged Jory's arm lightly. "I like this. Sitting here, talking, with you." He had said exactly what was on his mind at the moment. There was no shakiness, no nervousness, just that simple little fact. It made him feel like a weight had been lifted off of his chest. There was a freedom and happiness that appeared from sitting there and talking.

[Jory Addison]

"Yeah," Jory said, refusing to voice any thoughts he may have had about doing anything more. "It's nice to be able to talk to someone." Especially someone like Jamie. He loved how it felt to be able to just talk, it was easy. Not that he'd mind if Jamie slid a little closer or something. Jory would take what he could get, though, he was determined not to ask. "Do you have a lot of people you hang out with here?"

[jamie]

Jamie shook his head. "No, not really." He said. "I mean, not anymore. For the first couple of years I did, but I guess we all kind of went our separate ways." He was on the Quidditch Team his first and second years at Hogwarts and he ended up being close with all the guys on the team. One was his best friend, his brother, and so much more...until he turned into a lying backstabbing son of a...father. The memory forced a sigh out of Jamie. It was in the past now, but it still got him worked up. It wasn't that Jamie hadn't hung around people since his first few years at Hogwarts, he just didn't bother with them. He had been with many girls, countless, meaningless time, but he wouldn't call it 'hanging out' and he didn't seem it was necessary to mention any of them to Jory. "How about you? I mean other than Lyric and Quinn and Ocean..." Jamie said trying to remember all of the names they had mentioned previously.

[Jory Addison]

Jory shook his head, "Even those barely count. I mean...I hung out with Lyric last term, but I never had friends at school, even at MI." He had been quiet and kept to himself, other than the odd late night dorm conversation the guys had that he could actually participate in. "I haven't really talked to anyone since I came out." Not except Jamie, a conversation with Ocean, and one with Kane.

[jamie]

Jamie but his lips. "I wish it didn't have to be such a big deal to come out." He blurted out. He had meant it only as a thought and not to actually say it out loud. Maybe it wasn't such a big deal at Hogwarts, but it from what he heard from Jory it seemed like it was. And maybe Jamie was making it a bigger deal than it needed to be, but he certainly didn't mean to. He didn't understand that while a former Hogwarts student raped a girl, and still had people to 'hang out' with and talk to, god forbid someone comes out.

[Jory Addison]

Jory was silent for a while after that, unable to think of anything to add. It could have been minutes, but more likely it was just a few long seconds. He tightened his fingers around the lip of the windowsill and licked his lips before he spoke. "When I first got here, I met Dare in the library," he didn't think he needed to explain who Dare was to Jamie. Jamie had been here his whole life, so surely he would know of the partnership ceremony the previous summer between Dare and Michael.

"He told me they were outed, and that it was really hard when it happened. Like, I think they left the school even. And this man down in Diagon Alley basically was like it's overrated, not worth it, and Markise said be careful. They tried to tell me, but I didn't want to think it was going to be so bad." He closed his mouth tightly then. He talked way too much around Jamie. But it was so easy to....

[jamie]

Jamie nodded. He remembered hearing Dare's name a few times, and even more commonly around the time of the Ceremony. He had been home during the Ceremony, but still heard quite a bit about it. He's also seen Dare from afar, it's hard to miss the streaked hair, but not recently.

Jamie let his fingers trace the windowsill, moving lazily in circles and spirals. When his hand hit Jory's, he didn't pull it away but instead slid his hand entirely over Jory's hand. "You're brave." Jamie said. He glad Jory did decide to come out.

[Jory Addison]

Jory's eyes hovered on Jamie's hand over his, and then rose when Jamie spoke. You're brave. He smiled and shook his head, "No, I'm just stupid and I have to deal with it." It wasn't brave to do something when everyone had said it was a bad idea. It wasn't brave to hide away from everyone when they started picking on him.

[jamie]

"No, you're not stupid," Jamie insisted, letting his hand fall back to his side. He followed Jory with his eyes when he stood up. "You're brave." He repeated. "Whether or not you see it, you took a risk. Everyone told you not to, to keep quiet and hold your peace. You didn't listen, and I wish I had the bravery and courage that you have to do the same." It was true, Jamie was jealous of the fact that while Jory had the courage to come out, Jamie was still having to carry that weight on his chest.

[Jory Addison]

Jory pulled his hands together in his lap, rubbing absently at the one Jamie had been touching. "I...hoped I would find someone," he said. "I mean, it's hard enough to find other guys that are gay. When I came out, I really wanted to find someone. There wasn't a chance any other way." That hadn't been the largest reason, but it had been at least part of it. He looked down at his lap and pulled his other knee up, wrapping his arms around them both.

[jamie]

Jamie wanted to say: You found me, but he held himself back. He didn't want to rush himself into anything, didn't want Jory into anything. He convinced himself that was what went wrong the first time. If everything had gone slower, maybe he wouldn't have freaked out. He enjoyed talking with Jory, and even if that was all it was right now, he didn't want to screw it up and loose it again. "I'm glad you did," Jamie admitted. "If you didn't maybe we wouldn't have ever gotten a chance." His cheeks darkened a little as he spoke about them as we or having a chance...a chance for what?

[Jory Addison]

Jory looked over at Jamie, watching him silently for a moment. "Do we have a chance for an us?" he asked. Was it useless to put his energy and hopes into this? He didn't know how well he would handle investing himself in this only to find out there was never a chance. It would be so amazing if Jamie just said yeah, today, kiss me. Jory mentally shut his eyes, telling himself not to think that way. He kept his eyes on Jamie, though, to catch any telling signs.

[jamie]

Jamie looked away immediately to hide the color that immediately filled it. The idea of not rushing into anything was getting harder and harder to follow. When he looked at Jory again, caught his eyes, he almost gave up on the thought entirely and swept Jory into his arms right there. He clutched the edge of his windowsill in order to maintain control, something he lost very easily. Jamie bit his lip hard enough that it almost started to bleed. "Yeah," He said finally. "I want us to. Do you?" He asked tilting his head to the side. His heart pounded with anticipation as he waited for the response.

[Jory Addison]

Jory turned his face into his knees bashfully, though did he really have any right to be shy around Jamie? He peeked out and nodded. "I think that's pretty obvious." He didn't think that there was any way Jamie could not know. "Yeah," he added anyway. Maybe he had thought about it more than he would admit.

[jamie]

Jamie moved closer to Jory as relief flooded him. "Good." Jamie said thinking I can't do this alone. He looked at Jory for a moment, he was curled into a ball. Jamie placed a hand on his back and rubbed it gently. He had expected it, but wanted to make sure. He had completely lost track of all time, but it wasn't important now. Jamie had nowhere to go, and even if he did he wanted to be right where he was.