A New Outlook (Astronomy Tower)

[jamie]

Jamie bit his lip. The thought was worth considering, but as soon as Jamie considered it he thought about how his father would act. "My dad, I know he would kick me out. If I told him before I came back to school, I'm sure he'd also make sure i didn't return to Hogwarts. He's very old-fashioned, you see. Growing up his father was hard on him, too and I'm noticing more and more similarities between the two of them every time I see my dad." Jamie started playing with his hands. Thinking about his father, in general, made him nervous. He worked hard for years to be recognized above his other siblings just once, always trying to impress his father.

[Jory Addison]

Jory's eyebrows came together and he tried to imagine living in a place like that. "I...can't imagine having a family like that. If my dad had any problems with me I don't know about it." Was his family really so different from normal? He didn't want to imagine having a fmily that hadn't accepted him. "Sorry," he said, dropping his eyes again. "If you don't think it's worth it, then don't come out, it's really hard."

[jamie]

Jamie was surprised slightly. Jamie hadn't originally planned on coming out, at least not anytime soon. His last encounter with Jory convinced him that maybe it would just be better if he did. It would be like a weight lifted off of his chest, but as Jamie thought about it some more his decision wavered. He jumped back and forth in his mind on whether or not he should really send the letter, or keep quiet for a little while and let himself get used to the idea some more. "I don't know." He said, frustration beginning to build up inside of him. Jamie needed to talk about something else for a little while before he got too frustrated to think clearly. He remembered something Jory said earlier. "Who's Lyric?" He asked. "And who did you get into a fight with?" He wasn't trying to pry, he just needed something else to talk about.

[Jory Addison]

Jory would have pushed for Jamie to come out, at least to his parents, but he had mellowed out from talking to Kane and Ocean and the thoughts that had come from those conversations. Before that part of the conversation continued, Jamie was asking about Lyric. "It's a long story..." he said, unsure if Jamie would really want to hear it, and trying to figure out just what to say and what to omit.

[jamie]

Jamie was relieved that the subject was dropped for now. He still needed to figure some things out and he didn't have the patience or energy to do it right then. It's a long story... Jamie shrugged. "I don't mind." He said with an encouraging smile. "But if it's not anything you want to talk about, it's fine. I was just curious." He ran a hand over a smaller telescope that was facing one of the side windows. It looked like it was one first-years would use in order to get familiar with the device itself. In fact, Jamie vaguely remembered using one just like that in his earlier years at Hogwarts.

[Jory Addison]

Jory picked up his wireless and pulled himself up to sit on the wide windowsill. It was an open window, just like the rest, but it looked out over a balcony used for a broader view for observation, so he didn't have any worries about falling. Little Things by Good Charlotte came on as he put the wireless in his lap and crossed his ankles. "You can sit, too, if you want," he said, glancing over where there was more than enough room on the windowsill for Jamie to join him.

"I met Lyric at my old school and we came out to each other," he said. "Please don't tell him if you see him back here." He had told others about Lyric, so he really didn't see a reason not to tell Jamie, but he knew that Lyric still wasn't actually out. "Then he got this owl from the Headmistress that we were looking at each other too much and had to stop. He moved here like the next week, and I came after summer session, the beginning of last term.

"When we were both here, we talked a lot, and like...got together. He was my first." He stopped there for the moment to let Jamie absorb. He wanted to tell the whole story, but he wasn't going to just spill it all out at the very beginning like that.

[jamie]

Jamie followed Jory to the windowsill and joined him. He sat with his shoulders slumped forward slightly. He listened as Jory spoke, his brow furrowing. A question burned in the back of Jamie's mind, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to ask it yet. It probably wasn't any of his business, anyways. Instead, Jamie asked calmly, "Lyric....is he still here?" He hadn't heard the name except maybe from a few bystanders in the halls and such. Jamie glanced over at Jory, he was ready to listen but he wasn't trying to put pressure on Jory. Whatever he was comfortable with was fine with Jamie.

[Jory Addison]

Jory shook his head. "Not anymore. See, after we had been together a few times, he freaked out. Like...on his birthday we went to London, and he came back that night and got in bed with me. But the next morning he freaked out when I touched him. He told me later that he could only touch me when he was drunk, he has some serious issues. Turns out it wasn't being drunk, he was on drugs. He's in rehab right now. We didn't even talk a lot this term, since we fell out last term, but I tried to visit him, me and Quinn."

And that had been a horrible disaster. He hated even thinking about it. He hadn't talked to Quinn since, and he didn't really want to, either. It would be better to just pretend he didn't care and move on, that way maybe he would get to see Lyric and they could somehow be friends.

[jamie]

What a jerk, Jamie thought silently. Though he remembered how he had reacted last time and it probably wasn't much better. "Drugs can really mess with people." Jamie agreed. He knew some of the kids he grew up with got into some drugs and then got into run-ins with the law. One of his brothers had been abusing drugs for a while, but it was when Jamie was still a little kid and he didn't remember a whole lot about it. "It's good that he's getting help, though." Jamie said with a hopeful smile. The next person Jory mentioned was completely unfamiliar to Jamie. "Who's Quinn?"

[Jory Addison]

"She's this girl that I met when I went to get clothes at Markise's shop. It was a couple of months after the whole thing with Lyric, but I mean, he's my first, I still liked him. I found out she was with him, that like....they had had sex. I asked her if he had gotten drunk, and she said no, they had just had some pumpkin juice and that was all. I mean, now I know it was drugs, but it hurt so bad then, you know?"

Jamie had to know, there had to be someone in the world that understood where he was coming from. "I told her he only told me after, and I wanted to help him get better and understand why he couldn't touch me, but she just like, told me I was selfish and couldn't understand 'cause I hadn't gone through what he had. I got really mad and left.

"We kind of made up, and went to try to see Lyric at the rehab place last week, and it ended up she just told the stupid muggle doctor that we both had had sex with him and she told me that it was basically my fault that I hurt. She was all well you shouldn't let them and man up and stuff like that." It was impossible to ignore all of it, no matter how many times he was told to just ignore it. He looked down at the wireless in his hands and skipped to another song.

[jamie]

Jamie listened to the story, paying attention to every detail. That was something he was good at, actually listening to people when they spoke and not just hearing words. There was a whole lot Jamie wanted to blurt out, but he knew if he did it wouldn't sound nice at all. For one, this Lyric guy didn't deserve Jory. Another, Quinn had no right to share someone else's personal life with a complete stranger. Jamie placed his hand over Jory's. "It'll be okay." He said. He remembered a popular saying his mother would use often. She even had it stitched into a pillow that she hung over the kitchen door. Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end.

[Jory Addison]

Jory looked up at the light feel of Jamie's hand and he managed a small smile. "Thank you," he said. "Really. I feel a lot better now than I have in a long time." That included not only Jamie being so accepting, but also talking to Ocean and Kane. "Believe it or not, I used to be like I was when you walked in all the time." He smiled again at the self-teasing.

[jamie]

Jamie grinned. He liked this Jory, but he liked what he saw of the Old Jory all the same. Either way he felt calm and relaxed around him, and relieved. Jory was like a breath of fresh air. It was comforting being able to talk to someone else who had an idea of what he was going through. It was beyond comfort, though. Even when Jamie place his hand lightly over Jory's, his heart began to pound. "Ehh, you're alright." Jamie said with a teasing smile. He poked Jory in the sides.

[Jory Addison]

Jory's elbow jerked to his side, without thinking, to protect against the immediate ticklish sensation that came from Jamie's fingers. "Thanks," he said with a light laugh. "So are you." He peeked over at Jamie and nudged him lightly with his elbow. He did like being with Jamie, it was easy when they were like this, as long as Jamie didn't freak out or leave or something.

[jamie]

"Hey!" Jamie said after having been nudged. His jaw dropped dramatically. "Just alright?" He said, teasing. He put his hand on his heart, feigning hurt. "Ouch!" He exclaimed, but he could keep a straight face and started laughing. He liked being able to joke with Jory, without worrying about offending him or saying the wrong thing and end up getting, oh let's say slapped across the cheek. Jamie still had a faint red mark from that time Verity had slapped him on the Quidditch Pitch, but he supposed he probably deserved it.