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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 27, 2009 21:02:36 GMT -5
Ariel glanced over at Markise before dropping his eyes again. "If you want me to stay, I will." It wasn't that he wanted to leave, anyway, it was that he felt awkward and useless standing there and not talking. A few moments later, he looked back at Markise. He didn't want to end up like they had been before and get so close, because it inevitably ended badly.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 27, 2009 21:33:47 GMT -5
Markise looked down again as he thought. He didn't want Ariel to go, but if he stayed much longer, he was going to throw himself at Ariel and refuse to take no for an answer.
Markise... Don't...
Please?
You'll regret it in the morning.
It's you or someone else...
But he didn't have someone else now. And he wouldn't.
"I want you to stay, but... maybe just a little break," he suggested, hoping that didn't sound too bad. He looked back up at Ariel, hoping he understood, at least partially. It wasn't Ariel he wanted a break from, not in the least. It was the temptation.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 27, 2009 21:53:55 GMT -5
Ariel blinked at Markise, unsure if he really caught what Markise meant. "Markise..." he said, then took a breath. "If you want me to stay, tell me to stay. If you want me to leave, tell me to leave." He wasn't in the mood for any kind of games or vague statements. He watched Markise, wanting something simple and easy after the rough couple of weeks he had had.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 27, 2009 21:59:51 GMT -5
Markise looked away as his eyes teared up, though thankfully his cheeks stayed dry. He silently and fiercely damned his allergies. "I want you to stay," he said softly. His gum had been rendered useless with Ariel's question. "I want more, but...I don't know, I'm scared." He hated having to admit it, and he hoped Ariel understood. If he had to explain himself much farther, as little as he'd just said, it was going to be too hard.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 27, 2009 22:11:22 GMT -5
Ariel took a deep breath and just barely kept himself from letting it out in a sigh before he shifted a little closer to Markise. "Do you think it's a good idea to start something like that?" he asked softly. He didn't personally, he wanted to try to get everything else fixed first. He still wanted Markise just as badly as he had before, but he didn't want to let himself start off the summer like that.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 27, 2009 22:23:21 GMT -5
Markise shook his head. "No, but that doesn't keep me from wanting it," he said. He closed his eyes, letting himself just feel how close Ariel was. "I want you to stay, and I want... too much." He paused, trying to keep himself from going on any further. He didn't need to tell Ariel how much he wanted it, or explicitly what it was. "When have I ever listened to good ideas?" he asked, so softly that no one further than Ariel could have heard it. When have I ever had a good idea?
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 27, 2009 22:33:18 GMT -5
Ariel closed his eyes and hung his head slightly. "I...don't make me make this decision," he pleaded softly. If he insisted on saying no, he would probably mess something up, and if he said yes then he knew something would go wrong. He just couldn't handle trying to decide himself. Did he really need to replace his addictions with another one? But that was just what he intended to do with swimming and working out, wasn't it?
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 27, 2009 22:43:40 GMT -5
Markise pushed his hair back again, focusing on his gum as he tried to sort his own thoughts. Don't make me make this decision. Did he mean that the way he'd meant it so many times before, even when he hadn't said it? Ariel had never wanted to make the decision, and so Markise would. Ariel had tried to be noble that night in the Room of Requirement, but Markise hadn't regretted it. Couldn't they, just once? Just to clear the air, so they could be comfortable again? Markise knew it wouldn't work that way.
"If I say I'll see you later, will you be okay?" he asked softly. Maybe they needed time to cool off. Maybe that would help. But Markise wouldn't leave if it was going to make things hard for Ariel. He forced his eyes to crack open and looked aside at Ariel, unsure what he wanted to hear.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 27, 2009 23:16:40 GMT -5
"It's not like I can go off and do anything," Ariel pointed out. He didn't have anything to do, other than hunt down the Room of Requirement and pray that it wasn't being used, or make the trip down to the lake to swim. There was no substance in his room he could go after, and no person in the castle he could go after. He would be fine.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 28, 2009 7:41:29 GMT -5
"I didn't ask if you'd stay out of trouble," Markise said, turning his head a bit to look at Ariel better. "I asked if you'd be okay." There was a world of difference between the two. "After what I said, I mean."
He looked away again, silently cursing himself now, not only for having said it in the first place, but for sounding like a narcissistic ass. Like Ariel would really sit around mooning over him just because he'd said something like that.
Markise was seriously considering trapping Brindle into helping him keep track of Ariel, just so he could go visit Mano and calm down a little. It felt so wrong, though. He should be going through torture too, for how tight a leash he was keeping Ariel on.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 28, 2009 12:10:09 GMT -5
Ariel looked up at Markise, and then dropped his eyes. "Yes, I'll be okay." He didn't know how everything was going to work out, but it had to somehow. Somehow everything would turn out the way it needed to. Though he had no idea what it was supposed to tun into anyway. "Will you be?" he asked, turning his eyes back to Markise.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 28, 2009 13:11:30 GMT -5
Markise's eyes closed at the question, prickling heat surfacing at the bridge of his nose. It was such a little question, but from Ariel he knew it was more than just a return, and something about knowing that affected him as much as everything else. After a moment he nodded, though he was more hopeful than sure. He would be okay, but it would be so hard. "I'll be fine," he said softly.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 28, 2009 13:25:13 GMT -5
Ariel watched Markise before finally pushing away from the windowsill. He wished he could just decide for himself, to let himself just take what he and Markise both wanted. He couldn't stand to do it, though. If Markise initiated, he wouldn't be able to resist, but he couldn't bring himself to start. "Where do you want to meet up at?" he asked, refusing to reach out and touch Markise. He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 28, 2009 13:34:26 GMT -5
Markises's hands moved only a moment after Ariel's, one arm moving across his stomach to settle a hand at his waist as the other twirled a lock of hair. Anywhere was his first thought, followed immediately by the Room of Requirement. He needed air, and he was sure Ariel needed it too. "By the lake?" he asked, looking up when he finally had his thoughts under control. "You could swim if you want, I'll just watch." Then he could torture himself without actually being able to do anything, and maybe they could both relax a little.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 28, 2009 13:41:16 GMT -5
Ariel nodded, though he had no idea how comfortable he would be swimming when Markise was just sitting there watching. "I'll be down there," he said, then took a couple of awkward steps down the corridor before pausing and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. He felt like there should be something else to say, but nothing came to mind.
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