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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 26, 2009 15:04:31 GMT -5
He had to be hideous by now, he knew it. His eyes burned, and he could feel the heat in his face that told him how red his nose and cheeks must be. He'd cried so hard though, once he'd been alone enough to let himself.
He hadn't trusted the common room or his dorm, not for this. He didn't want anyone asking him what was wrong, or whispering to someone else what an absolute wuss he was. He didn't need anyone so much as noticing him, so he'd gone straight from the entrance hall into the maze of corridors, losing himself in the places so few ever bothered seeking out, especially with the sun so warm outside.
He was sitting curled up in an alcove now, holding a soggy handkerchief and attempting to wipe off what he could of his mascara with the dry corner. He sniffled now and then, but aside from that, the only noise he made was an occasional hiccup.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 26, 2009 15:11:26 GMT -5
It was only by chance that Ariel caught sight of Markise. He just happened to look up at just the right time to see the familiar blond hair at the edge of the alcove. His feet stopped immediately. Ever since the last time he had seen Markise he hadn't been back to Popstarz, he hadn't even gone to the clubs for two weeks after. The week he had gone back, his goal had been to get back into the swing of things, and he had, doing some things he regretted, but that he saw himself doing again anyway.
Thoughts rushed through his head in the seconds his feet had stopped. He knew he should just walk away, there was no need to go talk to Markise. So he continued walking. Then he heard a sniffle, and his footsteps slowed. "Markise?" he asked softly as he came up beside the alcove.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 26, 2009 15:20:53 GMT -5
Markise pulled a quick breath as the familiar sound of that voice echoed through him far louder than it had been spoken. His head turned, then rose, and rose some more, just the sight of Ariel enough to bring tears to his eyes all over again. He'd been thinking about Dare almost entirely, but now he was reminded of everything he'd said to Michael about Ariel, and he knew he'd left out so much. He was more grateful than he would have ever imagined that Ariel was here.
He sniffled again and dropped his gaze, his breaths coming irregularly again as he struggled against another threatening wave of tears. He wanted to say something, wanted to say so many things, but what? How much he missed him? How much he wished he just hadn't taken Ariel to that club, how much he wished he hadn't gotten drunk?
"I want to go home," he confessed, choking lightly on the words.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 26, 2009 15:26:40 GMT -5
Any thoughts of leaving Markise to deal with whatever it was alone left immediately. Ariel stood away, his hands shoved into his pockets, for a long few seconds before he pulled his hands out and walked over to Markise. He ran his hands through his hair and then sat close to Markise. "What's wrong?" he asked softly. He wanted to reach out and put his arms around Markise, but thoughts of the last time they had been together kept him from doing it.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 26, 2009 15:36:58 GMT -5
Markise was so desperate for the contact, and yes, he missed Ariel. He missed his solid, stubborn strength, and with his mind where it was, that was all it took. Hardly a moment had passed before he shifted enough to rest his head at the crook of Ariel's shoulder, his handkerchief rising to dab at his eyes again.
"I'm sick of Hogwarts, and I'm sick of Scotland. I'm sick of London, and Dare and Michael, and I'm sick of being alone," he said. He was so sick of being alone. "I'm sick of hiding." It was why he'd come out before and ruined everything. He'd had no one to talk to anymore with Dare gone, and Kwami had been no support at all. But at home, they knew.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 26, 2009 15:48:17 GMT -5
Ariel had tensed momentarily at the first contact, but then had moved his arm around Markise's waist lightly. He crossed his legs and rested his other arm against his own stomach. He almost said that he would gladly be with Markise again, if that would help him, but sometime over the past weeks he had been thinking and found that it wouldn't work. No matter how much he loved the idea of being with Markise again, he couldn't imagine changing the lifestyle he had gotten so used to, he didn't think Markise could ever take him back, anyway. He didn't want Markise to leave, either. "Is there anything I can do?"
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 26, 2009 15:57:54 GMT -5
Markise looked up at Ariel then, a hundred thoughts he couldn't catch bouncing through his mind. Two stuck out beyond the others, and he caught at them, biting his tongue, but unable to push the thoughts away. Ask me to stay; Tell me you'd miss me. Kiss me goodbye so I'll have something good to remember. "I don't know," he whispered. I can't decide.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 26, 2009 16:02:37 GMT -5
Ariel's arm tightened around Markise and for a second it felt like he hadn't experienced the dark underbelly of the world that was so commonplace for him now, like he had never messed up and they were still together. His eyes dropped and he turned his head away. "Do you really want to leave?" he asked softly. Even if he didn't think he could pull away from the life he was so used to now, he couldn't imagine never seeing Markise.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 26, 2009 16:13:40 GMT -5
Markise felt a wave of disappointment when Ariel didn't kiss him, but didn't wonder at it. If he left, then there wouldn't be any consequences to something as small as a kiss. He gave a light sigh and tried to concentrate on Ariel's question and whatever the answer was. He nodded slightly against Ariel's shoulder. "I want to go home," he said again. He squeezed his eyes shut a moment, then brought his hand, curled around that handkerchief, to settle against Ariel's thigh. He felt almost sorry for wanting to leave so badly, and for the moment, he wished he could bring Ariel with him.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 26, 2009 16:23:45 GMT -5
Ariel's eyebrows came together as he tried to wrap his mind around the concept of a world without Markise. It wasn't like he saw him very often, but he still couldn't imagine not even having the option anymore. He rested his head lightly against Markise's and brought his hand to the one at his leg. "It...it would be strange not seeing you," he said, and another thought came to his mind. If Markise left, and he did somehow find a way to pull himself out of the life he was living, where would he have to go?
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 26, 2009 16:30:16 GMT -5
A small noise something like a sob escaped Markise's lips at Ariel's confession. He tried not to read too much into it, but how could he not with Ariel surrounding him the way he was. "I... I'd miss you," he admitted almost inaudibly. "But I'm going crazy here." He'd been better in the hospital than he was now, and it was only getting worse as time dragged on. It seemed like an eternity that he'd been here
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 26, 2009 16:34:28 GMT -5
Ariel wanted to turn his head and kiss Markise's hair, but every time he felt himself come anywhere close to it he just remembered the boundaries that Markise had put up between them during their dances together, and he couldn't bring himself to chance being pushed away. "Can you wait until the end of the school year?" he asked, his voice soft as he thought. There had to be a way to keep Markise there. Maybe...maybe if he waited until the end of the year, maybe by then Ariel would have figured out how to get away from everything.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 26, 2009 16:41:10 GMT -5
Markise had to give that question actual thought. He didn't want to wait that long. It was only two months, but then he might feel like he had to stay another for DareandMichael's whatever the hell they were calling it. As pissed as he was at both of them, and as close to a suicide attempt as he was sure it would push him, he'd feel obligated.
"I don't know," Markise replied, though when he thought about it, it was so close, wasn't it? Two months was two months too long to stay here, but he'd get farther having completed 6th year even if it was only a technicality, wouldn't he? "Do you want me to try?" Markise asked.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 26, 2009 16:56:45 GMT -5
Ariel closed his eyes and nodded, "Yes." He would really like for Markise to stay, even if he ended up leaving over the summer, anyway. His mind immediately jumped to thinking of ways to get him to stay. But he had no right to ask Markise to stay when he wasn't even sure he could be with Markise, did he? "I'll help you, if I can," he said, though he had no idea how he could do that. He could be a friend, couldn't he?
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 26, 2009 17:19:49 GMT -5
Markise closed his eyes. "I'll try," he whispered. He didn't know how Ariel could help him, but it was only two months. It was Ariel asking him to stay. Markise was worn down, physically and mentally exhausted from the past months, the past weeks, and especially the past hours. Ariel felt so good against him, and he'd thought about it so much lately. Ariel was trying to rescue him again, for some reason. Markise shifted, lifting his head and one hand to lay against Ariel's jawline. Thank you. Before his mind could gather itself long enough to think about it, he brought their lips together.
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