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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 21:22:21 GMT -5
Michael shook his head, "I listen. Dare's right, I don't talk about personal things unless I know someone well or I feel like it's...right. But that doesn't mean I won't listen. I like to try to help, and I don't hate you, if I hated you, then no matter how much I loved Dare I wouldn't be able to be doing this." Whatever it was, he would listen and he would try to talk, perhaps he would even have something he could say that would help Markise.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 21:40:58 GMT -5
Markise looked aside at Michael again without turning his head, trying to decide what he could say. He was driving himself crazy with everything, but he couldn't exactly say, I'd be fine if I just had someone to f~! It really wasn't as simple as that. Plus, apparently Michael and Dare were still virgins. That pleased Markise to no end. Maybe he didn't want to give Michael ideas.
He sighed heavily and looked out over the water again, nearly rolling his eyes at himself, or maybe at the situation he'd gotten himself into. If Michael wanted to get to know him, fine, he'd tell him the situation.
"I ran into Ariel at the club last month, and again a couple weeks ago. He's still whoring himself out." His brows knitted together, and his gaze dropped to where his hands had torn out a blade of grass to shred. "He said he wants another chance." And there was the problem at its simplest form.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 22:02:15 GMT -5
Michael just kept himself from saying that Ariel wasn't worth another chance, though he believed it. He thought that it was better to give an objective opinion first, and then he could give his own opinion if asked. "Do you want to give him a second chance?" he asked instead. He didn't know Ariel the way Markise did, so he didn't know if there was a possibility of redemption.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 22:10:25 GMT -5
Markise shook his head adamantly. "No," he said. "I've done that before, gotten back with someone... controlling?" He wasn't sure that was the right word, but it was as close as he could get. Ariel probably didn't even realize that about himself, but Markise did. His hand rose self-consciously, and he tucked a strand of fine blond hair behind his ear. "I still... I still want him, though. I know, it's pathetic, but I'm... lonely." He was torn between hoping to shock Michael and hoping it went over his head.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 22:24:33 GMT -5
Michael shook his head, "It's not pathetic." He couldn't say that it was pathetic at all. He didn't really take it any further than wanting to be with Ariel, mostly because it wasn't any of his business what they did. "Do you think he can change?" he asked. He had seen, had experienced rather large changes, he didn't think that it was impossible for anyone.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 22:31:06 GMT -5
Markise shook his head. "I can't. If I did, I'd... It's my fault he's like this, isn't it? I mean, I feel like it is even if I didn't make him do it. He says... he says I should've expected it and I can't really blame him since I brought him there. And then he follows me around trying to protect me or something, and I don't know what to do." He rolled his eyes, partly out of frustration, and partly in the hopes of holding back the moisture in his eyes. "I'm sorry, you really don't want to know this," he said weakly.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 22:49:11 GMT -5
"Sounds like he cares, I mean, at least a little." Michael didn't particularly like Ariel, but he couldn't deny that it sounded like there was at least a little bit there worth going after. "I don't see how it's your fault, either," he added. He didn't see anything that would make it Markise's fault. "Or how you should have expected that it would happen."
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 23:04:49 GMT -5
Markise shook his head. He couldn't either, even if Ariel's words kept coming back to him, that he'd never even met another gay guy, and how was he supposed to turn down the chance for experience?
"I don't know," he said. "I don't care if he cares, though. I'm sick of settling, but it's not like I have much of a choice! I... I'm not going to find Mr. Right, and Mr. Right Now is everywhere..." At the club, with Robbie. In Diagon Alley with Mano. "I don't know how people wait," he said under his breath. He didn't know why people waited. He needed to just let Robbie f~ him and give up the no casual sex thing. Hunting down Mano wasn't any better, was it?
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 23, 2009 12:56:45 GMT -5
Michael blinked and looked away. "No one says you have to," he said, "Maybe it's just not time for you to find the one you're going to be with." He sighed and plucked a blade of grass. He didn't know how their relationship was, he didn't know much about Markise, but he knew that people didn't always find the person to be with so early in life. Unless they were forced into it. But then his mind went back to Dare and he realized that Markise and Dare were the same age. It was one of those times where it clicked that Dare was so much younger than he was, a fact that he often forgot.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 23, 2009 17:57:33 GMT -5
Markise flicked a brief look toward Michael "And until then, what?" he asked. "One night stands 'til I lose count?" He shook his head, though he couldn't help thinking about how tempted he'd been lately. "Even if I'm dead by thirty I'd like to have some self-respect left." Michael wasn't entirely on the wrong track; Markise did want someone he could stay with, at least for a while, but for now he was talking about sex, and a malicious little part of him was tired of whatever bizarre sense of naivety was sending everything he said right over Michael's head.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 24, 2009 14:27:48 GMT -5
Michael shook his head, "Why would you want that?" It was what people like Emilian and Mano did, and Michael had never understood it. "Who's saying that you have to be with someone right now anyway? I can understand being lonely, but there's no reason to push it." He couldn't imagine why people would want to do anything like that, least of all someone that was so close to Dare.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 24, 2009 14:37:34 GMT -5
Markise looked at Michael again, wondering if he still didn't get it, or if he really was that hard to shock. "I don't want that," he said, "but I'm seventeen and horny, and any hand is better than my own. I don't want to be a whore, paid or not, but it drives me crazy! The guys at the club want me, I want it, but I'm trying to hold out for... for nothing. And Ariel comes along, and..." Markise shook his head, then looked back to the water, one hand rising to twist into his hair. He didn't need Ariel. He needed to put aside his pride and go visit Mano.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 24, 2009 14:42:21 GMT -5
If nothing else had, or would ever have, broken through, that certainly did. Michael's eyes widened and then dropped immediately. He tried to push away any uncomfortable feelings and focus on trying to help, but he was at a loss. It had always been so easy to push away any feeling like what Markise was talking about for him. Usually there was so much going on that he didn't have time to think about it, or he just refused to let it become anything more than a passing thought. How was he supposed to help with something like that? "I don't know what to say to that," he admitted finally in a soft voice.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 24, 2009 14:54:30 GMT -5
Finally, Markise thought with a smug sense of schadenfreude. "I wasn't fishing for offers, if that's what you thought," he said. It was obvious Michael hadn't, but judging by that moment of profound silence, he at least knew what the word horny meant. Was he a prude, though? Markise couldn't imagine Dare would go for that, either. Not after seeing him with some of his girlfriends, Amber in particular. Markise still had no clue why Dare was so attached to Michael. He wasn't strong enough, and apparently they'd been together for several months and still weren't having sex. Markise was sure that only girls waited for marriage, and they couldn't get married anyway. It was just ridiculous.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 24, 2009 15:03:51 GMT -5
Michael shook his head, unsure how in the world he was supposed to continue the conversation when he could barely even talk about the topic with Dare. "I'm sorry, I want to help," he said after a few long silent moments, "But I can't talk about this." There, that was the easiest way to do it. It Markise needed to talk about that, he could find someone else, because Michael wasn't about to make himself go through that. His eyes remained on his hands and he shifted uncomfortably in his spot.
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