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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 13:07:02 GMT -5
Michael looked up and his mouth opened to speak, only to close tightly again. His eyes darted away. "Because I'm afraid," he said, and that was all he said. He didn't want to tell Markise that he was afraid because Dare loved him as much as he loved Dare, and that it was something he wasn't used to, even though he had had girlfriends before. Sometimes it felt like he was catching up on a lifetime's worth of feeling loved. He couldn't tell Markise that.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 13:14:02 GMT -5
"Afraid of what?" Markise asked, his brows only narrowing further. "If you think he's going to leave you he's not, I've seen the way he looks at you..." Markise's voice cracked, and he looked away from Michael, up into the sky as he dabbed at his eyes again. "He never looked at anyone like that before," he said softly, and even softer, "Definitely not me." That first day, when DareandMichael had kissed in front of him, he'd known, whether he'd admitted it to himself or not, that Dare was lost. It was when he'd turned around, that look in his eyes... He still didn't think Michael was good enough, but Dare did, didn't he?
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 13:22:44 GMT -5
Michael looked up at Markise again. "I just...I don't have a very good past with this kind of thing. I mean...you have no idea how my last few relationships have ended. I got through those, but I don't think I could get through..." he trailed off and looked away. His chest constricted just at the thought of losing Dare. "Anyway, I really wish you two would be able to be friends again." He closed his eyes to avoid Markise's, he had said more than he wanted to, but it felt necessary.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 13:31:51 GMT -5
Markise's lips pressed tightly together, and he worked at his gum, trying to form an actual reply instead of just screaming at Michael. Get over yourself! Any hypocrisy in the statement was lost to him. "If you're that big a jinx to relationships, then maybe you shouldn't be getting married," he said at last, despite the lack of intelligence in doing so. He completely ignored the attempted change in subjects. He couldn't be friends with Dare, not anything beyond saying hi at the Bloody Mary, as long as Michael refused to trust him. Therefore, it didn't matter if he pissed him off. It certainly wasn't going to screw anything up between him and Dare.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 13:36:07 GMT -5
Michael shook his head and his eyes opened. "We can't even get married! It's illegal here, we couldn't even get a marriage visa for America because they don't offer them to same-sex couples!" He watched Markise for a second before shaking his head again and looking out over the lake. "Like I hadn't thought about it, anyway," he muttered. More than once over the past few weeks he had thought about the fact that perhaps the relationship wouldn't work.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 13:42:44 GMT -5
Markise's lips pressed tighter, and he felt the heat of anger bubbling up with the return of jealousy as he looked harshly aside at Michael. "You know what I meant, and if you're going to do it, you better damn well do it before the damn ceremony! You're not going to f~ing break his heart! Do it or f~ing let it go and be good for him!" Just make up your mind!
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 13:47:52 GMT -5
"You saw how he was! How could I not have been thinking about it when the relationship was falling apart? No, I'm not going to do anything, I'm not breaking it off, especially not when we've finally started to fix things." He glared up at Markise. If the conversation stayed like it was, they would never get anywhere. "Listen, I didn't come here to talk about me and him, I came to talk about you and him."
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 14:03:15 GMT -5
"There can't be me and him if you don't trust me!" Markise said. He looked away again, inwardly trying to nurse his wounds. It figured they were fixing things. They couldn't have done it without him, and he doubted either of them-- least of all Dare --even realized it.
"How are we supposed to be friends when... just talking to him feels wrong. It's like, it's like we're doing something wrong being together. I feel like a f~ing adulterer just talking to him. I know I'm not gonna try anything, and he's sure as hell not gonna try anything, but you're there whether you're there or not." God, he was confusing himself. He looked aside at Michael again.
"He isn't going to forget you while he's talking to me, and like it or not, neither am I."
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 14:08:11 GMT -5
"What can I do? How can I trust you if you two aren't around each other? Just like I can't be expected to like you without being around you! You were his best friend. I want to be able to trust you, I'm so sorry that it's not exactly one of my strong points!" Michael jerked his head to the side and licked his lips angrily. He didn't know what to do to make it all right again. And he still held tightly to the belief that they could be friends again.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 14:27:11 GMT -5
Markise was silent at that, and his gaze dropped, then slid out over the water as he thought. The first parts of what Michael had said hit him hard enough that he was able to completely let go of that moment of sarcasm.
"So what do you want?" he asked after a while. "I mean, what can I do? You want to like... talk to me or something?" They'd talked briefly a couple other times, hadn't they? This was so confusing! He didn't like Michael right now, and didn't particularly want to be liked by him, but even as pissed at Dare as he was... He didn't know if he was strong enough to be Dare's friend knowing how hopeless it was, but he couldn't stand the thought of never seeing him again, even if it hurt every time.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 14:31:21 GMT -5
"I want you to talk to Dare and I want you two to try to work this out. Because I can't accept you if you're never around him or me, or us. I have to see it first before I can accept or trust, I can't just trust, it doesn't work like that for me." Michael sighed and his shoulders hunched over so that his head hung down to look at his hands. Why did everything always go wrong when he tried to help?
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 14:43:20 GMT -5
"So getting to know me won't help," Markise said, looking aside at Michael again. "You have to what, watch me talk to Dare so you know I won't... I don't know, I don't even know what you're so worried about! You didn't trust me when I was trying to talk to him before, so why would it be any different now?" He didn't particularly care if Michael looked like he'd rather be under a rock right now. Michael was a p~y anyway. He'd never have pegged Dare for the type that wanted someone to control.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 14:47:51 GMT -5
"I tried getting to know you!" Michael said. "I tried to talk to you, and then I found out that it all apparently meant nothing because Dare thought I didn't want him around you!" He had tried for Dare and it had failed. Now he saw no point in it, the point was for Dare to get his friend back, not for Michael to become great friends with Markise.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 15:44:09 GMT -5
"Bullsh~," Markise said sharply. "The only time we've ever talked about anything besides Dare was..." when I found out about Ariel. "Was once," he corrected himself. He turned his head away from Michael to glare out over the water, a low growl of frustration sounding from his throat. "I'm tired of arguing!" he said. "I'm confused, I don't even care!" His allergies were acting up and he had a headache. All he knew was Michael didn't trust him and didn't like him, but wanted him to be friends with Dare anyway. It didn't make sense!
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 22, 2009 16:24:40 GMT -5
"Okay, fine, I'm sorry, I-" Michael stopped himself and ran his hands through his hair again. He didn't know what to do, he never knew what to do. How was he such a failure at everything when it came to people? It all made sense in his mind, but when he tried to tell anyone else, it never made any sense. He closed his eyes again and clenched his hands tightly in his hair, elbows still on his knees. He had to think.
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