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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 20, 2009 20:26:08 GMT -5
It was beautiful outside today. Undeniably, obscenely beautiful, and Markise couldn't fully enjoy it. He popped the bubble he'd been working on, then pulled the gum back into his mouth, fingers twirling idly into his hair as he looked out over the lake.
It was strange doing so, after so long. Yes, he'd come to the lake with Larten once, but most of his memories here were with someone else, someone who dominated his thoughts more and more often lately. It likely didn't help that they'd danced so close the last times they'd run into each other, nor that Anna had been so busy lately. He'd been alone too much again, and he didn't do well alone.
No one was made to be alone. Some do better than others alone, but it doesn't mean that's how they're supposed to be.
Nothing was how it was supposed to be.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 20, 2009 20:53:23 GMT -5
The weekend had been good overall. Michael had even almost forgotten that he had intended to hunt down Markise until he saw him by the lake during lunch. There was no way Michael was going to stay inside when he actually had the chance to be outside in good weather. The fact that Markise was there already made him pause to remember why on earth that should be important. And then it all came rushing back.
It still took a few moments for Michael to make himself walk towards Markise, and it took even more effort to speak. "Hey, can I talk to you?" he asked, almost afraid of how Markise would react. He had his hands in his pockets and his head down, it was completely different from how he had imagined he was going to confront Markise, and he had no idea what he was going to say, but it was happening, and he had already spoken.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 20, 2009 21:03:31 GMT -5
Markise jumped at the sound of Michael's voice, reflexively leaning away as he looked up. He blinked rapidly, and it took him a moment or two to tell himself to calm down. Ariel was torn from his mind in an instant, replaced with the things he'd said to Dare, that he couldn't imagine hadn't been passed on to Michael. if Michael f~ing wants me so bad he can f~ing suck my d~ himself! He braced himself for an ass-kicking, despite the fact that there was nothing immediately aggressive about the ex-Death Eater standing over him.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 20, 2009 21:12:19 GMT -5
Michael stopped and didn't come any closer. "Relax, I'm not going to attack you or anything," he said and rolled his eyes. "So can I sit?" He wasn't going to sit without permission, but he wasn't going to leave, either. He felt like he had to be the one to fix things, considering it was because of him that the friendship had fallen apart. Mostly.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 20, 2009 21:49:00 GMT -5
There was an uncomfortable pause while Markise thought, but after a moment he nodded. He was still wary, despite Michael's assurance, and the roll of his eyes that said he thought Markise was overreacting. He couldn't keep himself from those thoughts though, and the sudden, unwelcome visual of Michael having come to... Markise blinked and forced his gaze out over the lake, though he kept Michael in his peripheral vision. Maybe it was time to visit Mano again.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 20, 2009 21:53:47 GMT -5
Michael sat and crossed his legs. He put his bag beside him and then rested his elbows on his knees. "So Dare told me he talked to you," he said. It would probably be best to just say it, wouldn't it? It would do no good for either of them if he tried to avoid the situation. "He was pretty upset about it all." He stared out over the water as he spoke, but when the words were out he turned his eyes toward Markise.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 20, 2009 22:01:25 GMT -5
Markise made the mistake of looking over at Michael at the same time Michael looked at him. He blinked and diverted his gaze to the grass in front of him, forcing himself to form a bubble rather than blurting out the first thing that came to mind. Damn right, he deserves to be upset about it, he was a total ass the whole time. He let his bubble pop and nodded instead of speaking. He was pretty upset, too. Why in hell was Michael here?
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 20, 2009 22:20:48 GMT -5
"He told me a lot, but I got the feeling he didn't tell me everything," Michael said. He hadn't expected it to be easy, but he hadn't expected Markise to be completely silent, either. He linked his fingers tightly together and stared at his thumbs. "I hate that you two aren't friends, and I wanted that to change, but then he told me it didn't work out. What happened?"
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 20, 2009 22:32:01 GMT -5
Markise tried to think of an answer, but his mind kept going back to Michael saying that he hated that he and Dare weren't friends. He couldn't get over it. He chewed his gum furiously, trying to get himself to just say something constructive! "Just be happy you have him and leave me alone," he managed, the words soft and not at all accusatory. Maybe it wasn't the most constructive thing to say, but he'd never get over Dare if this continued, and he had enough on his plate just trying to get over Ariel.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 20, 2009 22:38:23 GMT -5
"This isn't about me," Michael said, finally focusing on Markise. "This is about the fact that I know you two used to be close friends, and now you aren't, and it's mostly my fault." At least, he felt like it was his fault, though Dare insisted on saying it wasn't. Even though he had never told Dare not to talk to Markise, somehow Dare had thought that, and things had just gone downhill from there. "He doesn't have anybody."
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 21, 2009 15:39:04 GMT -5
"He has you," Markise snapped. He refused to look at Michael, refused to let him see the emotions he was better off not seeing. How could Michael not know? Wasn't whatever threat he thought Markise posed the reason he didn't like him? How had that changed? He was so confused that even thinking about Ariel sounded better right now.
"Why in hell would you want me near him anyway?" he asked, his voice more petulant than accusatory, though it held tones of both. "You don't f~ing trust me, and you don't even f~ing like me."
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 21, 2009 23:26:39 GMT -5
Michael shook his head and shifted where he was sitting to look at Markise. "The point isn't whether I trust you or like you. It'll be hard for me to trust you, but I've tried to be civil, for Dare's sake. The point of it all is that Dare shouldn't just have me, it's not right. Especially not when I know you two were so close." He wasn't enough for Dare, and he knew he wasn't enough, even if it killed him to think of it. It was even worse to think about it when he considered the weekend they had had.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 21, 2009 23:44:04 GMT -5
Markise's head turned sharply toward Michael, brows knitted, anger showing in his pale eyes. "Why can't you trust me?" he demanded. "Because I acted like an idiot when I found out Dare had a boyfriend? I haven't done anything since then! I don't hit on him, I don't try to steal him away, he doesn't even like me like that, so what is it?"
Damn allergies! Markise turned away again, reaching up to wipe lightly under his eyes as he looked skyward. This wasn't the time for this. He could cry later, when no one, least of all Dare's fiancé, was around to see.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Mar 21, 2009 23:50:13 GMT -5
Michael's eyes dropped. "I know, I know that," he said, then ran his hands through his hair and licked his lips as he tried to think, to explain why he couldn't do it. "I...yes. The easy answer is yes, it's because of that first time. Yes, it's ridiculous, I get that, okay? That doesn't mean I can just forget it. I know it was months ago, I know that, I just...I can't." He closed his eyes tightly and shut his lips tighter to keep himself from saying the rest of what tried to come out.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 22, 2009 12:10:02 GMT -5
Markise's eyes widened slightly in frustration as he looked back at Michael. "You can't what? Why can't you forgive me?" His eyes pleaded for some kind of answer. Aside from Dare's stupidity, aside from his obliviousness and the fact that he'd been pushing Markise away for almost a year now, it wasn't right for either of them being together, even innocently, when it felt like... like cheating! Why did it have to feel like that?
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