I'm Fine, Honest (Dare/Michael)

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael had headed to the forest once out of Kane's office, not even stopping by his dorm to drop off his bag. He was more likely to run into Dare if he stayed in the castle. No, he wasn't avoiding Dare, but he needed some time to think over everything that had been said between him and Kane. So Michael had went into the forest to the place he had first taken Dare and sat up against the large tree that dominated the clearing.

He leaned back against the tree, pulling his knees up in front of him and opening his sketchbook to an empty page against them. As he pulled out a pencil he was determined not to draw Dare, however much he wanted to, and set the tip to the page. And started to draw Dare. Michael knew he needed to talk to him, however much he didn't want to, and just hoped that he would have something worked out before it happened.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare had looked for Michael in more than a couple places before he'd headed for the forest. He couldn't think of a reason why Michael would need that particular escape, but he hadn't been in the Room of Requirement or by the lake, so it was worth a shot. Dare had paused at the edge of the forest, thinking, then decided to try a particular spot past the treeline. His hunch paid off.

Michael was drawing when Dare found him. He didn't look relaxed, but tense...deep. What was he drawing? Who was he drawing was probably a more likely question. Dare couldn't see the page from where he'd stopped just inside the small clearing. He didn't need to, though. He could feel the tension in the air.

"Michael? You okay?" Dare asked, his hand tightening slightly against his sketchbook. The other hand rose, sweeping his fringe lightly aside, and then he grimaced a bit as it swept back into place, across a vivid red sunburn that stretched down his neck, his shoulders, chest, back, and arms.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

There was half a second where Michael stopped, where time froze before he looked up, fighting back the urge to just come out and say everything. He spent a few seconds taking Dare in, noting the sunburn that he had practically forgotten on his own body, though he knew it would only get worse as the day went on. He crossed his wrists over his knees, hoping to hide any glimpse of the drawing, his memory of how Dare had looked the day before when he had given the same answer, "I'm fine." But he knew that Dare wouldn't accept that, so he continued, "Just didn't sleep well last night."

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare gave Michael a highly assessing look, then nodded. He didn't believe it, not least because of the way Michael was hiding his drawing, but what was he supposed to do? Outright call him a liar? Dare had a bad feeling about this, so he sat down in the spot he'd sat in last time, facing Michael more than sitting by him, and letting Michael keep his drawing to himself. Dare had a feeling he knew who it was. His gaze dropped to his own sketchbook as he sat cross-legged and laid it on his lap. "Why couldn't you sleep?" he asked. Michael could be as fine as he wanted to be, but something was bothering him.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael felt very alone with Dare sitting away from him, even if the distance wasn't really that much, and it only increased his discomfort. He licked his lips and shrugged slightly, "Just thinking about yesterday." He glanced over at Dare before settling to watching his pencil as it moved between his fingers in the air in front of his knees. It was quickly becoming obvious to him that he wasn't going to get out of talking about it, and even if he did he would feel horrible about it afterward.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare nodded, but so much had happened yesterday that it would be impossible for him to pick out of that what was bothering Michael. Was it Anna again? They had talked about that, but what if it was still bothering him? Was it his running at the mouth in front of Emilian? That brief moment after they'd been together in the Room of Requirement didn't occur to him. It had passed quickly, and he'd been so absorbed with sharing his own happiness with Michael that it was all that stuck in his mind when he thought about it. "Do you want to talk about it?" Dare asked, glancing up at Michael. "I mean, you don't have to." When was the last time they'd done this?

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael felt increasingly uncomfortable and he shifted, crossing his arms low over his body. He was feeling a bad mix of embarrassment and discomfort that he could barely think through. "I don't want you to be mad at me," he said softly. He didn't want to hurt him, either, but as he had sat there drawing, Michael had thought it more and more likely that Dare would be angry with him for not telling him the day before.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare let out a long sigh, then shifted, scooting over to sit next to Michael. "I'm not going to be mad at you," he said, keeping his gaze away from Michael's sketchbook. He blinked as a sudden ridiculous fear shot into his mind, and his head drooped slightly as he looked back down at his own sketchbook. His voice was low and shaky as he asked, "You're not...leaving me, are you?" It was too soon! But Anna still loved him, didn't she? So why would his loving Michael keep him?

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael's eyes shot up to Dare and he shook his head, "No, nothing like that, I swear." Though Dare's words made him wonder, could Dare be frustrated with him for what he had done and decide it wasn't worth it? He shook his head again, no, he didn't work that way, and he had said he wouldn't be mad. Pick a time when you're relaxed. Too late. How was Michael supposed to relax when he still felt so bad about it?

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare let out a long breath of relief. "Then it's fine. Whatever it is, it's fine," he assured Michael. Dare raised his head to look at Michael, knowing it was something serious. His hand rose, and caught Michael's against Michael's knee, then threaded their fingers together. If Michael wasn't leaving him, he was sure he could make it through anything else. "You can tell me," Dare said again. He wanted to think about it, to try and figure it out all on his own, but his mind was stuck, and all he could do was wait and hope Michael told him.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael closed his fingers around Dare's hand, taking what he could from it as he tried to figure out where to start and what to say. He tucked his other arm tightly against him and looked down at the book on his knees, though it didn't help to be reminded of how happy Dare had been the day before. "In the Room of Requirement," he said, "When we..." he trailed off, licking his lips. How was he supposed to say it?

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare waited a moment for Michael to go on before his mind caught what Michael was talking about. His eyes widened slightly, then shifted down to their linked hands. He remembered now that look in Michael's eyes after, and he knew it had something to do with that. It looked like Michael was actually going to tell him now. Dare squeezed his hand, lightly encouraging him. "You can tell me," he assured Michael, even if he was worried about what Michael might say.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael shifted uncomfortably and prayed that Dare was thinking about the right part, and that he wouldn't apply what he said to the rest of what they had done. Focus on the good. He tried, but it was just as awkward to think of telling Dare that as telling him it hadn't been right. "I won't say it didn't feel good," he said, his voice low, "Because it did, it felt...and I felt good after..." He didn't want to say it, he wished he had had a day to work it out in his mind, then it wouldn't have been so obvious to Dare that something was wrong.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Thank God for that much, Dare thought, waiting a moment for Michael to go on again. He kept thinking he must have done something wrong, but Michael said it felt good, so it couldn't be that. Could it? Dare glanced up at Michael's face, then back down to their hands again. He tried to think of what he might have done, but he'd asked, hadn't he? He was pretty sure he had. Did he only think he'd asked? "Did I...you were okay with it, weren't you? I mean...Did I ask? I can't remember..." It was embarrassing to admit that, but he'd been so far gone, all he could remember was how good it had felt, and how much he'd wanted more.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael nodded, "You asked...and I agreed." Not for the first time he was brought back to that brief tension he had felt after nodding. His head dropped, letting his hair fall around his face, before he continued. "When I could think..." It sounded so crazy to say that he hadn't even been able to think. "Something wasn't right...it was too much," he ended on a whisper and refused to look up at Dare.