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Post by Chase Firebrand on Aug 17, 2008 13:49:43 GMT -5
He wasn't sick. He didn't get sick. Still, his head felt tight with pressure, and he'd had to rely on a handkerchief more than once in the past couple days. Yes, he knew he shouldn't have been out in that weather so long, but he'd needed it; he'd needed the cleansing feeling of everything being washed out of him.
It had worked for a while, but as the days ticked by, all the tension was returning, and all Chase could think about was Dru, and whether she'd made up her mind, whether he wanted her to. He didn't know. He couldn't even think with his head like this. But he wasn't sick.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Aug 17, 2008 13:56:15 GMT -5
Dru had been looking for Chase, whether she really was looking forward to the encounter or not, but when she had glimpsed him around the corner, she had backtracked a few steps to think. She remembered telling Silver that it would be no big deal to not see him until Wednesday, but she found herself suddenly wishing that she had been able to see him before talking to Chase. She wondered again if she was strong enough to do it, or if she would just end up hurting Silver. Then she shook her head, no, she couldn't do that, that evening with Silver she had been happy.
After a few more seconds she took a deep breath and walked around the corner, chewing furiously on her lip. "Hey Chase," she said when she was closer to him, trying to keep her voice level, and avoided his eyes, her mind going wild with possibilities of what could happen. The night before Dru had talked herself into believing it would be simple, but there, faced with Chase, she saw how much of a lie it was.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Aug 17, 2008 14:03:43 GMT -5
"Hey," Chase returned, his gaze moving reflexively over Dru for one brief moment before settling on her face. She wasn't looking at him, and he couldn't miss the motion of her teeth against her lip. This couldn't be good, and even if Chase had been working to prepare himself for this, it still shot a thread of pain through his chest. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, to kiss her until she couldn't say the words he was dreading, but that wouldn't be fair, and he was tired of wondering if she was with him--as unofficial as it was--just because of the attraction.
He'd been thinking a lot, or as much as he could with his head as fogged over as it was. About Dru, about Anna, and whether the excitement Anna brought was really worth giving up on Dru again. And whether Dru was even attainable in the first place. "How have you been?" Chase asked, hoping fruitlessly for something other than a cool fine.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Aug 17, 2008 14:09:33 GMT -5
"Up and down," Dru answered, wrapping her hands low around the strap of the bag slung across her shoulder. "Been thinking a lot." She couldn't look at him, if she did she probably wouldn't have been able to continue, she pulled all of the good feelings she had had with Silver to the front of her mind, reminding herself why she was doing what she was. "You?" She still couldn't bring herself to say it just yet.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Aug 17, 2008 14:18:50 GMT -5
"Down, mostly," Chase answered. He didn't know what to say, how to form the words that needed said. He wasn't even sure what words needed said. Could he give up Anna? Was there really anything to give up with Anna? The other girls he'd stopped seeing months ago, and he thought, if he gave Dru the words she'd wanted to hear, he could hold himself to them now. "Dru, I...I've been thinking, too." Chase paused, raising one hand a moment to gesture for Dru to wait while he dragged out his hankerchief and sneezed into it, then cursed the foul timing under his breath. He shouldn't do this now, but he couldn't wait any longer, the look on Dru's face told him as much.
Chase regrouped, tried to think again as he tucked his hankerchief away, but it wasn't working, so he just gathered the words and said them. "I want to try again," he said. "I've been thinking about it since before the masquerade. I've been trying and I think I can do it now." Anna was a slip-up, but he told himself he could just tell her no, tell her that he was with Dru, and she'd be okay.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Aug 17, 2008 14:25:27 GMT -5
Dru's eyes closed and her heart stopped, her entire body cringing on the inside at the words that came from Chase's lips. When she finally recovered from the shock and pain, Dru realized that she was shaking her head. "It's too late, Chase," she whispered, her eyes still closed and her head turned from him. She swallowed hard and decided against stealing a glance up at him. Part of her wanted to go and comfort him, since he obviously wasn't feeling the best, but she couldn't let herself get any closer to him because, she knew, he could still make her stop thinking if he wanted to.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Aug 17, 2008 14:33:08 GMT -5
Dread shot through Chase, for all that he'd tried to harden himself against the possibility that this would happen. "No," he said, refusing to admit to himself that he'd even heard Dru's words. "It's not too late. Dru, I've been trying for months, I can do it this time, just give me one more chance. I know you didn't trust me before, but it's different now." It was easy to misinterpret Dru's words, and even if it had occurred to Chase that Dru had already moved on, he'd have refused to believe. She meant that they'd already tried and failed, but he could convince her otherwise. "Just one more chance," he repeated, stepping closer, but refusing again to let himself touch her and sway her that way. "You know how hard this is for me."
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Aug 17, 2008 14:41:36 GMT -5
Dru shook her head again and took in a sharp breath, "I know, I can't do it." It was too much for her, she didn't want to try it, knew she would get hurt, even if Silver wasn't in the picture, even if she wanted so badly to be with him. "I found someone," she said, her breath catching as her voice got softer, afraid of his reaction to those simple words. "It's too late," she repeated, though there was still a part of her screaming to forget Silver and try it, just one more chance.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Aug 17, 2008 14:48:24 GMT -5
Chase's chest tightened painfully, the air knocked out of him with those words. I found someone. "Who?" Chase asked. He needed to know, needed to know who was better than him, or if she was just trying to make him jealous. "Is it that...that guy from the club?" Chase dragged out his handkerchief again, hating himself for the weakness, hating the guy who'd made the last year's pain and trials worthless.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Aug 17, 2008 17:39:56 GMT -5
Dru kept her eyes away from Chase, thinking her silence was enough to answer that particular question, but still, she had to speak. "Don't start anything with him," she said quietly, not caring to have Chase going after Silver. She took in a deep breath to try and keep herself calm when all she wanted to do was run away and try to find Silver. She hoped that, by keeping herself from seeing Chase, she could make it less painful.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Aug 17, 2008 17:49:30 GMT -5
Chase's eyes narrowed and flashed, and he didn't bother hiding it, since she wasn't even looking. "And why would I listen to you?" Chase was working to harden himself, to distance himself from her, working to focus his pain into anger. He knew it wasn't smart baiting her, but he wasn't feeling particularly intelligent.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Aug 17, 2008 18:02:21 GMT -5
"Because I won't go after whoever you end up with," Dru answered, crossing her arms tightly over herself. She couldn't bring herself to look up at him, unwilling to see what he looked like. "I just can't do it anymore," she said, though she knew she had said the same thing before in the Room of Requirement. That thought led to unsafe thoughts, thoughts of what they had done in that Room, how he could make her feel. She forced those thoughts away, or tried to at least, before they convinced her to take back what she had decided.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Aug 17, 2008 18:16:57 GMT -5
"I'm not going to end up with anyone!" Chase said, his voice rising. "I'm not doing this again, Dru. A year! A year I've being trying to be good enough for you, and you just can't do it anymore? And you've known this guy for how long and you're just..." Chase growled with frustration, which set him off coughing into his handkerchief.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Aug 17, 2008 18:30:29 GMT -5
Dru's eyes flicked up at his coughing and she nearly took a step forward, but bit her lip hard and kept herself from moving. "I've waited for a year, Chase, and yes, I can't do it! I tried to overlook things, I tried waiting, I tried, I got tired of it!" She uncrossed her arms and ran a hand through her hair. "I got tired of hoping and wishing for something that you made quite clear wasn't going to happen! You can't expect me to keep that up for any longer than I did." She took a breath and narrowed her eyes slightly at him.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Aug 17, 2008 18:37:59 GMT -5
Chase glared back at Dru as his coughing died down. "What do you think I've been doing the past three months? I told you I wasn't with anyone else, did you think I was doing that for fun? I was doing it for you, because I wanted you and I was trying to be what you wanted!" Chase didn't bother putting away his handkerchief this time. At the least, it was something to keep his nails from digging into his palms.
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