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Post by Druscilla Grace on Jul 21, 2008 11:03:10 GMT -5
"Oh yes, there's a plan," Dru said, rolling her eyes, though it was good-natured. She lightly traced the scar on his chest but moved away from it quickly, remembering his reaction to her touching his shoulder, and continued her idle tracing on his skin. "Is there no other way around it?" she asked, watching her fingers.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Jul 21, 2008 11:20:28 GMT -5
Chase inhaled deeply as he thought about it, releasing the breath as a heavy sigh. "Not as long as my dad's alive," he said. For all his talk about giving everything up, it was likely obvious that it was only talk. He hadn't crossed the line yet, though he'd pushed it to the point of breaking. He'd thought about it, though. Marrying someone who wasn't Pureblood just to spite them and watching them panic as he tainted the Firebrand name. But he knew what he'd be giving up.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Jul 21, 2008 11:44:25 GMT -5
Dru went quiet for a few seconds, thinking about all that must go with being able to live like that. Looking around the room, though, she couldn't bring herself to not like it, to not want it just as much as she always had. "Do you think you'll end up doing it, marrying who they want?" she asked, keeping her eyes glued to her fingers. She had never imagined marrying Chase, the thought of a commitment like that was scary to her, she hoped he didn't take it like that, but the thought that it wasn't even a possibility was worse. The idea of something so important being out of someone's control was terrifying.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Jul 21, 2008 11:49:44 GMT -5
Chase paused, all the possible layers to that question dangerously clear. He had intended to do it, to be honest. Eventually, he figured he would, much like his father, marry someone for the connection, then seek pleasure and companionship where he would. But everything inside him rebelled against telling Dru that. "I don't know," he said at last. He couldn't lie to her, but neither could he tell the truth.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Jul 21, 2008 12:02:23 GMT -5
"If my dad decided to try to do that, I couldn't do it," Dru said. "Maybe I've just read too many books," she shrugged, "But I want to get married to someone I love and connect to." She bit her lip and tilted her head down slightly, feeling as though she were clinging more to him. "You don't care to hear that, though," she said, though she hadn't intended to imply him, or to imply she wouldn't think about him. She pulled her hand from his chest and ran it absently over her hair, they were on dangerous ground.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Jul 21, 2008 12:15:16 GMT -5
Chase hadn't applied Dru's words to him, as lost in his own thoughts as he was. Most of what he got out of what she'd said was that she was, unsurprisingly, one of the naive many who believed in love conquering all. "Love fades," Chase said, though he'd never been in love. "Everything fades." It was far easier to believe in nothing, to not let your hopes rise only to die.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Jul 21, 2008 12:32:06 GMT -5
Dru shook her head, "True love doesn't fade, if it fades, then it wasn't really love." She was convinced of it. She still could say she loved Michael, though it wasn't nearly what it had been, she thought of him like a brother, someone she could look to when she needed someone to talk to. She thought that if she ever found someone she could fall in love with, it would never leave.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Jul 21, 2008 12:47:21 GMT -5
"Love is an emotion, Dru. Emotions fade. Hate fades, connections fade. Nothing lasts forever." All things he believed. "I'm a realist, Dru, and I don't believe that emotions are real. They're a trick of the mind, a pulse of nerves. They control us because we let them, not because they have any power. And they fade." Chase watched the flickering fire from where he lay, the hand wrapped around Dru's back toying with the ends of her hair. He tried not to think of their own connection, of the power it seemed to have over him. Distance was easier. Safer.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Jul 21, 2008 12:56:20 GMT -5
Dru shook her head, her eyebrows coming together as her chest constricted. "No, if that's true, if emotions aren't real, then what's the point of living?" She was surprised at how much it hurt her to hear him talk like that. She tucked her wandering hand under her chin, trying to convince herself that he didn't really believe that, though if he did, it would make it so much easier to make a decision. "You can't tell me that emotions aren't real," she said, shaking her head again.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Jul 21, 2008 13:01:25 GMT -5
"If they were, they'd last, wouldn't they?" Chase asked, thought the question was rhetorical. "If I knew what the point of living was, I'd be doing a hell of a lot better job at it." Chase's jaw tensed again, and his muscles tightened as he stared unseeing into the dancing flames in the fireplace. He didn't want to think any farther on those lines, didn't want to think about how useless his life was.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Jul 21, 2008 13:13:20 GMT -5
"Emotions are real," Dru said. "If they weren't-" she stopped, afraid to make it obviously personal. It was easier to talk about things objectively, but when it was so close to her heart, how could she not bring their situation into play? "If they weren't, then there wouldn't be any reason to hope for this to work. There are emotions between us," she finished softly, practically begging him to say yes or no.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Jul 21, 2008 13:46:41 GMT -5
Chase had parted his lips to say that there was no this, to remind her that he'd made it perfectly clear that first day he'd seen her again in the back room of the club. But before the words had a chance to escape, she'd gone on, and he'd closed his mouth again, unable to argue. He was silent as he thought, as he tried and failed to deny in his own mind, but that was what the connection was, wasn't it? He couldn't seem to make himself give her an answer, though he knew that she wanted one; she always wanted one. He dragged his gaze from the fire, closing his eyes as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his arm tightening around her. He couldn't say the word, but he knew the answer. Yes.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Jul 21, 2008 14:13:34 GMT -5
Dru squeezed her eyes shut at that, feeling a burning in her eyes. She didn't say anything else, however much she wanted to beg him for an answer, for some confirmation that she wasn't just going insane. But wasn't the kiss and the tightening of his arm that? Her hand remained in a fist tucked under her chin, she felt it, she knew it was there, whether he would accept it or not.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Jul 22, 2008 19:24:07 GMT -5
Chase was grateful that Dru didn't pull away, that she didn't demand an answer. For him, his silence, his lack of ability to deny, was an answer in itself, and he felt exposed for it. He didn't think she had any idea the kind of power she could have over him, if she just recognized it, and though he wanted her to know, wanted to ease her mind, he was terrified of the potential of that power. So he remained silent, wrapped around Dru, and hoped that somehow they could go on without his having to put things to words.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Jul 22, 2008 19:33:34 GMT -5
Dru didn't know what to do. She wanted whatever it is that they had, whatever it could lead to and become, but she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to keep going, she was so close to just giving up. The thought of giving up, though, scared her. What if she gave up, only to find that he was the best person for her? that was what scared her the most, stopping before finding out how it would end. "I don't know what to do," she murmured to herself, the words barely a breath, her eyes closed as she tried to figure everything out.
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