Curiosity (Indigo/Jory)

[Jory Addison]

Jory sat in silence, looking down at his mug as the whipped cream swirled into the drink. "Why are you freaking out? You said you've thought of it before, so it didn't come out of the blue," he said. "I'm sorry I'm not more help, I didn't go through this." He tried a smile, even if he knew it wouldn't help to lighten things up much at all.

[Indigo Noble]

"Thinking about something and doing it are so different," Indigo said, dropping his hands. "Muggles think about magic like all the time, and we keep it secret so they don't freak out." Besides, he wasn't freaking out. And he wasn't wondering why Jory had never tried to kiss him, or why it even mattered, or why he didn't just shrug and start making out with guys. He could not believe he'd done that.

"I'm sorry, I'm being an a~hole, aren't I?" He shouldn't have said it out loud. He should have just sat on it, and waited for someone to reply to his damned blog post.

[Jory Addison]

Jory shook his head. "No, you're not, and muggles thinking about magic is different. They can think about it, but they don't have magic, it's not like someone who's bi-curious and totally has the ability to go out and see for themselves," he said. If he was wishing he had found out about this before he graduated, he tried not to think about it. It wasn't something he'd considered as more than a vague idea in the past, but he couldn't help but wonder.

"But trust me, you're not being an a~hole, swear. I mean, I kind of get it, you've gone this long thinking of yourself as straight, and now you might not be...I guess I'd kind of be freaking out, too, if I kissed a girl." Just the thought made him shiver in discomfort.

[Indigo Noble]

Bi-curious. That had never even occurred to Indigo, though if it had, would he have acted on it? Maybe. But he hadn't thought of it. Random thoughts weren't things you acted on. He'd had the random thought to sing in class before, and he'd never done it, because you ignored stuff like that. Now it was like he'd been someone else all along, and too stupid to notice.

"I didn't think about it that much," Indigo said, trying to figure this out. "It was more like... you ever get the random urge to just kiss someone? And it's ridiculous, it doesn't make any sense, and it just passes, and you forget about it. Or you're sitting in a quiet class and you want to just scream, just to see what would happen? But yeah, it doesn't make sense, or it just disappears and you go back to what you were doing. It was like that, sort of."

It was in between somewhere. He hadn't stared at guys, imagining making out with them, but he'd had that random urge out of nowhere to just kiss someone—Jory—and he hadn't, and the conversation had gone on. He'd admired his own flat stomach with its bit of jewelry, but he liked it. Of course he liked it, or he wouldn't have done it.

[Jory Addison]

"I always heard it was like a scale," Jory said. "Like on one side there's totally straight and on the other it's totally gay, and people can fall anywhere on it. So...maybe you're bi, but you just like girls better. Or, you know, you're just curious. When I first came out officially to my friends back home, one of the guys was curious and we fooled around a bit, but now he's been in a relationship with a girl for like three years. Far as I know he's never done anything with another guy."

[Indigo Noble]

That was something Indigo hadn't thought of, and he let it settle in his mind a bit. He'd never gone on an internet adventure researching sexuality, though he'd come across the idea that having those seemingly out-of-place thoughts and passing urges was completely normal. He'd never paid attention to them, never given it real thought until last night.

He went over Jory's words a few times. Maybe bi-curious hadn't been the right word for him before, but he was curious now, right? And if there was a word for it, it didn't necessarily mean he was totally bi. It didn't mean he had to start looking at guys, or that he had to give up on Brindle.

Indigo nodded. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense," he said. "But it's not like, just wimping out or anything, I just... It's weird, that's all."

[Jory Addison]

"If you don't feel comfortable putting a label on it, then don't. If you're really curious and interested, see if Mari's up for trying it out. Just take your time and figure it out, and don't freak," Jory said. He heaved a heavy sigh. "Sadly, I'm all professory now," he said, and he was unable to keep a straight face for long before a teasing grin spread across is lips. "But I can talk, though."

[Indigo Noble]

Indigo flushed at Jory's joke, recognizing it as one, but unable to keep from remembering that he'd sort of admitted to having been drawn to his friend, even if he hadn't understood it or recognized it. "Who leaves school in December, anyway?" he teased back. He closed his blog, then wavered a moment before closing Facebook as well. Take your time and figure it out. Maybe he'd gotten a little worked up over everything, but he thought maybe he could deal with it now.

"That friend," he said after a moment, "the one that you like, fooled around with? You weren't upset or anything, right? Because like, he was just curious?" And he'd ended up with a girl. It seemed wrong to just flat out experiment on someone.

[Jory Addison]

Jory wrinkled his eyebrows down at his near empty mug as he thought. It was a more complicated question than it might have been a few years before. "I used to have a lot of silly romantic ideas and stuff. I looked at my parents and figured that's how most everyone ended up, and they got married right out of school. I know better now," he said, keeping his eyes firmly down.

"When Sean first told me he wasn't into it I was mad. We stopped writing and stuff after he told me he'd gotten his girlfriend. It wasn't like we cut off all at once, it just kind of happened over like a year. I was mad for being used. But I was stupid. We'd never talked about being together and it was just as much experimenting on my part, you know? I'd never done anything with anyone. He'd said he thought he might be and so we'd tried it out. It didn't work and he's straight, I'm not mad at him, I shouldn't have been mad at him in the first place." Once his speech was over, he finally looked up at Indigo again.

[Indigo Noble]

Indigo had just told his computer to shut down and didn't have anything to look at just now, but kept his gaze down all the same. "You think I should just tell him? Mari, I mean. That like, I don't know? If I tell him I'm just trying it out, would that... make it easier?" And how was it that he could talk to guys so easily, and the second he liked a girl, he turned into a mute idiot?

[Jory Addison]

"Yeah," Jory said. "The guy doesn't seem to have anything against casual stuff, so I guess if you talked to him about it he probably wouldn't say no." He thought it would be good for Indigo to try some stuff out and, though he wouldn't say it, maybe it would give him confidence when it came to girls if he had some experience under his belt. So to speak.

[Indigo Noble]

Indigo nodded. Mari had told him that he was just really touchy-feely. He wasn't jumping in a cuddle puddle with Mari and Castiel, though. He had to draw a line somewhere, and it was way before that. "I guess I'll try that." He finally gave up pretending and closed his computer, then moved to tuck it back into his book bag. "Thanks for talking to me."

[Jory Addison]

"Yeah, no problem," Jory said after draining his mug. "Everything'll work out, so don't worry about it. Just have fun, you'll figure it all out. And if you need to talk again just come by or something." That was what friends were for, and he had no problem at all helping out his friends when he could. He didn't like seeing panicky Indigo.

[Indigo Noble]

Indigo nodded and stood up, shrugging into his coat. He'd only drunk about half his butterbeer, but he was ready to head back to Hogwarts. "You going back to school?" he asked, managing a glance at Jory. He hoped so, but he hoped not, and he didn't even know. He wanted to walk with Jory. He did.

[Jory Addison]

Jory stood, as well, pulling on his gloves again. "Yeah, I'd just needed to get out. It kind of sucks not having a common room anymore," he said. "I never thought I'd actually miss the common room." He half smiled. The common room hadn't usually been his first choice to hang out in, but it had been nice to go back to.