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Post by Keith Evans on Dec 23, 2012 20:35:48 GMT -5
"We were talking, Lyric, that's what friends do, they talk about what's bothering them," Keith said, dropping his hand and resisting any attempts to get him out. He narrowed his eyes at Lyric. "Whatever this issue is, it isn't all on me. I'd told you I'd be a friend, and that's what I was trying to do. Maybe I made a bad choice that day, it wouldn't be the first time."
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Post by Trent Frey on Dec 23, 2012 20:42:13 GMT -5
"No, no, no," Lyric said, shaking his head at the complete bullsh~ Keith was spewing. "We weren't friends. Friends talk. Not just me, both people. You told me a lot of sh~ that wasn't true. You told me to go find you at the castle if I needed to talk, then told me to get out because you had someone better over and didn't want me f~ing it up. You knew I wasn't there to f~!"
Fed up, he threw Keith's hand away from him and pushed him instead, both hands against the smaller man's shoulders. He just wanted him out, wanted to stop listening to how all of this was his fault and Keith had been nothing but generous and understanding. It was a mind game he'd seen too many times not to recognize it. Break down someone's confidence and they'll do what you want again, and only blame themselves.
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Post by Keith Evans on Dec 23, 2012 21:18:35 GMT -5
Keith stumbled, then his expression hardened. "I f~ed up!" he said, moving forward to return the push. "I f~ed up, I know I did, okay? I made a s~ty, selfish decision and I regret that I made it. I didn't talk to you, I'm sorry, but don't act like you gave me questions to answer, either! I can't fix what I did wrong."
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Post by Trent Frey on Dec 23, 2012 21:31:35 GMT -5
"I gave you the same f~ing offer you gave me, and I meant it," Lyric barked. He pushed Keith again just to get back for the push he'd gotten, to get out some of the energy that was building faster than he could handle it.
"I told you that you could talk to me, and you didn't. And I did so ask you stuff, and you gave me half-answers and told me not to worry about you and took off, and when you wouldn't talk to me I talked to Matthew, and you got weird. You got weird as soon as I asked you something about you, and took off, and it's my fault I didn't ask you sooner?!"
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Post by Keith Evans on Dec 23, 2012 21:41:09 GMT -5
Keith groaned in frustration and turned away, bringing both hands up to grip his hair roughly. "I didn't want to f~ing talk! The last time, which was also the first time, mind you, I let a man in he owned me. And no, you're not him, I know that, but it's there and I can't help that I'm afraid of it. Just thinking about him makes me feel like I'm some stupid kid again!" He turned to look at Lyric again and dropped his hands from his hair. "I'm sorry!" he said, his voice loud.
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Post by Trent Frey on Dec 23, 2012 21:46:32 GMT -5
Lyric threw his hands up in the air. He didn't get any of this! Keith had only ever just wanted to f~ and nothing else. He'd thrown the word friends around and hadn't acted like one, and hadn't wanted to talk about his ex, and as far as he knew, Keith hadn't wanted him, and now he was bringing the guy up like it was Skylar keeping Keith from wanting him? He didn't understand!
"What do you want from me, Keith?!" Lyric demanded, the words soaked in frustration, confusion and desperation. "What the hell do you want?"
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Post by Keith Evans on Dec 23, 2012 21:57:08 GMT -5
"I don't know, maybe stop acting like I'm supposed to be some f~ing perfect man that knows what to do?" Keith demanded. "Do you have any idea how much he's still there?" He jabbed a finger into his own temple. "Every time I meet a man, every time someone touches me, every time I get close to someone. I want to be a good man but I keep f~ing it up every time I turn around! Because I had him leading me around for two and a half years when everyone else was figuring out how to live in the real world." He was breathing a little harder than normal after that and his glare was barely holding.
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Post by Trent Frey on Dec 23, 2012 22:03:46 GMT -5
"How the hell was I supposed to know?!" Lyric asked. "All I wanted was for you to f~ing make up your mind and stick with it so I know what to do!" He didn't know what to do, he was confused, and as far as he knew, Skylar had come out of nowhere. Keith had come in because he was curious, and he'd said he was sorry, then said he hadn't done anything wrong, then said he'd been selfish, then said Lyric had never tried to get him to talk. Then he'd said that Skylar made him feel like a kid, and Lyric didn't know what to believe. Nothing made sense, everything sounded like half-truths, and he was at a complete loss as to what he was supposed to think.
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Post by Keith Evans on Dec 23, 2012 22:12:49 GMT -5
"You weren't supposed to know! I didn't know, I've never even said any of that before! I don't want anyone to know, I want everyone to think I'm over him and I never think about him, because people look at me like I'm this leper or thing, like they're disappointed in me." Keith looked away from Lyric, feeling suddenly exhausted and exposed. He shouldn't have come here. "I'm sorry I wasn't what you expected me to be."
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Post by Trent Frey on Dec 23, 2012 22:19:52 GMT -5
"What the hell do you think I expected?" Lyric demanded. Like he was able to look down on anyone? "I don't get it, you think people are gonna look down on you for that? You thought I would?" Had Keith completely forgotten who he was talking to?
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Post by Keith Evans on Dec 23, 2012 22:27:18 GMT -5
"I don't know, I guess you'd expect the guy I try to be? How can they not look down on me? He hurt me, he treated me like s~, I shouldn't still be thinking about him. I should have moved on, I shouldn't have stayed with him as long as I did. How can you not look down on me for it?" Keith asked. He shoved his hands in his pockets.
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Post by Trent Frey on Dec 23, 2012 22:31:20 GMT -5
"You're talking to a f~ing ex-junkie!" Lyric said, exasperated. "I'm gonna look down on you thinking about someone? I'm gonna expect everyone to act the same around everyone?" What did Keith not understand? Or was it something he was missing? He understood addiction. He understood putting on a face, and he understood keeping people at a safe distance.
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Post by Keith Evans on Dec 23, 2012 22:40:14 GMT -5
"I'm sorry," Keith said again in a low voice. "I just...I don't know." He reached up and rubbed roughly at his face with both hands. "No one's ever really been okay with it or understood or whatever. They'd look at me and shake their head, tell me to get over it." Okay with it probably wasn't the right way to say it, but it was all he could think.
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Post by Trent Frey on Dec 23, 2012 22:44:42 GMT -5
"That's bullsh~," Lyric said. He took a half step back from Keith, unsure what to do now. Part of him still wanted to be angry, to get out the energy that was increasingly nervous. He wanted to sink himself into his dark room, where everything made sense.
But was this what hadn't made sense before? Was this why Keith had been all over the place, telling him they were friends, they were f~buddies, they could talk, only he should talk, was it just that Keith had thought he'd tell him he was an idiot if he had talked? What did Keith want? What had Keith wanted before? Why the hell was Keith here?
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Post by Keith Evans on Dec 23, 2012 22:51:19 GMT -5
Keith looked over at Lyric again and was silent a few moments before speaking again. When he did, he shook his head. "I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry I bothered you." Part of him felt too exposed to leave now, but he wasn't sure at all what to do. Ah but after saying all of that colud he really just leave?
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