Bumping into each other again cont (Vannah & Ryan)

[Savannah Brooks]

Vannah moved away. His comment still stung like a slap to the face. He's upset, she reminded herself. He doesn't know what he's saying. She grabbed her necklace, decorated with one small pink charm. She twirled it around her finger tightly until her finger started to turn purple. He doesn't know... "You're upset." She said in a low voice. It was all she could do from letting the anger explode inside of her.

[Ryan Magby]

Ryan looked at her "What am I supposed to be? If I would have done this instead of you. If I would have just vanished without any warning, without a single goodbye, and stayed away for a year, while you heard everyone talking about how I killed myself, or had died from some other cause, and then all of the sudden a year later I show up, and not tell you anything about why I left or why I didn't tell you. How would you feel? I have never said that you didn't have a good reason for leaving, but you have not told me a single thing about it. So how the hell am I supposed to feel!?!"

[Savannah Brooks]

Vannah couldn't hold it in any longer. She was too angry to hear most of what he said. "What did you think would happen, Ryan? We would forever be in love and live happily ever after?!" She spat. "Because if I recall, you loved me when you decided to cheat on me the first time! And you still loved me when you cheated on me with my own friend. And the whole time you were engaged to that little prat, you supposedly loved me." Her face had turned a bright shade of red at this point. She ignored the part about not telling him why she left in the first place. Maybe if she ignored it, the question would disappear altogether.

[Ryan Magby]

Ryan looked at Vannah "Yes, I have screwed up, I have done some stupid stuff. None of that takes away from the fact that you thought about NO ONE else when you just left, making people believe you were dead! I can admit my mistakes, and I have admitted them the whole time."

[Savannah Brooks]

"I didn't make anyone believe I was dead!" Vannah argued. "They got it into their tiny little heads that it was the only possible explanation of what had happened." Her voice was sharp enough to cut steel. "You don't understand. I couldn't stay here. I had to think of only myself, if I thought of how people would react, of you then I would not have been able to leave. And I had to leave." She threw her hands up in frustration. She she spoke, her voice got higher and her words were rushed.

[Ryan Magby]

Ryan looked at her "And yet you still don't explain why you had to leave! When you sit there and talk about how you had to leave without telling why, you just look like a selfish..." He stopped himself before finishing the sentence. He was very angry but he didn't want to make things worse by saying something he would regret. He sighed "Whatever. If you don't want to tell me fine!" he said standing up and looking away as tears started streaming down his face again.

[Savannah Brooks]

Vannah opened her mouth to challenge him to finish that statement, but something in his voice made her stop. She knew she would have to talk about it sooner or later, but she was hoping it would be later rather than sooner. It wasn't anything she talked about out loud, at least not to anyone besides the grief counselor she was forced to see. She sucked in a great our of air. It was best to start at the beginning, before she left. "I was pregnant." She started and let all of the air in her lungs out in one great huff.

[Ryan Magby]

Ryan turned around slowly and looked at her "What?" he asked. He was speechless. He couldn't understand how until he remembered what had happened. He went back over to her and sat in front of her, not knowing what to say.

[Savannah Brooks]

"After that---After I was---After he---" Vannah couldn't finish. "A couple months after, I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't handle it." She said bitterly. "How could I have a child, his child, after---I couldn't." One tear dropped. "I had to do something about it." Another tear dropped. Vannah was shaking now. She couldn't say what had happened, couldn't admit that she would do something so terrible. "So...I..I..." She couldn't say it. Instead, her head gently glided up to her stomach, over the E that still stood out beneath the scars she had given herself.

[Ryan Magby]

Ryan put his hand on her hand, feeling extremely bad about being mad at her now. "I am so sorry Vannah. I had no clue..." his voice trailed off, having nothing that he could say that would be of any help to her right now.

[Savannah Brooks]

Vannah held up her other hand to stop him. "No, you don't understand." She said, shaking her voice. "I tried to live with it. For a few months, but I couldn't bear the thought of having that demon baby. So I had to get rid of it." She struggled to keep the memory of that terrible day when she had killed her own unborn baby. It wasn't you fault. She told herself. You were depressed. He did it to you. Those few months were vivid in her mind. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't let anyone near her, she had cut herself off from everyone. "I still heard about him in the Daily Prophet. And everything I saw reminded me of it. Of what I had done. Of what could have been."

[Ryan Magby]

Ryan looked at her "Vannah, it was nothing that you did. You didn't ask for any of that." he said, not knowing how else to put it. He had no way of knowing any of what she was going through

[Savannah Brooks]

Vannah laughed bitterly. If it wasn't her fault, why was she the one who had to deal with all of the consequences? She hugged her knees into her chest and rested her chin on top of her knees. She stared at the lake, hoping its beauty would distract her mind from the horrible memories she seemed to be reliving. She bit her lip and didn't saying else. It seemed like the more she talked about it, the worse she felt.

[Ryan Magby]

Ryan looked at her "Vannah, it was not your fault. He did it. It was his fault." he said and sighed. He wished he could find something to say that would help her at all.

[Savannah Brooks]

Vannah closed her eyes. and began to hum to herself. She realized the song she was singing was a lullaby and she immediately stopped. "It's not your fault, either, you know." She said looking at him. She was trying desperately to change the subject. "It's not your fault your parents are getting a divorce, not your fault that your dad's having surgery."