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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 17, 2010 1:20:18 GMT -5
I'm happy, Ariel. Ariel couldn't quite believe that, at least not fully. "If you were happy, you wouldn't be acting like this," he said. If Markise was happy and wasn't bored, then he wouldn't want to go clubbing so badly. One hand brushed lightly against Markise's arm before he pulled it back to himself. "Am I doing something wrong? Am I not doing something?" He couldn't have messed up again already. What if he had?
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Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 17, 2010 1:27:09 GMT -5
Markise looked up at Ariel, his brows drawing lightly together, then turned to wrap his arms loosely around him. "No, you're amazing, I just... I need to get out sometimes, I need a social life. It was fine in New York." He'd gone out with his friends all the time, and when both of them hadn't gone, he'd had Ariel to come home to. But he hadn't spent weeks on end going back and forth between work and the apartment. He'd have gone stir crazy!
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 17, 2010 1:44:09 GMT -5
"I wish you had told me," Ariel said after watching Markise suspiciously for a few moments, then resting his hands lightly on Markise's hips. "If you need to go out..." If that was what Markise needed, then they could do so, it didn't matter that Ariel couldn't feel the same sense of being locked up as Markise felt. He wanted Markise to be happy.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 17, 2010 2:02:38 GMT -5
"What, we'll go to London?" Markise asked. "Walk into Popstarz and leave sober? It's not gonna happen. You're amazing, but I don't trust either of us that much." It wasn't an insult, it was the blunt truth. If they watched each other every second, it wouldn't be what he needed, and if he didn't, they'd both f~ up. He didn't want to give Ariel a chance to test whether he could resist f~ing someone in a back room for drugs. His drinking was secondary. The only time he'd slipped up was when Ariel was in the hospital, and he hadn't even gotten drunk. A club would be entirely different.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 17, 2010 2:07:21 GMT -5
Ariel felt helpless. He wanted to be able to promise that nothing would happen to either of them if they went, but he couldn't bring himself to believe it any more than Markise. He wanted to, though. "There has to be something," he said. "There's that club in Diagon Alley." There would still be drinks, but the chances of muggle drugs being there were much lower. He didn't want Markise to be miserable, or to start being miserable.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 17, 2010 15:42:45 GMT -5
"What club in Diagon Alley?" Markise asked, confused. There was the one in Hogsmeade, but the only other wizarding club he could think of was the one they'd all taken the Knight Bus to and from for DareandMichael's party. He figured that was the one Ariel meant, and he tried to think quickly of reasons why they couldn't. It had been so much fun, though!
"I don't think they'd let me dance on the tables there," he managed. It was half tease, but there was so much more meaning to it than that. Temptation would still be there, and Ariel got pissed off every time he found his way up to dance for more than one person. He couldn't imagine Ariel handing him off to someone else to dance, anyway. "This is why I never said anything, there's not an answer," he said.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 17, 2010 16:00:06 GMT -5
Ariel was quiet as he tried to figure out what to say. He wanted Markise to be happy, though it was so hard to think about going. He searched Markise's face for a few moments before he spoke softly. "We could try," he said. He didn't know how good they would do, but it was worth a shot, wasn't it? Surely if they could keep each other out of trouble.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 17, 2010 16:19:41 GMT -5
Markise held Ariel's gaze steadily, a threat growing in his own far more than any excitement he might be repressing. He was silent for some long moments, wanting to say no again, wanting to demand he go on his own. He couldn't stand to see Ariel dance with someone else! He knew how hypocritical it was to want to dance with someone else and be so pissed and so terrified at the thought of seeing Ariel touching some other guy, even if it didn't go anywhere. The threat faded from his eyes, but it was replaced with a sense of insecurity that he couldn't shake.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 17, 2010 17:16:36 GMT -5
Ariel wasn't thinking about either of them dancing with someone else, he was thinking about helping Markise. "What is it?" he asked, unsure of what could be going through Markise's mind. Were they going to be going to a club after half a year of avoiding anything that could cause a relapse? Well, other than the one time, anyway.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 17, 2010 20:26:04 GMT -5
"I can't do it," Markise said. "I know I'm being a hypocritical d~, but I'm not going to watch you dance with other guys." The rest he left unsaid, and hoped fervently that Ariel wouldn't hear anyway. How can I be Angel if I'm with you all night? He broke his gaze away, dropping it to the tattooed skin of Ariel's shoulder. His hand shifted to trace the lines and shapes.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 17, 2010 20:32:56 GMT -5
"I wouldn't want to dance with other guys, anyway," Ariel said, though he was reminded of what Markise had said earlier. He had said that he missed having everyone want him. People could want him just as much when they were dancing together, couldn't they? He really doubted he would be able to stand by and watch some other guy put his hands on Markise.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 17, 2010 21:08:10 GMT -5
Markise looked up at Ariel, surprised and unable to keep himself from trying to judge whether Ariel was lying. "So it'd just be us," he said, hoping he didn't sound disappointed. He didn't really want to be with anyone else, but he wanted to know he was still wanted. His looks had been his saving grace for so long that the complete lack of positive attention he got for it, aside from Ariel, was depressing. His exercise routine never varied because he was never paying penance, and he could go on automatic half the time. The other half of the time he was catching Ariel and dragging him off for a taste of the adrenaline he needed. He didn't know how to say it, and he couldn't think of a solution. He was tempted to offer to take Jory after all, but he knew he'd never pull it off without Ariel knowing, and he couldn't lie to him anyway.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 17, 2010 21:57:29 GMT -5
Ariel searched Markise's eyes, unsure of what to take from that. "You don't want that?" he asked softly. He was happy with Markise, he was fine not dancing with anyone else. Was Markise different? He didn't want to imagine Markise dancing with someone else. Maybe he was doing something wrong, even though Markise said he wasn't.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 17, 2010 22:13:00 GMT -5
Markise was so sick of this conversation! He hadn't wanted it in the first place, and now Ariel was being all soft and sensitive. It was unnerving, and it didn't help the tension that had only built since Ariel had started asking questions. They'd worked so hard to get to this point, and it was driving him crazy! "I'm suffocating," Markise said, wanting to push Ariel's buttons, to get some kind of reaction from him besides soulful eyes and gentle questions. He hated that he wanted it, but he felt like he was going to scream otherwise. He wriggled out of Ariel's arms and slipped away. "I can't leave my shop open, break time's over."
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 17, 2010 22:26:37 GMT -5
"Markise!" Ariel reached out to grab Markise's hand. He was different than he had been for the first half of their fragmented relationship, but then, he had changed, in both his attitude and his thoughts. He wasn't so convinced that he was worthless and he wasn't convinced he had to try to push Markise away, anymore. "What can I do?" He knew that Markise needed different things than he did, but he hadn't realized something was so wrong.
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