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Post by Chase Firebrand on Feb 4, 2010 2:28:25 GMT -5
There had been an intensity even beyond the norm this time, a sense of desperation that Chase couldn't hide. Part of him wanted to, but he was growing accustomed to the stark honesty between them at times like this, the wide opening of floodgates that held emotions he didn't recognize and couldn't understand. He wanted so badly right now to simply refuse to leave the room, to hold onto this little fantasy for longer.
Chase lay heavily back on the fine sheets on the Master Suite bed, his brows drawn together as he tried not to think about everything. He wanted to feel right now, and for the rest of it to disappear. He knew that Dru would notice, that she'd feel a difference, but told himself that she wouldn't know what it was. He could relax for a time and he could work it into the conversation which usually followed.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Feb 4, 2010 2:37:07 GMT -5
Dru had learned to accept what they had, even if it rarely left the Room of Requirement. She rarely let herself think of the future or of the past, at least back past when they had started over. Still, she couldn't help but notice the subtle difference in this time over the others as she rested in the fine cloth against Chase. She didn't ask, at least not immediately, and brought her hand up to trail her fingers lightly against his cheek and jaw. Her eyes spoke the question, giving him leave to ignore it, though he knew she wouldn't completely let it go without some sort of answer.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Feb 4, 2010 2:43:00 GMT -5
That touch against his face drew Chase's gaze down, and his eyes caught on Dru's. A spark shone in the red-brown, a blatant tell that something was on his mind. He blinked and looked away, up past the flags above the bed which bore the family crest, up past architecture that had seen generations of Firebrand men, to an innocuous sky visible through the skylight. Or at least the appearance of a skylight. The room was an extraordinary liar.
"You don't want to know," Chase said quietly. "I should tell you..." But he didn't want to say the words any more than he knew she would want to hear them.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Feb 4, 2010 2:47:08 GMT -5
A sense of dread washed over Dru, but she refused to tell him that it was okay and that he didn't have to tell her, she also refused to let it show any more than necessary. "Tell me," she urged, her voice matching his. She couldn't imagine anything that would ruin her...well, she could, but she didn't want to think about those things. Her hand smoothed down his neck to his chest.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Feb 4, 2010 2:52:33 GMT -5
Chase closed his eyes tightly, but he couldn't say the words like that. He couldn't take the easy way and speak into the safety of darkness. After a moment he opened them again, but the ceiling far above taunted him. This is your life, your duty. He hated it. He'd never been satisfied knowing that his life was mapped out for him and it was no easier now, with things in motion. Nothing like Dru was supposed to have featured into things. "She's picked a date," he said softly. He gave the date in a near whisper, then quieted. He could have told her when they'd met in the corridors tonight, but he'd needed these moments together first.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Feb 4, 2010 2:56:17 GMT -5
That hit Dru hard, harder than she had expected it to. She had known that this would happen eventually, eventually. To be faced with a date was completely different. Her eyes closed as she tried to work through the thoughts it brought rushing her mind. "That's too soon." It could have been ten years in the future and it would have been too soon.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Feb 4, 2010 3:02:28 GMT -5
"I know," Chase murmured. He brought his arm up lightly behind Dru, touching her skin and reminding himself that she was here. If she left, if she changed her mind and walked out, he wanted to have had as much time like this as possible. "I'm graduating, that's all we were waiting for." It wouldn't have looked good to marry during school. He wouldn't have been able to support her properly, but she was nearing an unmarriageable age, and though he was young, little would be said of it. He was doing his duty, and at a far younger age than most Firebrand males. It would put him yet again into a favorable light marrying her. He'd only needed to finish school.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Feb 4, 2010 3:07:32 GMT -5
Dru closed her eyes tightly and buried her face against Chase. Her arm moved around him, perhaps in some pathetic way trying to keep him here, hers. She had known this would happen, though she had worked hard to push it back and pretend she didn't care. It was easy to pretend when this....woman was so far away. "Fail, then," she said, nearly begging. She felt so childish asking that, but how else could she stop it?
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Feb 4, 2010 3:23:56 GMT -5
"I can't, Dru," Chase returned, the desperation he'd felt showing through in his voice now, however low he spoke. "I've done the coursework, and I should have taken my N.E.W.T.s years ago." He couldn't prolong graduation another year, and if he did somehow manage to screw up enough to not graduate, he'd likely be expelled. He didn't want to imagine the hell his life would be then.
He searched his mind for the arguments he'd thought of, any silver lining he could grasp. "When it's done, I can buy you that house, the canopy and the cats, and in another year or two I can give you a family if you want it." When he had an heir, which he prayed would happen the first time. He didn't need a spare. One son and Carolynn could be free, and he could be free. They could keep appearances and do as they wished.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Feb 4, 2010 3:30:01 GMT -5
Dru shook her head, wondering how she had ever thought she could just take it and be content. She hadn't, really, she had just refused to think about it. "I don't think I can do it," she said. In the end, love was selfish, wasn't it? Hadn't she read that somewhere? It would all be more than bittersweet, for her to have everything she could ever want, only for the one she wanted to be married to someone else.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Feb 4, 2010 10:35:43 GMT -5
Chase's angry gaze toward the ceiling unfocused and for a moment he felt a horrible sense of déjà vu, a harkening back to that day so long ago that Dru had walked out of this very room, though it had been disguised as his bedroom then. "Don't say that," he whispered. He'd already lost her, just when he'd been ready to be what she wanted him to be, and against everything, somehow they were together again. Without her, what would he have? Carolynn, he answered himself. Status. Money. Creature comforts. Why did that feel empty?
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Feb 4, 2010 12:55:08 GMT -5
Dru shook her head again, "I don't want to leave." And she didn't, she really didn't want to leave him ever again. "I just don't want to lose you." It would feel like she was losing him, to know that someone else had his last name. Even if she was able to see him every single week, it wouldn't make her forget.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Feb 4, 2010 13:01:04 GMT -5
"You won't lose me," Chase said, looking down at Dru's hair against him. "It's the only way I can give you what you want. I'll be with you as much as I can." He had to do his duty first, though. To get the money and respect, the power he'd need to give Dru what she wanted and deserved to have, he had to please his father. He had to marry Carolynn, and she'd picked a date!
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Post by Druscilla Grace on Feb 4, 2010 13:07:39 GMT -5
"But I want you." All of those things Chase had promised her were amazing and she still wanted them, but if she had the chance Dru would give all of it up. She picked her head up to steal a glance at him, only to tuck her head against him again before her eyes could start to burn. It would be amazing to have that dream life she had always wanted, but she no longer thought it was worth it.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Feb 4, 2010 16:57:55 GMT -5
It took Chase a moment to decipher Dru's words, to figure out why she was still insisting she wanted him when she had him. It took him back to the beginning, when she'd wanted him to choose her over every other girl he knew, back to when she'd been so pissed that she couldn't call him her boyfriend. "There's nothing I can do about that," he said. "It's the way things are." It was the way things had always been, the way he'd always known they would end up. He was marrying for power and politics, to further the Firebrand line.
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