Fallen

[Markise Sterling]

Markise wasn't even aware of how miserably wiped out he looked. His mind never once touched down on his finger-raked hair, red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes, or the tear tracks dried on his cheeks. He was trying to numb himself again an doing a piss-poor job of it.

He had to talk to Mano. Mano was the only one he could tell anything to without being judged. The worst he'd ever gotten was a curious look and a request for an explanation.

Markise knocked on the apartment door, the sound a bit irregular from the lack of attention he'd given the motion. He just needed someone to talk to, and that someone was not Ariel.

[Mano Berwyn]

Mano came quickly to the door, not that he had been doing anything overly important, anyway. When he opened it, he immediately stepped aside to let in Markise, who looked much worse than he had ever seen him look. "I take it you've had a bad day," he said, raising his eyebrows as he took in everything from Markise's hair to his eyes to just the way he was holding himself. "Come in."

[Markise Sterling]

Markise only just registered the arch of Mano's eyebrows as he walked into the apartment, and one hand reflexively swept up to push his hair into some semblance of order. He nodded, unsure where to really begin for some moments before he just said it.

"I walked in on my boyfriend shooting up," he said, then explained, "f~ing disgusting Muggle drugs. And he told me I couldn't have stopped it from happening, and he told me he was going to mess up and I'm not supposed to mess up. It's fine for him to do f~ing Muggle drugs, but I'm not supposed to have a glass of f~ing wine!"

[Mano Berwyn]

Mano's eyebrows remained raised as he shut the door behind Markise. "Well that isn't fair, now, is it?" he asked. He wasn't at all positive who Markise's boyfriend was, but it was a safe guess to assume it was Ariel. Mano wasn't really surprised at what had happened, the boy was a whore. "Would you like a glass?" he asked, "It'll calm your nerves."

[Markise Sterling]

Markise wrapped his arms around himself and nodded definitely. "Yes," he said gratefully. He'd tried to think about it on the way here, to decide whether he even wanted to carry through on his threat, and hadn't come to any decisions. But at Mano's offer, it hadn't been about the threat at all. He needed a drink, and Ariel couldn't say a damned word about it His running count of exactly how many months, weeks, and days he'd been sober didn't do a thing to change his mind. He'd worked his ass off for Ariel, and Ariel had thrown it away again. "I can't stop seeing him when he did it," Markise said.

[Mano Berwyn]

Mano gestured to one of the couches for Markise to sit and went to the cabinet where he kept wine. He pulled out a bottle and two glasses before turning back to sit. "Well that's perfectly understandable," he said, pouring the wine. "I mean, that is a horrible, horrible betrayal." Not that he had any personal experience with that kind of thing. "So tell me what happened."

[Markise Sterling]

Markise sniffled lightly, then moved to sit, frowning. "I got to the shop after school and he wasn't working so I went looking for him, and he was sitting in the bathtub with a..." Markise couldn't say it. He shook his head, and it took him a moment to pick back up on his train of thought. "So I firecalled St. Mungo's and they sent mediwizards and took him away, and the police started asking me questions, like it was my fault!" He was crying again, he could feel it, and he hated it. He hated all of this.

[Mano Berwyn]

Mano handed Markise a glass and shook his head, "It wasn't your fault. He should have known better." He put his arm up along the back of the couch and eyed Markise. It was highly inappropriate, but he couldn't help but think this was a perfect opportunity. Still, he was willing to sit and listen to and talk with Markise about this.

[Markise Sterling]

Markise was far too caught up in his immediate problems to think about how close Mano was. They'd sat together before and just talked, and it felt better than anything else that had happened in the past unknown hours.

"Nothing's ever f~ing his fault," Markise went on, staring down into his glass. "I should've expected him to f~ someone else for money the first time we went out 'cause he's broke and he'd never been around gay guys before me, and I shouldn't have been surprised he turned into a f~ing druggie because he's always been miserable and it felt good, and I shouldn't have been surprised he f~ing did it again, because he told me like months ago he'd f~ing hurt me if we got together. So I guess he's f~ing happy now," he finished bitterly.

Markise paid no attention to his language, to the fact that he couldn't have been sure he'd ever really cussed in front of Mano before. He'd never had to switch his speech back for school and Dare, and in truth, he wasn't thinking much. He didn't spare a thought for his first sip of wine in eighty-seven days, but tipped the glass against his lips and closed his eyes against the false warmth that pooled in his stomach.

[Mano Berwyn]

"If he's going to do this kind of thing to you, then you shouldn't be with him," Mano said. From what Markise said, the guy wasn't worth it. It wasn't even a first offense, it was something that had happened time and time again. He was only marginally surprised at Markise's language. From his point of view, it was completely understandable that Markise would be acting a little off.

[Markise Sterling]

Markise made no argument either for or against Mano's statement. He shouldn't be with Ariel, and he'd known it almost from the beginning. That hadn't stopped him from wanting him, hadn't stopped him from forgiving Ariel everything every time he'd made the slightest attempt to be decent again.

"I thought he'd changed this summer," he admitted softly. "After the last time, after he got out of the hospital and they gave him rehab or something, he was so nice. He always tries to help me even when he's a complete d~ about it and even when I hate him for it and he was so perfect this summer. I didn't want to come back..." That started the tears again, and Markise wiped them away to take another long drink of wine. He realized he hadn't eaten, and suddenly getting really drunk really fast sounded amazing.

[Mano Berwyn]

"Maybe he did change. Is there any chance this was just a mess-up?" Mano asked, though he doubted Ariel would ever be worthy of anything, considering his past. "Did he say anything?" He didn't know about it at all, didn't know if Ariel had some pathetic excuse for the way he acted. But if Markise hadn't wanted to come back at the end of the summer, then Ariel must have been doing something right.

[Markise Sterling]

"He said sorry, but I could tell he didn't mean it. And he said I told you I was going to mess up and I'm better than him and don't leave, but I don't want to watch him kill himself!" He shook his head firmly, the tears continuing, if fewer and farther between. "I thought I could just pick him up and be fine if he did this, but I can't! He takes everything I have." And he probably took everything Ariel had, but Ariel had a free pass to screw up whenever life got to be too much.

[Mano Berwyn]

Mano let his hand slip to Markise's shoulder in what could have been a comforting gesture. "No one ever said it was easy," he said, giving a small shrug. There was a reason he was firmly avoiding any attempts from his family to push him toward marriage. He shifted and took a drink from his glass, letting his eyes move away from Markise for a few moments before focusing on him again. "If it's too much for you, then don't force it, leave."

[Markise Sterling]

Markise pouted for a moment, though he didn't want to. He wanted to enjoy the comfort Mano was offering, to lean against him and just cry. But he was forcing himself to think, and the wine wasn't helping quickly enough. He drained his glass.

He was quiet again, but not for long. "I need to stay," he said. "If I can help him, I should. No one else is gonna try, and if I could help and I didn't try, then it's my fault, too." It was why he'd offered to take Ariel to New York with him. Liking him again came later, when they were talking all the time.