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Post by Markise Sterling on May 30, 2009 12:20:38 GMT -5
Markise didn't break the silence that stretched between them. He had a feeling that if he pushed it much further, he'd end up pushing for things that shouldn't happen. But why not? Life seemed pointless, and no matter what he did, everything fell apart. When was the last time he'd been happy? Markise closed his eyes to think. It had to have been been some time that last night at the club when he'd been drunk. But what about before then? What about sober? He wasn't sure.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 30, 2009 12:30:49 GMT -5
Ariel didn't want to think about being happy or about the way things were supposed to be. He didn't want to think about how good it felt to sit with Markise like this. So he didn't. He just let himself enjoy what he could while he could and watched the smooth water of the lake. How often would this happen during the summer? He couldn't imagine it would be often, but it was hard to keep himself from hoping it did.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 30, 2009 12:55:50 GMT -5
The continued silence did nothing to bring Markise out of his dangerous thoughts. He kept wondering why he was holding back. He knew what Ariel had done, but why did it matter? Why did anything matter? Markise breathed in deeply, distantly enjoying the freedom that line of thinking gave him. Then he opened his eyes and watched as he settled his hand lightly against Ariel's stomach.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 30, 2009 13:11:37 GMT -5
Ariel looked down and reached for Markise's hand with his free one. They needed to be careful. They couldn't just go around and do this. "Do you want to start out the summer like that?" he asked finally. He knew how easily everything could get too much for them, how quickly they could start doing things they really shouldn't. And this was how it started.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 30, 2009 13:24:57 GMT -5
Markise's brows drew together. "You already asked me that," he pointed out. And last time it had stopped him. "Why not? It's pointless anyway." His fingers moved lightly for now, but didn't go anywhere just yet. Part of him still realized how stupid it would be and how much could go wrong. The rest of him was sure this would help! He'd feel so much better, and they could just pretend it hadn't happened like the last time.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 30, 2009 13:39:58 GMT -5
Ariel closed his eyes and shook his head. "We're going to be stuck together all summer," he said. "I don't want to be miserable." And they were always miserable afterward. It may not happen the next day, maybe not the week after, but something would happen and it would only be made worse because they had done something together recently.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 30, 2009 13:52:48 GMT -5
Markise pouted, but didn't argue. He didn't want to fight with Ariel, and if he pushed, they'd fight. He didn't pull away, didn't draw his hand back, but let it stay where it was, enjoying the contact even if Ariel was being a stick in the mud. He had to do something, he couldn't wait another day, it was driving him crazy. He'd been to this point of desperation before and had taken it out on Mano only to feel lost the next morning. But lost was so much better than this.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 30, 2009 14:00:46 GMT -5
Ariel felt a twinge of guilt but immediately pushed it down. Right now, he needed to focus on not letting himself get back to where he had been. Stopping completely like he had was probably the only way to get himself to stop, and he knew it. If he let himself do anything with Markise...he didn't want to take any chances. "I'm sorry," he said softly, glancing down at Markise before looking out at the lake again.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 30, 2009 14:18:06 GMT -5
Markise shook his head lightly "It doesn't matter," he returned. He didn't want to think anymore, it was driving him crazy! He wanted to forget for a while, to just let go, and he couldn't do that here. It took him a while to finally pull away, but he did, with a promise to see Ariel again later.
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