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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 25, 2009 17:34:10 GMT -5
Ariel blinked himself out of his thoughts and shook his head. "This summer's going to be an adventure, to say the least," he said. He didn't know how it was going to end up or if it would be a good or a bad thing in the long run. He didn't think he would be miserable, and he hoped Markise wouldn't be. In a way, he was even looking forward to the chance.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 25, 2009 17:40:39 GMT -5
Markise had to agree, though he wasn't at all sure what kind of adventure it would be. He'd intended to just go home, get a job, and get on with life, but this was going to change things so much. Ariel had already been a huge part of where he was now, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Things could and often did change between them in a flash. They had a whole summer to screw their lives up even worse or maybe manage to fix something. Markise was so used to failure now that he couldn't help being afraid. "I'll write my mom today," he said. The sooner he answered her questions, the sooner she could find an apartment.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 25, 2009 17:54:52 GMT -5
Ariel nodded, "Okay, what do you think she'll say about bringing me?" He knew how his brother would react, but he had nothing to base a reaction from Markise's mother off of. He couldn't imagine that any parent would be happy and completely supportive of their son's decision to bring someone back with him to share an apartment, especially if that son was gay.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 25, 2009 18:15:46 GMT -5
Markise thought about it a second before answering. "She'll probably say something like, if I'm sure that's what I want she won't stop me. My mom's a pushover." It was his dad he wondered about. His dad had never liked it, and Markise still wasn't sure if his acceptance had been resignation or his mom actually standing up for something. They'd shared that long look when he'd told them, then Mama had hugged him and gone to get dinner out of the oven.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 25, 2009 18:20:59 GMT -5
Ariel shifted his weight to rest more on the wide windowsill and stared absently at a stone in the floor. "What was it like to come out to your parents?" he asked, giving Markise a quick glance before turning his eyes back to the floor. He didn't know, and he would never know, what it was like to come out to someone that had known him for any length of time.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 25, 2009 18:36:45 GMT -5
Markise swept his fingers through his hair again as he turned to look both ways down the corridor. He paused a moment, listening, but couldn't hear a sound, so he turned back to Ariel, lowering his voice for just the two of them. "If they didn't already know, they were close enough. I think I kind of just... confirmed or something." He began twisting that lock of hair again. "I was scared sh~less sitting there with them and Brin expecting me to say something important, I guess. So I just said it, and like... no one yelled, and no one tried to murder me, it was just... quiet." Markise turned to lean back against the wall beside Ariel, looking unseeing down the corridor.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 25, 2009 18:41:31 GMT -5
Ariel stayed oddly still as he tried to imagine it. It was pointless trying, though, when he knew exactly how his brother would have reacted. He didn't remember his mother, and only had flashes of memory of his father. He couldn't imagine that his father's reaction would have been any better. If he had tried to come out...he didn't know if he would have made it this far. It had been hard enough with just his name being a target, and then his incompetence with that one girl had become a hot topic...
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 25, 2009 19:12:01 GMT -5
"I know I was really lucky," Markise went on, just as softly. School hadn't gone nearly as smoothly. And he never would have guessed that it could get that bad. His brows drew together and he tried to shake off the thoughts. He wasn't going through that here, and there was only a short time left until he could go home. To New York, at least. Then he wouldn't have to worry about it for months.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 25, 2009 19:23:07 GMT -5
"I wish sometimes that I wasn't," Ariel admitted. He wished it more often than he would probably admit to, though it wasn't as common a thought now as it had been before he had started going to the clubs. "But it's impossible to change." And he had tried so very hard. Out of everyone he knew, he was the one that ended up being gay, he wished it had avoided him just like it avoided everyone else.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 25, 2009 19:52:51 GMT -5
Markise looked aside at Ariel, trying not to think of any times he might have been desperate enough to think the same thing. "I just wish people weren't such closed-minded, hypocritical bigots," he said. There was a lot worse he could say, but that summed it up without getting him pissed enough to go on a rant. "They're the ones that need to change." But that was impossible, too.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 25, 2009 19:59:48 GMT -5
"There's a lot fewer of us," Ariel pointed out. It felt bad saying it, but if someone came up to him with a potion that would change it, he couldn't say that he would turn them down. He looked down at his shoes. "Life would be a lot easier if I wasn't like this." It was useless to try to change himself, though, he had given up soon after meeting Markise.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 25, 2009 20:11:58 GMT -5
Markise shook his head. "I wouldn't be me if I was different," he said firmly. "Even if I'm a complete f~up, I like myself. I don't even want the things straight people want. I don't want to live in the suburbs with some white picket fence, two kids and a dog. I don't want to be useless unless I can carry on the family name. F~ the family name, I want a man." He hoped it sounded more lighthearted than it felt, but it was all true.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 25, 2009 20:18:24 GMT -5
Ariel looked over at Markise and stared at him for a moment, then went back to staring at his shoes. "I have even less of a chance of doing something with my life when and if I really decide to come out than I did back in Australia." It was hard enough fighting back up the ladder after being where he and his brother had been, and the wizarding stigma against homosexuality was even worse than the muggle's, as far as he could tell. "It's like fate had all this crap left over and pointed at me to give it to." And now he was a recovering druggie and prostitute. He didn't think it got much worse.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 25, 2009 20:24:21 GMT -5
Markise looked aside at Ariel again. "You can either spend your life hating fate, or you can do something about it. You're finishing school, aren't you?" He asked. "Don't even bring up what already happened. That's what starting over is for. We're getting away from this hell for a while, and when we come back, we'll graduate." He knew it would be harder than that, but he had to have some hope or he'd break all over again.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 25, 2009 20:30:18 GMT -5
Ariel looked back at Markise and for a while didn't drop his eyes. When he finally did, he didn't speak. And what after graduation? What would happen to him then? He had no idea what he wanted to do, there wasn't anything that really peaked his interest. He liked to run and swim, but there wasn't much in the way of jobs for something like that. And he didn't really have anything else. He was good in school, but that was because he was good at keeping up with his work and spitting out information.
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