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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 21:01:21 GMT -5
"The other night shouldn't have even happened," Ariel said softly. Not that it hadn't been wonderful, something that he would remember for a lifetime, he couldn't let it happen again, shouldn't have let it happen in the first place. "I..." but he was losing his arguments. They were slipping out of his head one by one as Markise spoke. "It doesn't feel like I'm supposed to do anything like that!"
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 21:09:50 GMT -5
Tears sprang into Marksie's eyes. Shouldn't have even happened. "I was glad it happened! For once in a f~ing year I felt like someone understood, like someone..." Like someone cared. He cut himself off and folded his arms across his chest, trying again. "Fine," he said, defeat heavy in the word. "I can't make you like me. If you can't talk to me, then f~ing quit." He took off toward the castle, struggling to hold onto his pride.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 21:14:00 GMT -5
Ariel told himself that that was what he had been aiming for the entire day, that he had wanted Markise to leave. Instead of leaving, though, he found himself catching up with Markise, found himself taking Markise's arm in his hand. "Markise..." What was he planning on saying? It wasn't like he could fix it. He didn't even want to fix it! "That night was amazing, really it was, but...but Markise I feel dirty for it! I shouldn't have let it happen!"
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 21:24:09 GMT -5
Markise turned sharply to look at Ariel, furiously ignoring the first damp trail down his cheek. There were so many thoughts vying for a place on his tongue. I asked for it! I wanted it, and I wouldn't have taken no! You ruined it, Ariel. He shook his head and dropped his gaze. "I can't regret it," he said softly. He wanted to, and everything Ariel was saying tried to convince him that it hadn't been right, but he couldn't regret it. He was still glad it had happened.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 21:27:43 GMT -5
"You can do so much better than me," Ariel said softly, reaching up to wipe at Markise's cheek. "Even as a friend." There was absolutely no reason for Markise to have any kind of relationship with him, not with everything he had done, not with everything he didn't plan on stopping any time soon. And he couldn't imagine stopping, not when...well, he couldn't see himself stopping.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 21:39:03 GMT -5
Markise's eyes closed at the feel of Ariel's touch. You're better than that, Dare had said. "I know. Maybe, but..." He opened his eyes again, and his hand slipped lightly against Ariel's. "You're good to me when I need it the most." How many times had Ariel saved him? At the lake, on the stairs, at the club, in the corridor...
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 21:43:51 GMT -5
"I thought everyone said not to be with someone that was different around that one person," Ariel said. Wasn't it always something about how they must be faking it if they're different around everyone, but nice around the person they were with? He did that constantly, he was entirely different when Markise needed him. He wasn't even sure which one was really him. If the nice version of him that came out when Markise needed help was really the true him, then why was it so hard for him to stop doing all of the other things?
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 21:57:24 GMT -5
Markise looked at Ariel as steadily as he could with his eyes blurring slightly. "I spent months trying to figure you out and I still don't understand. But when I'm in trouble, you're always there. And not always causing the trouble," he added, a pathetic attempt at humor, but one he needed. He turned his head away. "Maybe I should go," he said. "I can't make you change, can I?" It was a rhetorical question, and he knew the answer.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 22:04:20 GMT -5
Ariel surprised himself when he thought, I wish you could. No, Markise couldn't. He didn't know that anyone, or anything, could make him change. "I'll listen," he said finally. "I'll help you at the shop. If you'll let me. But..." His eyes dropped. He didn't think anything else should happen. He wasn't going to consider that it would in any way be easy, but he wasn't about to give up seeing Markise even the little bit he would at the shop.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 22:23:06 GMT -5
Markise's brows knitted again, and for a moment he was quiet, thinking. What came after that but? He wasn't sure. "That night... it was one time. I needed it and it helped so much, but that was it. I'm fine with that, but if all you can do is listen, it's not enough. You don't have to tell me everything, but something. I don't need a sounding board." He'd done that with Mano, and it had helped, but it had only ever been a quick fix.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 22:31:32 GMT -5
"You'll hate me," Ariel said, "If I tell you." There were things Markise didn't know, and Ariel didn't want to tell him, either. He wanted...he didn't know what he wanted anymore. He wanted Markise safe, but what if the only way to do that was to accept what he was asking? Ariel's hand slid down Markise's arm to softly take Markise's hand.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 22:37:42 GMT -5
Shivers raced up Markise's arm and down his spine from the motion of Ariel's hand, and though part of him said that he should pull away, he couldn't. It felt so good, and so right. How could it feel right? He let his hand curve against Ariel's as he thought and tried to decide what to say. "There's got to be something else you can talk about, right? Are you still going to class?" That was safe. Boring, but safe.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 22:40:41 GMT -5
"Yes," Ariel said, nodding and looking away. "Maverick would kill me if I didn't." It felt so fake, to be talking about something like that with everything else that was there just under the surface. It was truth, though, he had to go to class, he had no choice in the matter. Keeping good grades and a clean record was the only way to keep his older brother off his back and out of his business.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 22:50:22 GMT -5
Markise's tongue swept lightly across his lips as he gave a brief nod. He knew that. Or rather, he'd known once and had forgotten. He felt the pretense as strongly as Ariel did, but didn't know what to do with it. Ariel was holding his hand and that little thing kept calling his attention. "Can I still see you at the club?" he asked softly. He'd had so many odd little hopes after that night.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 22:54:00 GMT -5
Ariel closed his eyes and nodded. "It's different there," he said softly. There, they were around so many other people, nothing could possibly happen at the club. It wasn't like when they were alone somewhere, where everything could get so intense so easily and there wasn't anything there to keep something from happening.
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