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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 8, 2009 21:56:09 GMT -5
Markise stood looking at Ariel, confused. He'd never seen Ariel calm down that quickly before. He'd never seen Ariel without a strong posture that rang with defiant strength. One hand rose to push at his hair, but tangled into it instead, twisting two silky curls into one. "Are you okay?" he asked. He paused a moment longer, then moved forward, stopping next to Ariel, but keeping his hands to himself when he wanted to stroke a comforting hand down that muscled back.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 8, 2009 22:02:33 GMT -5
Ariel closed his eyes and took a breath. He held it for a few seconds before shaking his head. "No, I'm not. But you don't have to worry about it." Except on Friday nights. He kept telling himself nothing would, or could, happen between Markise and him. But then he was just reminded of the one unexplainable night where he had had Markise again and every argument tumbled down again.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 7:56:31 GMT -5
Markise's brows drew together at those stubborn words that said so much more than Ariel had likely wanted them to. "I'm going to worry, whether you want me to or not," Markise said softly. He brought up one hand and tentatively brushed Ariel's hair back from his eyes, letting his fingers linger against it. "Is there something I can do?" I want to help, Ariel. Please let me.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 11:15:41 GMT -5
Ariel cringed away from the touch that was much more pleasant and wanted than he could admit. "No." He started walking again. They were so close to the castle, and once inside they would have to go their separate ways. Markise wouldn't be able to question him anymore. It baffled him that Markise couldn't understand, couldn't figure out why Ariel couldn't let himself do anything when they were alone. The last time, however amazing it had been, was unforgivable.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 13:58:55 GMT -5
Markise was confused, and for a moment he just watched Ariel before finally going after him. All the physical power he felt was on Friday nights, in the world of nightclubs and alcohol. Ariel was getting laid regularly, so it didn't occur to him that he was even wanted. The other night had been because they'd needed the emotional and physical comfort. And because he'd pushed; Ariel's resistance hadn't escaped his notice.
"Can't we just be friends?" he asked when he'd caught up. It had been so nice, even aside from the kisses, aside from when they'd been together again. He wouldn't bring the night up, wouldn't let anything affect the memory of it, but he still felt it and hadn't Ariel been the one to suggest they set aside a night to talk?
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 15:39:19 GMT -5
Ariel closed his eyes for a moment and his feet slowed. "I don't know." It would be so hard to be friends with Markise after everything that had happened. He wanted to be friends, wanted anything he could take, but it felt like it was too much to ask for, like he shouldn't be allowed to have it. He couldn't understand why Markise would even want to be his friend, even after that night. Images from that night flooded his mind and he wished he could have it again, the easy talking on the bed and the small touches. But he felt dirty for even thinking that.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 17:34:44 GMT -5
Markise didn't try to touch Ariel this time, but he looked at him, wondering what had happened. Ariel had done such good work today, but he'd kept his distance and at the end, Markise had stopped him from finishing and he'd gotten upset. Then the gum and now this. Markise's mind struggled to put things together, but he couldn't give the thoughts all his attention. "I want to try..."
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 17:39:15 GMT -5
"It would be so hard..." Ariel said, then he shook his head. No, he didn't even need to consider it. Not when it was so painful to think of. He didn't think he could stand it. "I shouldn't." It was so frustrating! On one hand, he wanted desperately to tell Markise that he couldn't do it, that he didn't want to, but on the other he wanted just as desperately to tell Markise that he would try. It wouldn't be good for either of them if they were friends.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 18:12:33 GMT -5
Markise would have been perfectly happy to argue that it being hard meant nothing, but he was stopped by Ariel's next words. "Why shouldn't you?" he asked, then paused, though he didn't expect a reply. "We both need someone to talk to, and... I don't have anyone else. Do you?" He paused again, very briefly. "I won't piss on you about... what you do..." It hurt, but he felt so responsible, and if there was anything he could do, he'd do it.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 18:20:26 GMT -5
Getting pissed at wouldn't make him stop, even Markise accepting it wouldn't make him stop. And no, he didn't have anyone else. That didn't mean he had to turn to someone he had hurt so very much. "I've already done enough to you," Ariel said, his eyes purposefully turned away from Markise, as though it would help him speak. There was no reason to put Markise in a position to be hurt again by him.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 20:09:12 GMT -5
Markise shook his head and looked away from Ariel. "But you took the job," he said softly. Why had he said yes? Why had he come to the shop at all if he was going to keep his distance? "Why am I staying?" he asked, mostly thinking aloud. Dare. Apparently Dare needed him, didn't he? But was it worth staying for one person? He'd asked himself that before. What about two? Three?
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 20:26:31 GMT -5
Ariel sighed, at the points Markise made, but mostly at himself. "I asked you to stay because I was selfish," he said. "I want you to stay...I want to see you...but..." He sighed heavily and ran his hand roughly through his hair. "It's wrong for me to want that." It had to be. It certainly wasn't right for him to hope to have someone that cared for him.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 20:39:50 GMT -5
Markise looked back at Ariel, his eyes shining in the rising moonlight. "So you feel selfish and I lose someone I can actually talk to? Doesn't it matter what I want?" He didn't care what Ariel did. He couldn't forget, but he'd accepted it enough to actually talk to Ariel and he didn't want to lose it.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Apr 9, 2009 20:45:37 GMT -5
"You shouldn't want me," Ariel said. Anyone in their right mind would have refused to have anything else to do with him. "Why do you want me? You're more likely to find someone to talk to than I ever am." Why would Markise willingly put himself in a position to be hurt again so easily? He didn't understand Markise. Ariel shouldn't let himself even consider being friends.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Apr 9, 2009 20:54:46 GMT -5
Markise looked up at the sky, as though it might give him some answers. "The club is for dancing and letting go, but it's not everything. You know about both, you've been there longer than I have, and just... no one understands!" Markise looked back down, and his right hand moved to toy with the chain at his left wrist. No, Dare didn't understand. He couldn't. He only knew half the story.
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