|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 6, 2009 20:09:36 GMT -5
"No one was made to be alone," Ariel said, then he dropped his eyes from Markise's. "If you really think about it, anyway. I mean, some do better than others alone, but it doesn't mean that's how they're supposed to be." Then he went silent. He had said far more than he meant to with that. He had always thought he would grow up alone, and he had resigned himself to that, until he had met Markise. Even then he hadn't though of it much. And now, without Markise, he felt it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 6, 2009 20:16:41 GMT -5
Markise's eyes dropped too, but only for a moment before they rose to Ariel's again. It was strange hearing Ariel say something like that, and his mind argued with itself over whether it meant any more than it sounded like. He refused to let himself believe that Ariel might be lonely, or that he felt anything at all missing. Ariel had chosen the life he had. Maybe he was just being argumentative. That sounded right.
"I don't like being alone," Markise said, clarifying for himself, at least. "So if I've got the chance, and it's more than a casual thing or a one-shot, I take it." He hadn't intended for Mano to be a one-shot. He'd intended to try again, hell, he still intended to try again, but at the time, he'd gotten sidetracked by the opportunity for a real relationship.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 6, 2009 20:23:02 GMT -5
Ariel couldn't help but wish that he could have another chance, even if it seemed more and more slim every time he thought about it. "I can't blame you for that," he said so softly he wasn't even sure it would be heard over the music. There was a few seconds after he spoke and then he let himself just focus on the dance. He wanted to keep going, but he didn't like how the conversation made him feel, so he didn't say anything else.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 6, 2009 20:30:08 GMT -5
No, Ariel couldn't blame him for that, not when his standards were so much lower than Markise's. At least now he knew that Markise wasn't sitting around waiting for him. It didn't stop him from thinking about Ariel far more than he would prefer, but that was something he'd never admit to. Sober, at least.
"This dance is crap," he observed. Ariel looked easily as miserable as Markise was tense, and he wasn't leading well. Markise didn't want crap. He could be making out with Robbie right now if Ariel hadn't butted in. "You were a lot better last time. Do I need to turn around?" Markise meant the tease. If it got them out of this funk so he could try to enjoy his weekend again, it was worth it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 6, 2009 20:34:16 GMT -5
"Maybe I need to," Ariel suggested, considering the majority of his dancing experience was now from the unexpected position of being in front of a larger man. "Besides, you can't say I'm any worse than I was the first time I danced," he said. Then he forced himself to stop concentrating on his thoughts and concentrated on the dance instead. He was still far from good, but he could pull his own weight in a dance.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 6, 2009 20:43:13 GMT -5
Markise was flustered all over again at the thought of dancing like that, pressed lightly against Ariel's back, his hands on... His cheeks heated, though between his makeup and the lights he hoped it wasn't visible. The issue was easily resolved. Ariel's reference to that miserable mistake of a night out pulled his mind immediately away from the path it had been heading down.
"The first time we danced, you were ogling the crowd," Markise pointed out. He'd even kissed Ariel, and it had been so painfully obvious that Ariel wasn't into it that he'd given up on his previous intentions to dance only for Ariel until he gave up and joined him. "So yeah, I can't say you're any worse now." Markise looked somewhat sharply away from Ariel, his lips firming slightly.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 6, 2009 20:47:56 GMT -5
Ariel avoided Markise's eyes. He kept his lips tightly closed. He refused to try to mention again how he wouldn't have been able to stop if he had tried. For his whole life he had had to keep himself from so much as thinking about guys, and then all of a sudden he was thrown into a crowd of people just like him. How was he supposed to focus with all of that happening around him? "I'm not watching the crowd now," he said, then brought his eyes to Markise's face.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 6, 2009 20:55:46 GMT -5
Markise's eyes closed, and his head tipped back slightly as he let out a dry, humorless laugh. "Irony's a b~," he said. It just figured, when he'd wanted nothing more than for Ariel to want him, Ariel had wanted nothing more than to explore. And now, now when Ariel had all the exploration he could want and Markise had written him off entirely, now he could have his undivided attention. "Aren't you losing money dancing with me?" he asked, opening his eyes at last. Already, he looked away. He didn't want to see whatever reaction Ariel had to that.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 6, 2009 21:02:35 GMT -5
Ariel's jaw clenched and his eyes hardened. "Do you really want to talk about that?" he asked bitterly. Couldn't Markise just accept a dance? For all that Ariel thought Markise hated what he did, Markise wanted to talk about it an awful lot. "Can't we just dance?" he asked then, looking almost pleadingly at Markise's eyes. He didn't care if Markise did turn around, he didn't care if he had to turn around, he just wanted to be able to dance with Markise and pretend.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 6, 2009 21:12:59 GMT -5
Markise's lips had pressed tight at what amounted to Ariel's reprimand, but he hadn't responded beyond turning his face away. No, he most definitely did not want to talk about that, but it had the desired effect of putting some distance between them again.
And then Ariel gave him that look that he couldn't ignore, even at the corners of his eyes. His head dropped, and he nodded. It was just too hard to do this. Maybe without the face-to-face contact he wouldn't be having so much trouble, but God! He felt like crying.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 6, 2009 21:18:14 GMT -5
Ariel let himself imagine that it was their first time in the club, before everything had happened and he had screwed it all up. Only then, with his eyelids falling heavily over his eyes, was he really able to let himself move with the music and Markise. One arm slid around to hold Markise and the other curved around his side. He pulled Markise closer and pulled from everything he had learned by dancing and watching others.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 6, 2009 21:23:33 GMT -5
Markise closed his eyes and let Ariel move him. He pushed thought aside for now; they were just dancing, it was just a dance. Letting go wasn't giving up. Markise's bare arms slid up, bending against the back of Ariel's shoulders to hold him indecently close. It felt so good, though! He reminded himself that it was just a dance, nothing more, and let himself move with the music, with the body against his that was as comforting as it was unnerving.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 6, 2009 21:28:31 GMT -5
Ariel had to fight to keep himself under some kind of control. It was hard when Markise was moving against him so easily again. He allowed himself to dip his head, just enough so that he could feel the edges of his hair touch Markise lightly every so often. His fingers itched to venture underneath that black vest. Somehow he kept them on top of the cloth, just at Markise's hipbone. It may have been just a dance, but it was relief for Ariel.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 6, 2009 21:43:45 GMT -5
It was only just a dance in Markise's mind. As he got lost in all the physical sensations and all the emotions he refused to name or look at too closely, his mind was doing less and less. He let himself pretend, too. For however long this dance lasted, he'd let himself feel whatever came, from the ache in his chest to the tension in his body. It was too easy to do so, but he didn't fight it. He let one hand move up into Ariel's hair, just to touch it, just to see. "It feels better without the gel," he murmured, the words only audible because of how close his lips had drawn to Ariel's ear.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 6, 2009 21:48:33 GMT -5
Ariel closed his eyes tightly. It felt so good to have Markise say even that kind of a compliment. "There's not much in it, it'll be gone by morning," he murmured back, his head tilting to put his lips closer to Markise's ear. At least he didn't use the kind that just made his hair a helmet, at least the kind he used let his hair move. He thought about that. That was safe. The blood rushing through his veins and the ideas that came from the tension just beginning in his chest most definitely wasn't.
|
|
