Skin Deep (Anna/Chase)

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna's eyes widened as Chase exploded on the room in general. She knew the second part of what he said wasn't towards her, but it still stung. Yes, he'd warned her off of him, but he'd purposely sabotaged any chance they might have had by closing her off and pushing her away for anything more than physical gratification. Part of her had nearly jetted from the room when he'd moved out of her way, but she hadn't been quick enough. Once He started on his second spurt of yelling, there was no way she could turn her back on him. She jumped when the desk went flying, crashing into other desks. It only took her a second to shake off her frozen state of fear and rush to him.

"Oh My Goodness! Chase!" She prayed he wouldn't get physically violent with her when she stopped behind him and reached out to him. Her hands lightly brushed up and down his arms, letting him know she was there, but not strong enough that he would mistake it for her trying to restrain him. She didn't utter any condolences like It'll be okay, everything will be fine, because every time someone said those words to her, it made her feel even worse.

[Chase Firebrand]

Chase jerked away from Anna's touch, even though it hardly registered at all in his mind. He didn't want to be comforted, didn't want to stop to think about what he was doing. He wanted to rage, wanted to self-destruct. Chase's feet moved, and he took a purposeful stride across the room, away from Anna, away from the light that she couldn't help being. He knocked aside desks and chairs, but it didn't help, didn't soothe the desperation that was tearing his mind in two.

He growled again, unable to get it out of him and unable to repress it anymore. Something had broken in him and he felt crazy, uncontrollable. He didn't want to do this anymore. He didn't want to hate himself, but he did. He'd lost all his self-respect during that time he'd been with all those girls, and he'd lost all his hope when Dru had left.

He couldn't think anymore, or rather his thoughts came so fast he couldn't sort them, couldn't even catch one to examine. It was the same as not thinking at all, but he felt all the stress of it at once, and part of him prayed to a God he didn't even know if he believed in that it would all just stop. He could pass out, he could have a heart attack and die, just as long as it stopped.

But it wouldn't stop, and so his hands speared into his hair again, clenching into his hair for one long moment before one released and reached shakily for the back of the nearest chair. He'd forgotten Anna as he half collapsed into it, not seeing anymore for the rush in his mind, unsure whether his eyes were even open. He hunched over, arms resting against his knees, and put his head in his hands, unable to spare the energy to sit straight when his mind whirled so fast that he was dizzy from it.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

When Chase pulled away and continued, Anna didn't pursue. She sat down with her back against a wall, just watching, shocked at how out of control he had become. She'd never known anyone with a very big temper, and had only seen her parents have a yelling match once or twice in her lifetime. The majority of things she knew about rage she learned from muggle movies. When Chase settled down, Anna watched him for several minutes before she rose and walked over to him. She righted a chair, then took a seat next to him silently, unsure of what would be best for her to do.

[Chase Firebrand]

Chase didn't hear Anna settle beside him. Some part of him felt her and took the comfort that he wouldn't allow himself any other time, but he couldn't seem to surface, couldn't seem to let things go. He couldn't even catch his thoughts to try. They felt foggy now, slow and sluggish, but still he couldn't make sense of them, and couldn't begin to think outside them. He could have sat there for hours or days, for all he knew of time passing.

It was ages, or maybe just minutes, Chase couldn't tell, before he realized how exhausted he was, and with that exhaustion, that he was finally aware of something again. He didn't move, but for the first time since he'd been here, wherever he was, he pulled a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh. He would be perfectly happy to sleep and never wake up.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna reached out, laying her hand on Chase's thigh that was closest to her. Her head swarmed with thoughts, filling in for the silence that hung in the room. She didn't know all too much about Chase's personal life, he seemed to keep most of it to himself besides what he'd shared about his family to her, and she wondered if this stemmed from that, or something else entirely. Her own life, her own problems, her own wants, all took a back burner as she focused her attention on the man in front of her. He seemed so broken at that moment, and she felt useless just sitting there, trying to comfort him. She needed to help him, to be there for whatever he required of her, and that was all she knew.

[Chase Firebrand]

Chase tensed at the pressure of Anna's hand, his muscled thigh tightening almost as much as his neck, shoulders and arms. He nearly jerked at the sudden reminder of her presence, nearly jerked away from her, and perhaps his muscles twitched in preparation. But he was too weak to fight right now, and so he only shifted, the weight of his head moving to one arm alone as the other arm moved, his hand settling hesitantly over Anna's. He couldn't think to say anything, didn't even know what she was offering or what he'd done, but part of him clung to the contact all the same, praying that it could help ground him, if only long enough to regain some sanity.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna's other hand moved to cover Chase's, sandwiching his had between hers. She gave a light squeeze, a silent declaration to him. What she was getting herself into she didn't really know. She had been prepared to walk out, walk away and try and forget about him. But now? Now Annabelle didn't know what she thought. She saw Chase, and realized that he was just as human as the rest, with just as much baggage and issues. It wasn't fair for her to judge him by the facade he presented to the world, just as it wasn't fair that he had already dismissed her as being the same as Dru and not worth the effort. She brushed the thought aside, not wanting to remember right now about how rude he'd been just a little while ago.

[Chase Firebrand]

Chase felt that squeeze, but couldn't summon anything more than a vague bittersweet gratitude. He was emotionally drained, and nothing came easy to him right now. He wanted to sleep, but didn't want to move even far enough to rest his head against the nearest desk. He just wanted to suddenly wake up and have everything right, no matter how unrealistic and immature that want was. No matter that he didn't know how everything could be right.

Eventually he gave a heavy sigh and straightened, looking toward the classroom wall rather than at Anna. It was easy to accept the comfort she was giving him right now, as long as he distanced himself from it. As long as he pretended that she wasn't comforting him, and that he wasn't holding her hand against him. As long as he pretended he didn't need that contact right now.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

She had sat still, waiting in the silence for him to show some sign that he was ready to move on. When Chase finally made progress that showed he was coming back out of his thoughts, she decided she needed to break the silence before it turned awkward. She saw that he looked away rather than at her, but took it to mean that he wasn't ready to start a confrontation or conversation with her, and that she would have to make the first move. "Does this happen often?" She asked softly.

[Chase Firebrand]

Chase's brows lowered, and he turned to look at Anna, offense lining his face. "No," he said firmly, then pulled his gaze away to glare at the wall. He wasn't mentally unstable, wasn't crazy, and how dare she imply that he was? Chase's hand tightened, and he seriously considered pulling away, standing and leaving the room, but he wasn't ready yet. He'd just firmly pretend that he wasn't still allowing her to hold his hand.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna sighed; she hadn't meant to offend Chase, but apparently she was rather good at doing that. She turned her bottom hand over so their palms were touching and she folded her fingers to actually hold his hand. "I didn't mean anything by that Chase, I'm sorry." She could sense that he was still irritated with her, and didn't want to piss him off anew.

[Chase Firebrand]

Chase didn't immediately respond to Anna. He felt the motions of her hand, it was impossible not to, but he didn't want to accept her apology. She thought he was crazy. How could he help being offended by that, even if it felt true? "What did you mean, then?" Chase asked. He was hardly even aware of what had happened since his mental breakdown. He remembered flashes of anger, remembered taking it out on a desk, but little else, and none of it made sense in his mind. No this didn't happen often, and Chase had no idea what it even was.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

What had she meant? She wasn't really sure anymore, it was just a question. "I don't know Chase, but I didn't mean for it to be offending in any way." She looked at him, wishing she could just see what he was thinking, know what was going on in his head. "I guess I've just seen you yell a lot lately, and I was hoping you weren't always this upset."

[Chase Firebrand]

"You hoped wrong," Chase said under his breath, "But I usually hide it better." He didn't want her to hear him, but his mind still wasn't working well enough, and maybe, just maybe some part of his mind did want to be caught. Maybe some part of him wanted to be dragged forcibly out of the misery he'd been living in. He couldn't seem to cooperate, couldn't seem to submit to attention, affection, or any kind of concern, but maybe deep in the shadows of his mind, he wanted it to happen.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

"Why?" she asked, her eyes softening with both curiosity and concern. She hadn't meant to ask the question out loud, but it came out as a natural reaction to his statement. Why is he so upset? Why is he trying to hide it? Why? She didn't really need to know the answers, but hoped he would open up to her a little. His last words had made her believe that some part of him at least needed an ear to confide in, and a shoulder to lean on. She knew Chase was nothing if he wasn't prideful though, and knew if she straight out offered her assistance he would probably shut her out completely again.