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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 26, 2008 16:32:11 GMT -5
"I don't know," Chase said. "I just want...what I thought we had. I mean...you can talk to me. You don't have to be...mean, angry, you know?" It was hard to put into words, and a victory that he'd managed as much as he had. What did she want to hear? "I don't even know what to expect. I don't know, but that's what I want."
And that wasn't half of what she'd said, only part of it. "There's no reason to be afraid of me, Storm. You know what you're getting. I'm not with Dru anymore, we don't have to hide anything." He didn't know what this was about. It had come out of thin air, and he was left feeling confused.l
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on May 27, 2008 6:46:36 GMT -5
She curled her fists, his words doing more harm than good. She wrapped her arm protectively around her frame eyes hardening.
"It's just physical Chase. You probably don't know much about me, just my body. Your a stranger to me as I'm a stranger to you." she was pained, she still refused to move, her body stuck in the same position the only movement was the rise and fall of her chest.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 28, 2008 7:29:31 GMT -5
Chase's eyes narrowed. All the events of the past few weeks nagged at his mind, Storm's words filtering through, leaving him feeling angry and unsatisfied. "I know how hard your parents push you," he said, his voice low, but hard with tightly leashed energy. "I know you hate being the bad girl, even if you love mind games. I know you've got a soft side you won't show anyone else. I know you've been through rape, I'm pretty damned sure you've been through Cruciatus," if her family was anything like so many of the Dark Lord's supporters, it was a fair guess. "What else do you want? How am I a stranger? What do I not know that you think I should? Tell me, Storm, because until right now, I didn't even know there was anything wrong!"
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on May 28, 2008 10:04:53 GMT -5
She clenched her jaw turning around to glare at him, she was talking through her teeth now, trying very hard not to break down and succumb to him, it wouldn't be the same this time.
"Yeah so what, I was raped, I've been abused by my parents, hell I am not what I appear, but thats all you know, the negatives." she growled, balling her fists up, she wasn't going to lose it, but she wasn't going to be all nice and calm.
"I bet you don't anything about me my interest what I like, and I really don't know much at all about you Chase, all I know is your first and last name and your 'playful' personality." was she taking this too far? No she was human, she didn't want to be sleeping around with someone she barely knew.
"I'm not asking for you to devote yourself to me, I'm not asking you to be tied down by some stupid leash that Dru had around you. I just want to know you, is that too much?" her voice was softer now, defeated in a way, she wouldn't argue anymore, either he did or he didn't either way she wasn't going to explain herself anymore, it was the most she could give out at this point.
"I know that theres a wedge in between us, some problems with trust, but can we not start building on that, wipe away the ruins and try to at least be more than just two strangers who have fun all the time, but have some sort of friendship?" the word sounded odd on her tongue, she wasn't really sure what her relationship with Chase was, sex buddies or something along those lines.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 28, 2008 11:39:30 GMT -5
Chase threw up his hands in frustration. "If you want to talk, then f~ing talk to me, if you want to know something, f~ing ask, I can't read your mind, Storm!" His hands rose, spearing through his hair before going back to his sides. "All I know about you is what I've been told, and what I can guess. If you want to tell me something else, try me. You haven't, so I figured everything was fine the way it was. You can't just go along with everything then all at once say there's a wedge, it's not fair for me, it's not fair for either of us!"
Chase stood his ground, frustrated more than furious, though he could see in Storm's glare that there was more, far more than she was even telling him. Had she just been saving all this up? How long? Had something happened that made her want something she didn't have? What was it? And what was her problem with having fun?
"Just tell me what you want, Storm," he said, his voice lowering again, though there was no hiding the tension that remained. "Just tell me what you want me to do." He was exasperated, completely lost as to how things had changed so quickly. And somehow Storm represented everything in his life right now, everything that had happened since he'd gotten out of the hospital, since he and Dru had broken up.
There had been that first confusion, then the feeling of freedom tempered by guilt. But the guilt had gone, and he'd begun to feel stifled by his freedom. When was the last time a girl had talked to him for more than a few minutes at a time? It was a situation he had no clue how to deal with. What was he supposed to do? Turn down sex when there was no reason not to?
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on May 30, 2008 3:59:15 GMT -5
She was pained, racking through her brain, she didn't want to argue, and even if she could answer, there was only one question that she really wanted answered.
"What do you feel for me, am I just another play toy, or is there something else?" she wasn't saying love, she knew that was out of the question, but she wanted to be more than just another girl, she wanted to make sure that he cared for her feelings and wasn't here for just the sex.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 30, 2008 12:01:48 GMT -5
Chase nearly groaned at the question. Why the hell was it all of a sudden so important to define everything? Why couldn't she just think, just look at what they had, everything they'd done, everything they talked about, and see? But he'd try. Just once, he'd try.
"If you were just a toy, I'd never have slept with you when I was with Dru. If you were just a toy, we wouldn't be having this f~ing discussion, because I'd be gone by now. You want me to say you're nothing, though. You've always wanted me to say it, and I'm tired of trying to convince you of something that should be obvious. Think whatever the hell you want, Storm," Chase said.
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on May 30, 2008 12:16:52 GMT -5
She didn't say anything for a while, she just watched him her eyes scrutinizing his every move. Was she being delusional? Trying to find a way to make everything around her chaotic. Or was this just insecurity. She didn't know, she wasn't sure.
"No I never want you to say it, but you never explain yourself. How am I supposed to know, your so confusing at times it hurts. Sometimes I wish you could just say it and not beat around the bush. Why can't you just tell me what it is I am to you. I want to hear it. To confirm to myself that I'm not a worthless tool." her voice came out in a whimper, she felt a little bit hurt, it wasn't from his words, but from her own confusion.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 30, 2008 12:21:47 GMT -5
Chase threw out his hands. "What do you want me to say, Storm? What is it that you want me to tell you? I can't read your mind! I don't know what we're even arguing about!" Except she wanted more, even if she told him she didn't want to tie him down. She wanted more, she wanted him to put words to it, wanted him to define it, and in a way, that was tying him down, and it was getting difficult to breathe at knowing it. She wanted something she couldn't define, and she wanted him to define it.
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on May 30, 2008 12:44:36 GMT -5
"You already know." was all she had to say at this point, she didn't want to go on. Ever since she met Chase he had changed her, as if he took her and molded her into a new person.
Ever since he was in her life there were more complications that she had never come across and it was suffocating her. She was drowning in confusion, not knowing what it was that she really wanted, but hearing him say that she meant a lot to him would ease that confusion a little bit more.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 30, 2008 13:39:41 GMT -5
"I've already told you, Storm. I've already showed you, and if that's not enough..." God, it felt like a relationship, felt like she was trying to make it a relationship, everything short of saying the words, and she was painfully close to making him say the words. He wouldn't say them. He rebelled against the idea, knowing how horribly being in a relationship had worked out last time, knowing how it had ruined everything, and even if he realized that by refusing to say it, he was ruining things, he couldn't seem to stop himself.
"I'm not doing this," he said, shaking his head emphatically. "We were fine, Storm. We had fun, we talked, we were good together. If that's not enough for you, if you're putting it all on me, making it my fault you don't have what you want, it's your fault. I don't have to do this." Chase turned from Storm, heading into the trees, back toward the school. If she cared enough to stop him, he'd stop, but he had a feeling she'd just let him go and be glad of it.
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on May 31, 2008 11:38:06 GMT -5
She let out a deep sigh, or was it just a breath she had been holding as she watched him leave. Not this time he wasn't going to leave her, she wouldn't allow it.
"Chase!" she called out to him, running till she was in front of him. She stood in front of him, her fingers reaching out to touch his hand, but it fell limp after being halfway there.
Her face hardened trying to seem uncaring. Although it was just another one of her facades, the ones she conjures up whenever hiding her true emotions, it was sad her eyes would always give her away.
"Have fun." she turned her back to him sprinting away from him, her face still hard, she disappeared, she had almost made things better, but she wouldn't allow it would be better for both of them if they were just never together, maybe life might be much easier for both.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Jun 2, 2008 18:19:45 GMT -5
Chase watched Storm disappear with narrowed eyes. He'd thought for a moment that she might say something, that she might tell him what the hell was going on, but no. She'd just wanted the last word. Jaw set, Chase turned, taking a longer path back to the castle. Anything to avoid running into someone.
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