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Post by Emilian Sota on May 10, 2008 20:47:32 GMT -5
Emilian's eyebrows came together, he could feel the distance between them and he didn't like it. He felt like he should pull back and ask what was wrong. He probably should have, instead he kissed her harder, matching her with his own desperation and need for everything to be right again. One hand drifted lightly up her side, attempting to break down the barrier she had put up.
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Adara Snow
Ravenclaw
Alumna 2012; Head Girl
love me dead
Posts: 1,498
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Post by Adara Snow on May 10, 2008 21:00:45 GMT -5
Adara broke, but not in the way Emilian had hoped for. The intimacy of his touch on her body sparked discomfort, every thought she had been so desperate to banish screaming for her attention. This was what had caused such problems between them, and everything was still too fresh to be ignored. Adara pulled back, panting with the effort, one hand curling around his wrist, the other remaining clasped in his shirt. "I cannot do it, Emilian," she said, the words half sobbed. She wanted to, but at the same time she could not bear the thought of it.
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Post by Emilian Sota on May 10, 2008 21:10:13 GMT -5
Emilian let out a breath, his breathing rough, and looked up at her. He took his hands from her and pulled away from her grasp. He had wanted to help, to kiss her and make it go away, but it seemed he had done something wrong again, even though his mind told him that it was only natural that she wouldn't want to do anything. The tension in the room was still tangible as his gaze fell from her eyes and he stood again, his teeth grinding together. There was nothing for him to say, and so he walked back over to the window, staring angrily out of it, his arms tense as his hands clasped behind him.
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Adara Snow
Ravenclaw
Alumna 2012; Head Girl
love me dead
Posts: 1,498
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Post by Adara Snow on May 10, 2008 21:23:42 GMT -5
Adara watched Emilian walk away from her, leaving her feeling lost. She had seen the tight set of his jaw, could feel tension in the air, but was at a loss to interpret it. He was angry, she knew, but why had he walked away? Did he no longer desire her, now that he had been with that other woman? She knew only what she had learned with Emilian, after all, and nothing more. He had said once that having sex with the same person was boring. Perhaps he was bored of her, sexually at least. It was the only explanation she could think of to explain why he had not pushed.
Adara looked away from Emilian, biting her lip hard as she forced herself to her feet. "I will leave you to your thoughts," she said. "I am sorry to cause you such trouble." She was sorry, even if he had caused her far worse. It was simply not in her nature to be vindictive.
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Post by Emilian Sota on May 10, 2008 21:33:47 GMT -5
Emilian had walked away to give himself room to think, not a thought of any other girl, or woman, was in his mind. He had walked away to keep himself from pushing her, because he knew that once he got started it would have been near impossible for him to pull away. But he knew nothing of what Adara was thinking as she stood, had no idea that she was thinking that he was bored of her, because he wasn't, he still wanted her just as much as he had the first time he had met her if not more, and so he couldn't comfort Adara or ease her worries.
When he heard her stand and heard her voice he turned and looked at her, "Don't be sorry for anything, Adara, you've not done anything, it's all me." His eyes trailed over her, examining the fall of her necklace against her chest before meeting her eyes again. The question that was on the tip of his tongue was almost pushed down and suppressed, but he allowed himself to ask. "Will you come back to me?" he asked, the question meaning more than just talking to him, he wanted to know if they would be able to be together like they had before everything had happened.
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Adara Snow
Ravenclaw
Alumna 2012; Head Girl
love me dead
Posts: 1,498
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Post by Adara Snow on May 10, 2008 21:51:04 GMT -5
"Do you want me to?" Adara asked. She could not be certain what his feelings for her were, only that he felt something, and he hadn't asked her to stay, only wondered if she would return. And yet he had told her not to be sorry, as though she had not frustrated or angered him, when she was positive that she had. Adara's hands caught at her skirt again, and she looked unseeing into the room. "Do you still want me?" The question was nearly inaudible, or maybe she hadn't said it at all, she was not sure. But she wondered, and she could not seem to control herself when it came to Emilian.
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Post by Emilian Sota on May 10, 2008 21:56:29 GMT -5
There was a moment's indecision before Emilian came up to her and took her hands from her skirt. "Yes, I want you to come back, and yes I still want you. I want you more than you can imagine," he said, looking into her eyes, however blank they seemed to be. He chewed his lip for a second before turning the question back at her, "Do you still want me?" After everything he had admitted he wouldn't hold it against her if she left and never came back, but that wasn't to say that he wouldn't miss her terribly.
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Adara Snow
Ravenclaw
Alumna 2012; Head Girl
love me dead
Posts: 1,498
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Post by Adara Snow on May 10, 2008 22:23:12 GMT -5
Adara looked at Emilian for one long moment before nodding and letting her gaze slip away. "My body wants you. I want you." Her heart wanted him, but she could not allow herself to say as much. She would not confess to Emilian things which she refused to allow herself to examine. If she did not acknowledge her emotions, then they would be easier to live with, easier not to expect in return.
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Post by Emilian Sota on May 10, 2008 22:31:05 GMT -5
For once Emilian was the one that wanted more, that wanted to spill out his emotions and to hear her do the same, but it was an impossibility for him. How could he do that when for so long he had refused? "You don't have to go," he said, reaching up and brushing her hair behind her shoulder. "I'm not saying we have to have sex, but we could relax..." he trailed off, knowing that his offer would be rejected, because they both needed room to think, and the possibility of holding Adara and letting the tension melt away was too much to ask.
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Adara Snow
Ravenclaw
Alumna 2012; Head Girl
love me dead
Posts: 1,498
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Post by Adara Snow on May 10, 2008 22:42:37 GMT -5
Adara looked at Emilian again, her eyes searching his for whatever it was that she felt he was not saying. The motion of his hand had sent trickles of unwelcome electricity through her, and she wondered how he could possibly feel even a tiny bit for her of what she felt for him. "Is there anything without sex, Emilian?" she asked. For her there was, and he'd said that sex with her meant something, but he had said nothing more. There was still so much uncertainty. An answer to her question, either way, would be welcome.
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Post by Emilian Sota on May 10, 2008 22:51:14 GMT -5
Emilian looked at her, unsure. "Yes," he said slowly. "I think so, because if there was nothing other than sex, then why would I have told you everything I've told you?" His words were slow, as though he was trying to figure it out even as he was answering her question. "Everything, from Carolynn to Michael to trying to fix this today." While he was sure that he had feelings for her, it was hard for him to accept them and even harder to put them into words, he had never felt like that for someone before and had those feelings returned.
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Adara Snow
Ravenclaw
Alumna 2012; Head Girl
love me dead
Posts: 1,498
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Post by Adara Snow on May 12, 2008 20:48:43 GMT -5
Adara's gaze dropped, and she nodded, accepting Emilian's words. "I should go," she said softly. "I will return, but I do not know when." She was emotionally spent, and did not know if the feeling would pass with time, or if she would simply have to grow accustomed to it.
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Post by Emilian Sota on May 12, 2008 21:01:54 GMT -5
Emilian nodded, what else could he do? He wasn't going to force her to stay with him. "I'll be here," he said, running his hand through Adara's hair again before making himself break contact with her. If he didn't break contact he would kiss her, hold her, beg her to stay, all the things that she didn't need from him at the moment. His eyes trailed down her frame as though it were the last time he would see her, memorizing how the silver chain he had given her lay against her chest.
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Adara Snow
Ravenclaw
Alumna 2012; Head Girl
love me dead
Posts: 1,498
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Post by Adara Snow on May 12, 2008 21:07:29 GMT -5
A shiver raced up Adara's spine, a reflexive reaction to the way Emilian looked at her. She struggled not to blush, but to no avail. "I...goodbye, Emilian," she stammered, looking up at him from beneath her lashes. She needed to leave, before she gave in and did something she wasn't ready for just yet. "Goodbye," she repeated. Adara slipped out the door, and out of the shop before she could change her mind.
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Post by Emilian Sota on May 12, 2008 21:13:12 GMT -5
That blush nearly brought a smile to Emilian's face, but it was impossible to smile. He watched her leave, feeling an emptiness come over him, making his chest tight. For a few long minutes he just stood there, trying to figure out what to do, he was angry, and at the same time too tired to do anything about it, while he knew he would be unable to sleep if he tried. So he resorted to that bottle of wine he had bought that day when he had run into Eloise, hopefully it would help him think as he sat in that chair, alone once more.
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