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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on Apr 25, 2008 11:17:21 GMT -5
Despite the tears, or the look in her eyes, the pain, she managed to smile. She raised a shaking hand resting it on his cheek, trying to explain to him, what was going on in her mind.
"I don't deserve trust, I have to work for that, the same way I have to work for some sort of inner peace in me. I don't hate myself, I hate what I do, what I feel, how weak I really am." she was biting down on her lip, how could she just make this all better, make everything work, so that both would be happy.
"Whatever happened between yourself and Dru is between you, but I contributed in it, and I can't pretend that I didn't do anything."
Her breath was coming out in sharp pants, as if she was chocking, on the words that wanted to flood out. She wished she could just somehow let him see everything, to let him know what was going on in her mind.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Apr 25, 2008 16:50:24 GMT -5
Chase searched Storm's eyes, but all he saw was pools of gray, that same unreadable look that always drew him in without telling him anything. He didn't try to pull away from her; he couldn't have even if he'd wanted to, and he told himself that he should want to. "Do you even care that I don't trust you? Do you want me to hate you the way you hate yourself?"Chase brought his hand to Storm's, his fingers sliding against hers, then curving around them. "I won't. I won't hate you, Storm.
"You're crazy," he said, without a trace of condescension, almost wistfully. "Maybe I'm crazy too." Crazy for standing here with her, for wanting to kiss some sense into her, for wanting to comfort her. God, he could see the emotion she worked so hard to keep back. Why? Why did she hold it all in?
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on Apr 26, 2008 2:31:09 GMT -5
She sighed, shaking her head, she didn't want him to hate her, that would probably crush her even more, but she wanted him to help her, save her in a way. Her dull Grey eyes turned a slight silver.
"I do care you don't trust me, and I don't want you to hate me, but I want to work for your trust, the problem is, are you willing to give me a chance to prove myself?" she asked a small smile tugging at her lips at his last comment, she was in some sense crazy, but it was a part of her, who she was, and that crazy part of her was fun, sometimes, depending on the situation of course.
Lucretia knew that she may come off as the emotionless type, but it was hard for her to portray her emotions. She was working on that too, just as much as she was working on a lot of things that seemed to dictate her life.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Apr 26, 2008 12:23:04 GMT -5
"I've been waiting since that night in the forest. That other night," he said, referencing the night he'd confronted her, the night he'd broken off something that had never really gotten started. "I never stopped waiting for you to do something that would prove me wrong." And she'd never even tried to prove him wrong. Maybe she was too like him, in that way. Why prove someone wrong when they'd think what they wanted anyway?
Chase reached out, smoothing a shock of midnight-black hair away from Storm's face, letting his hand linger against her. "I wasn't lying when I said in the hospital I'd asked about you. I wondered how you were doing." He'd wondered how she was doing without him. It was a selfish thought, egocentric, but he'd had it all the same. He'd needed to know he hadn't hurt her too badly, that she hadn't gone over the edge because of him.
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on Apr 26, 2008 12:30:12 GMT -5
How could she prove it to him? She remembered how she hadn't told Dru anything, she was rather successful in terms of stirring it away from that particular subject, but it only ended worse. She could have said something to anyone, but kept her silence.
"I'm sorry I'm keeping you waiting, but I don't know how to prove it to you." she said softly looking away from him now, clearly she was confused. The feeling of his hand against made her raise her own hand to his, holding it firmly in her grasp. Still not looking at him, she could feel the smile slowly grow a little bit bigger.
"I'll be fine, I can numb myself pretty well." she cringed at that small comment on her part. As much as she wished it was false, she knew that it was too true, she could literally make herself seem like part of the living dead.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Apr 26, 2008 12:59:28 GMT -5
"Don't, Storm." Chase's hand smoothed over her jaw, drawing her face up to look at him. "Don't shut down. I can see when you're holding back, and I know it's killing you. You hold it in, you'll drive yourself..." crazy. Did it even need said? Chase clenched his jaw, his mind connecting the unsaid with the reality. There was no forgetting, no pretending.
"Whatever happened in the forest between you and Dru, were you even thinking then? Were you even sane? Or did everything you pushed down just fester until you couldn't control it?" She'd been insane then, from everything he'd heard. She'd stabbed herself. It was so surreal he had a difficult time believing it, even knowing how on-edge Storm could be.
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on Apr 26, 2008 13:05:44 GMT -5
She didn't let go holding on to his hand, she wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She knew that he was right, that by shutting down she would only make it worse, maybe not now, but in the future.
"It's like my anger makes a whole other person, it was like I was watching everything from outside my own body." she said her lower lip trembling, she couldn't believe it herself, sometimes she wanted to believe it was just some sort of dream.
"I struggled to get in control, and just as I was about to..." she trailed off knowing he would be able to put the pieces together. She really didn't want to continue. Her other hand dropped from his face to rest on her abdomen, where the scar was.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Apr 26, 2008 13:22:34 GMT -5
Chase swore under his breath. He had no trouble following Storm's words into her thoughts. It was truth, insanity, nightmare, and he couldn't walk away because he knew how she could be. He knew how she was when she was with him. It was too much to think he brought out the best in someone, so he refused to think it. He was lucky, that was all.
He needed to comfort her, couldn't handle the trembling of her lip, the misery in her eyes. Chase's arms slipped around Storm, drawing her into their warmth, their strength, all he knew how to offer her. If it occurred to him that this very method of comfort had been the beginning of the end of things with Dru, he forced the thought aside. It was all he had to give her, since he couldn't offer absolution.
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on Apr 26, 2008 13:31:35 GMT -5
She accepted this comfort and wouldn't push it any father. For now it was enough for her, to keep her calm. The warmth of his body was inviting. Lucretia wrapped her arms around his body, her face buried in his chest.
"Thank you." she managed to whisper unable to break her hold on him, she didn't want to let go, and she didn't want him to let go of her either, but she knew it was inevitable.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Apr 26, 2008 13:53:07 GMT -5
"I haven't done anything for you," Chase murmured, Storm's thanks beyond his understanding. He hadn't done anything but degrade her in an attempt to keep distance, insult her to save his conscience, his pride, and his promise to Dru. He didn't know why Storm came back to him any more than he knew why he kept coming back to her. Was it that uncharacteristic softness he brought out in her? Was it that she appeased that part of him that wanted something to protect, some cause to fight for? He'd never really fought for her, though. He'd never really protected her.
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on Apr 26, 2008 14:01:08 GMT -5
She shook her head, pulling her head away from his chest to look up into his eyes.
"You don't give yourself enough credit." she said trying to lighten up the mood, for an added effect she rolled her eyes, much like she did when things were much easier for them, before he was tied down to Dru.
Lucretia loosened her grip on him, already feel a little bit better, at least he didn't push her away, much like he did last time.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Apr 26, 2008 15:42:34 GMT -5
Chase's lips curved. "That makes two of us," he said. He hadn't seen her like this, looking almost happy in longer than he could remember. "What can I do for you?" he asked, forcing aside the awkwardness neither of them needed. It was far easier, far more fun to let her take them back. It had been so long, but the smirk still came easily, even if the emotional ease didn't. He still felt Dru, even if he'd let her go. It was habit, he told himself.
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on Apr 26, 2008 18:54:12 GMT -5
Lucretia grinned, completely pulling away from him, leaning of the ledge, it was pretty wide, but with the breeze it was pretty dangerous. A thought came to mind as she jumped up sitting on the ledge a playful grin still etched in her features.
“I forgot what it’s like having a healthy dosage of adrenaline, do you mind reminding me?” she asked leaning back a little, but still retaining her balance. Lucretia slowly pushed herself up, till she was standing on the ledge, it wasn’t very narrow, but still very dangerous. Lucretia walked back and forth, her balance not wavering once.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on Apr 27, 2008 0:02:23 GMT -5
Chase watched, outwardly calm, except for the sudden tension in his muscles that declared he wouldn't let her fall. "I can't show you if you're way up there," he said, tucking his thumbs in his pockets. He remem
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Post by Lucretia 'Storm' Seyrrou on Apr 27, 2008 6:38:53 GMT -5
She keeled down, so that she was eye level with him. Her hair blowing behind her as if it were alive. Her lips in a playful grin. Lucretia turned to look behind her, she wasn't afraid of heights. Lucretia thought, maybe she could do a few springs, but that would be crazy, suicidal in a way, and she was in no hurry to go back to the hospital wing.
"Do you want me to come down?" she asked, her head tilted to the side, he looked unaffected, but people were known to keep their emotions in check.
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