Post by Keith Evans on Sept 7, 2012 21:17:32 GMT -5
Keith had stopped by a store in Hogsmeade on his way up and grabbed a bottle, needing something to calm his mind. He'd ignored any he passed in the hallways on his way to his rooms, and he'd only spent a few minutes in his bedroom before heading out again toward the greenhouses, just long enough to change into more comfortable clothing for the heavy, humid air.
As soon as the door shut behind him and the air settled around like a warm blanket he calmed slightly. A wave of his wand sent heavy music coursing loudly through the greenhouse, and he took a swig of the pint before setting it aside and getting to work. The greenhouse needed some final preparations for his new group of O.W.L. students.
He'd made the right choice in leaving. He didn't want to be with Lyric, he didn't want to have a relationship and be labeled boyfriend. He'd been Skylar's sub for so long, morphed and molded into what the older man wanted, only to be tossed aside. He'd began doubting that the man had ever truly loved him, and that made it hurt all over again. How could he have been so stupid?
Even away from the man he hadn't been his own. He'd dwelled on what could have gone differently for months and months. Other hands on his body had shifted in his mind's eye to familiar, firm, dominating ones.
He shook his head violently and dug deeply into the soil of a large pot. He'd moved partially to get away from the ghosts, only to end up in Matthew's arms. During that time he had withstood his best friend trying to court him, which in and of itself had been draining, and he had began to wonder if it might be better for him to be with a friend rather than a lover. Just try it, then you won't have regrets. It hadn't really been his decision, had it?
Then Rowan, where he'd tried so hard to do what he thought was right, tried to respect limits and lied to himself about what he needed to be happy. He had started frequenting clubs with Rowan and with Dare, something he'd so rarely done with Skylar, or even after while single.
And Lyric, what could he have done differently there? He had felt pushed, forced into the friendship at times, afraid that perhaps if he left it would send the man over some imagined edge. Attempts to pull away had been squashed by his own damn weaknesses. And damn it all but he felt guilty for leaving, and he'd truly enjoyed his time spent with Lyric.
But he needed Keith. He didn't need Keith and so-and-so. So it was best for him, he'd made the right decision, right? He eyed a gently swaying plant and turned the question on it. Its leaves simply waved at him. He grumbled some unpleasantry and stood, heading to the front and the bottle.
As soon as the door shut behind him and the air settled around like a warm blanket he calmed slightly. A wave of his wand sent heavy music coursing loudly through the greenhouse, and he took a swig of the pint before setting it aside and getting to work. The greenhouse needed some final preparations for his new group of O.W.L. students.
He'd made the right choice in leaving. He didn't want to be with Lyric, he didn't want to have a relationship and be labeled boyfriend. He'd been Skylar's sub for so long, morphed and molded into what the older man wanted, only to be tossed aside. He'd began doubting that the man had ever truly loved him, and that made it hurt all over again. How could he have been so stupid?
Even away from the man he hadn't been his own. He'd dwelled on what could have gone differently for months and months. Other hands on his body had shifted in his mind's eye to familiar, firm, dominating ones.
He shook his head violently and dug deeply into the soil of a large pot. He'd moved partially to get away from the ghosts, only to end up in Matthew's arms. During that time he had withstood his best friend trying to court him, which in and of itself had been draining, and he had began to wonder if it might be better for him to be with a friend rather than a lover. Just try it, then you won't have regrets. It hadn't really been his decision, had it?
Then Rowan, where he'd tried so hard to do what he thought was right, tried to respect limits and lied to himself about what he needed to be happy. He had started frequenting clubs with Rowan and with Dare, something he'd so rarely done with Skylar, or even after while single.
And Lyric, what could he have done differently there? He had felt pushed, forced into the friendship at times, afraid that perhaps if he left it would send the man over some imagined edge. Attempts to pull away had been squashed by his own damn weaknesses. And damn it all but he felt guilty for leaving, and he'd truly enjoyed his time spent with Lyric.
But he needed Keith. He didn't need Keith and so-and-so. So it was best for him, he'd made the right decision, right? He eyed a gently swaying plant and turned the question on it. Its leaves simply waved at him. He grumbled some unpleasantry and stood, heading to the front and the bottle.
