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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on May 30, 2012 23:22:34 GMT -5
The last of the students had finally made his way out of the classroom, and Dare was glad of it. He was looking forward to lunch with Keith, even if it meant discomfort the moment Michael entered the Great Hall. Assuming Michael didn't go home for lunch.
He had his wand out and was concentrating on straightening chairs and moving bits of debris into the trash, his wandwork infinitely improved since his days as a student, but still spotty here and there.
He was considering staying in the tower after his last class until Michael showed up. He didn't want to have a fight with the twins around, but he never saw his husband, and after that last night out with the guys, something had to be done. He wasn't looking forward to it. It didn't feel like a step toward freedom so much as letting go of a weight.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 30, 2012 23:25:49 GMT -5
Michael knocked on the door and let himself in without waiting for a response. "Hey," he said, pulling the door closed behind him. "How are you?" He felt like he might as well talk about the weather at this point. He reached up and loosened the neck of his robes.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on May 30, 2012 23:37:32 GMT -5
Dare blinked in surprise, and the little trash can by the door toppled in his distraction. "Uh, fine?" he replied. Michael was rarely straightforward, and that immediate closed door felt like business. He gave Michael a look of appraisal as he neared, then bent to right the trash by hand. Maybe they could get this over with now, and he could just grab Elouai and go at the end of the day.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 30, 2012 23:43:53 GMT -5
"Haven't seen you much," Michael said, though he looked away again before speaking again. "I've been trying to sort things out, went to Kane, somehow managing to keep myself from giving up on therapy. Thinking of where I could ask you out." And he wasn't sure where to start with any of it.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on May 30, 2012 23:48:15 GMT -5
Dare shrugged. "Anywhere," he said, straightening. He stepped back, taking some much-needed space, and rubbed at the back of his neck as he looked away. "Well, not clubbing, obviously..." And that was something he'd done as much as possible lately. He was going for runs with Elouai more than walks, exercising and seeing Mistress V, but the energy was building up all the same.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 30, 2012 23:54:56 GMT -5
"I'd like that, actually, I miss touching you," Michael said, looking up at Dare. "I want to..." But apparently they couldn't even hold hands, so what he wanted didn't matter. He slid his hands into his pockets to keep himself from any nervous picking at his fingers and glanced off across the room. Some part of him that rarely managed to escape wanted to just take, but he refused.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on May 31, 2012 0:01:01 GMT -5
Dare's hands unconsciously sought each other out, then sought the folds of his perpetually-open professor's robes. "We'll start the sensate focus thing whenever you want," he said. "Just say so, you know?" He'd been waiting for Michael to tell him it was time for phase two, or whatever. That was completely different from saying I like it when you yank me. He'd begun to think Michael was holding onto distance as hard as he could.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 31, 2012 0:11:12 GMT -5
"Now? Yesterday? Skip to the end? I'm sick of this," Michael said, beginning to pace in what space he had available. "It shouldn't have taken as long as it did, it shouldn't have been so damn extreme. It was supposed to help us, not rip us apart." And it had been his decision, even with his therapist nudging him along.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on May 31, 2012 0:18:39 GMT -5
"I don't know!" Dare said, his hands rising in supplication. "You never gave me the book, I mean, I don't even want to read it unless you need me to, but just tell me what comes next! I don't have to go home at three." What he'd intended to say to Michael was dead and kicked under the rug for now. Maybe he'd say it another day, but he'd been waiting for Michael to do something, to say something, and something was actually happening.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 31, 2012 0:27:04 GMT -5
"Then let's go. Touch me, or let me touch you first, I don't know which would be better. We can go as quickly as we want through it," Michael said. He just wanted to touch Dare again. He almost wanted to take a stage a day and run, but he knew that wouldn't help at all. "And, ah, you won't be getting the book. I kind of...destroyed some of it." It had been a fit of anger, panic, exhaustion, and desperation that had ended in a distinct lack of pages. He looked up at Dare again vague bitter humor flashing through his eyes at the confession.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on May 31, 2012 0:38:44 GMT -5
Part of Dare wanted to laugh just to get some of the tension out of the air, and part of him wanted to seize that look in Michael's eyes, to put it to paper, something just to remember it had been there. He shook his head.
"We can't do it now, not right now," he said. "You told me it's not supposed to be sexual and there's too much in the air." Whether Michael even recognized it, it was there, just from the stress of the conversation and how long it had been since they'd talked honestly about anything. Dare's bluntness, his ability to recognize sexual tension, had been honed to a fine point by the company he kept.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 31, 2012 0:49:32 GMT -5
Michael nodded, unwilling to argue that point. "After classes, then. And...when we go out...can we touch? Please? It's driving me crazy. A hug, or holding hands, or a kiss...it's not going to ruin this," he said. Well, it couldn't mess things up any worse than they already were.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on May 31, 2012 0:53:43 GMT -5
"Later," Dare said, though there was a note of pleading in his voice. "After classes." If he answered now, it would be a no just because it felt safer that way. He didn't know whether Michael was saying it wouldn't ruin this because it went with the sensate focus, or because he wanted to give it up, and he was twisting his words.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 31, 2012 1:02:59 GMT -5
Michael nodded, "Okay." He hovered for a moment, but he couldn't think of anything else to say. Well, there was plenty to say, but he didn't want to press their luck. If he left now, he could say they had successfully had another conversation that didn't end in a fight. "I'll see you then. I love you." He couldn't just not say it. Then he turned and left.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jun 2, 2012 20:04:49 GMT -5
Dare waited until Michael was gone to close the door, then turned and kicked the trash can halfway across the room. He should have said it too, he knew he should have, but he hadn't been able to and he hated himself for it. He took a deep breath, trying to center himself, then brought out his wand again to clean up.
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