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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Apr 9, 2012 19:00:40 GMT -5
"Yeah, sure." Dare had agreed before Matthew's look sunk in, and suddenly what could have been an innocent request to talk was setting off warning bells in is mind. He held back a sigh and set Lestat down on his bottom, then handed over a nice cool teether before standing. "What's up?" he asked, approaching Rhys.
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Apr 9, 2012 19:07:38 GMT -5
Rhys turned and took a few steps away from the group before he even considered talking. "So I'm guessing you saw my scars," he said, making his way toward the tree he and Matthew had stopped at. "Matthew told me what you told him earlier, about being in a bad way." He glanced over at Dare.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Apr 9, 2012 19:14:02 GMT -5
"No, I'm fine," Dare insisted. What had he told Matthew? He'd pulled him aside to talk about Keith, but it hadn't been long before Rhys had joined in and the two of them had started talking. He looked down at the toes of his shoes, letting his hair hang across his face. "But yeah, I saw the scars. I'm sorry, it's none of my business. I wasn't going to say anything."
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Apr 9, 2012 19:17:39 GMT -5
"Listen, Dare, I...It's obviously a big deal for you because you totally shut off, you know? I cut-" Rhys stopped and glanced back towards Matthew playing with the dog before closing his eyes for a moment. His steps slowed, "I cut off and on for nearly ten years." If there was anything he knew well, it was that topic.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Apr 9, 2012 19:23:57 GMT -5
Dare was completely silent at first. Ten years. That was a hell of a long time. He'd been a kid then. He shook his head. "I've got no problem with you," he said, bypassing the opportunity for his own confessions. "I'm not going to judge, if that's what you're worried about." He had no space to judge, none whatsoever.
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Apr 9, 2012 19:36:04 GMT -5
"I'm not worried about that, I'm worried about you," Rhys said, looking up at Dare again. "I know how it is and you've hinted you're having problems with Michael. I mean, I know we haven't known each other for long but if there's some way I can help, even if it's just listening, or telling you my own story...sometimes it's easy to get back into old habits." Thankfully he hadn't done so in months, but sometimes he felt like it wouldn't take much. He felt like he hadn't made a lot of sense, though.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Apr 9, 2012 19:50:10 GMT -5
Dare shook his head. He didn't want to talk about this, didn't want to have a breakdown in public, didn't want Michael to see. He wanted to be the strong one and protect everyone else, and if he had any weak moments, he didn't want to admit to them. He wasn't allowed to be weak, and any time he was, there were months of cleanup, and a year of trying to put Michael back together, trying to get Michael to trust him again.
"I'm fine," he insisted. He took half a step back. "But, um... thanks for sharing." He needed new shoes. This pair was getting pretty ragged around the toes.
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Apr 9, 2012 19:58:29 GMT -5
"I can't in good conscience just let you go off when I think I can help. I'd never told anyone my story until Matthew, and there are still things he doesn't know, so I know it's tough to talk about. What's going on? Or are you going to swear you'll come by Matthew's and talk to me later?" If Rhys could manage to get a satisfactory promise he would be more likely to drop it for now.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Apr 9, 2012 20:02:49 GMT -5
Dare gave a low groan, though he tried to repress it, and for the moment, even his own shoes were too much to look at. His gaze moved into the grass instead, unseeing as he wavered between saying something and simply walking away. He didn't need another half-assed attempt to help that would just break him and leave him trying to shove everything down again! He'd had enough of those, and he refused to break again, where anyone could see him do so.
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Apr 9, 2012 20:12:03 GMT -5
"I help people, it's what I do," Rhys said, shrugging. "When there's a friend that needs something I can't help but want to try." Helping people was something he felt he needed to do, it made him feel worth something. When it was a friend the feeling was much more intense and he could never just let it go.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Apr 9, 2012 20:16:51 GMT -5
"I don't need help," Dare said, his defensive side prickling. He knew how blatant a lie that probably seemed, when he'd done so much complaining since he'd met Rhys, but he'd depended on other people to help him out enough times. No one was going to save him from himself, he needed to just suck it up and deal with it himself.
"Thank you for trying, but I'm fine." And he was heading back to the picnic blanket, where he could forget this uncomfortable conversation had ever happened. He turned to walk away, shoving his thumbs down into his pockets.
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Apr 9, 2012 20:26:07 GMT -5
"I don't believe you. There's nothing wrong with talking, have you ever been able to talk to someone that's been through it?" Rhys asked. He didn't know what had made Dare turn to it, he wasn't even sure what exactly it was just yet, but he at least had experience with painful self hate and self harm.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Apr 9, 2012 20:32:02 GMT -5
Dare stopped and turned to face Rhys, though he still looked past rather than at him. "No, I haven't, and I don't need to!" He gestured off behind him. "I've got a husband and two kids to take care of, and I can't deal with this crap! It doesn't need to come up. What I do—or what I did—is no one else's business! It's great you care, really, but there's too much going on and this," he said, gesturing between them, "this is just more sh~ I don't need. So please, just leave off it, all right?"
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Post by Rhys Moreau on Apr 9, 2012 20:36:52 GMT -5
"Then don't talk to me about what happened then, tell me what's going on now to make you so on edge," Rhys said. "I haven't known you long, but there's no way you're this tense all the time." He pulled up one hand and rubbed at the long scar on his opposite arm. He had never had anyone he could talk to about it, and maybe that was influencing his words.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Apr 9, 2012 20:41:20 GMT -5
"It's the same sh~ it's always been," Dare said, hissing the words to keep himself from shouting. "I don't even know what the hell's wrong..." There were too many pieces of things that he should be able to deal with, and they shouldn't add up to enough to do this to him. They'd had a good winter, and he wasn't doing this now! Hell, he didn't even remember what had him so stressed half the time, it was easier to just push it aside. "I'm not your responsibility."
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