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Post by Rowan Trace on Jan 24, 2012 15:36:40 GMT -5
Dear Keith, the letter had begun, though the words were written so simply that there was no question about the meaning of the endearment. A Burrowing Owl had delivered the scroll, crisp, elegant parchment closed with a wax seal. Rowan had written it the first moment it had seemed proper and sent it off, still boggling at everything which had happened in the past day. Dear Keith,
Please read this letter in its entirety.
New Year's Eve, I unknowingly consumed a love potion, which had unfortunate effects you will recall. I have, as yet, been unable to convince Shianni that ending this false marriage is in her best interests, but am certain that a solution will present itself.
I will be returning to Hogwarts shortly, before school resumes, and would appreciate an opportunity to discuss the situation with you. Please contact me at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Rowan Rowan smoothed his professor's robes as he approached the greenhouse, and within, Keith. He kept his gaze studiously away from the shining platinum band around his ring finger, and went over the things he planned to say once more. The heat and humidity was stifling, and he took a few purposeful breaths to accustom himself to it before calling out to Keith. "Do you have time?" What had happened since the start of the new year was as it was, there was no changing it, and so there was nothing to do but be reasonable about it all. At least, that was what he told himself when emotion threatened.
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Post by Keith Evans on Jan 24, 2012 15:51:10 GMT -5
Keith had gotten the letter. He had even read the letter. No, he had not responded. A love potion. It sounded like an excuse, though he knew there was no reason for Rowan to make such a claim if it wasn't true. A love potion didn't make it hurt any less, anyway. The curt, to the point letter that was so Rowan only dug in how stupid he had been to want a relationship with the man in the first place. And how much he knew he wanted to have the chance to continue the relationship. An experiment.
He had been spending an unusual amount of time in the greenhouses since Trent had left his quarters that first day. The music had blasted and he had sweated and worked to catch up and prepare everything for the coming term. He had tried not to think about Rowan. He had been marginally successful, and then he heard Rowan calling for him. His body tightened as he straightened to search him out.
"No," he said after a momentary battle within himself. "I don't want to talk to you." Before the words were out of his mouth he looked away. He didn't know what Rowan intended to say and he was fully aware how childish it was to refuse to talk, but he still wanted to resist.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Jan 24, 2012 17:38:55 GMT -5
Rowan blinked in surprise, and for a moment, he was completely silent. "All right," he said, "But I'm going to talk." He gathered his words together. "Firstly, I regret this entire incident. I regret that I presented it to you so callously. I regret that I was careless enough to accept food from an unknown source. I will be dealing with the consequences of that night for the rest of my life." He pressed his lips together, debating the wisdom of speaking the rest.
"She's pregnant, Keith. She won't give me a divorce."
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Post by Keith Evans on Jan 24, 2012 19:41:24 GMT -5
"You've got to be joking," Keith said, breaking his vow of silence in surprise and looking up at Rowan. "You're damn potent, aren't you?" It wasn't a compliment. He didn't care right now if Rowan regretted it all, it was still too fresh. Or maybe he did care and just refused to let himself admit it because of that immature stubbornness. The way his eyes darted away so soon after speaking suggested the latter.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Jan 24, 2012 19:52:57 GMT -5
Rowan parted his lips to explain that one didn't need practice to become fertile, but Keith knew more about that subject than he ever would. "You realize that I never lied to you," he pointed out instead. "I wasn't betraying you, and most of the things I said were greatly influenced by a potion. Did you get the letter?" Perhaps Keith simply didn't know.
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Post by Keith Evans on Jan 24, 2012 19:59:33 GMT -5
"Yes, I got the damn clinical letter, Rowan," Keith said. "And just because most of the things you said were because of that potion doesn't mean it didn't hurt! A love potion wouldn't make you say we were an experiment the whole time. Surely if I ever meant anything to you you wouldn't have been such an arse!" He glared at Rowan, wondering if the man would try to logic his way out of it.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Jan 24, 2012 20:14:25 GMT -5
Rowan stiffened, but forced himself to gather his words before arguing. "That letter was sent within an hour of the potion wearing off," he said. "I'm sorry you're offended by it, but I had more respect for you than to attempt a one-sided discussion on parchment. And you're twisting my words. You're twisting them, and ignoring the fact that I was under the influence of a powerful love potion. Everything you said seemed like a slight against Shianni, and I've already apologized for my uncontrolled temper.
"As for the experiment, I told you that it was from the beginning. Life is an experiment, Keith. I didn't mean it to sound demeaning, or to put down our relationship. You demanded answers that I simply didn't have, and I was giving the only explanations I could form."
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Post by Keith Evans on Jan 24, 2012 20:25:09 GMT -5
"Fine, then, you were under the influence of a love potion, but knowing that doesn't just erase feeling like I was nothing! I can't just tell myself that you didn't have control and pretend it's all okay like it didn't happen. And now you can't even get out of it and you're going to have a kid. Can you understand, at least a little, how I felt?" That bitterness that had just been building said that no, of course Rowan couldn't. Keith wanted to rant and rave and knowing that Rowan had no control had robbed him of that, leaving him feeling empty and angry with no reason to feel that way.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Jan 24, 2012 20:32:05 GMT -5
"I can't," Rowan said, "but we've had that discussion before. I'll just go. I'll be in my quarters when you're finished pissing in the wind." He turned with a flurry of robes and pushed open the door he'd hardly stepped beyond. Keith was always pissed about things that couldn't be changed! Rowan couldn't change his sexuality, whatever it was, and he couldn't erase the past!
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Post by Keith Evans on Jan 24, 2012 20:35:45 GMT -5
Keith cursed under his breath, and though he half wanted to just let Rowan go, he took a few quick steps toward the front of the greenhouse. "Wait, I'm sorry, I'm acting like an immature brat, I know. I just...I hurt, and I can't wish it away, or I would." He hadn't learned much with Rowan, but he liked to think he had gotten at least a little better at talking. At least he was able to stop and apologize instead of just pushing until there was nothing else that could be done.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Jan 24, 2012 20:48:35 GMT -5
"Neither of us can wish this away!" Rowan barked, turning to glare at Keith with barely-repressed fury. "While you're over there b~ing that I hurt your feelings, I'm married to someone I hardly know, I'm trapped in the situation, and all my plans..." He made a low noise of anger and desperation, struggling to contain himself. When he spoke again, his voice was level, but it was forced. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go make room in my quarters for two other people."
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Post by Keith Evans on Jan 24, 2012 21:09:50 GMT -5
Keith closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try to control himself. "I'm sorry," he said before opening his eyes. "I can't imagine what it's like for you." What he wanted to say next, what he knew he should say next, was hard. "If there's anything I can do, I'll do it. I just...right now it's too much for me, Rowan. I'll help you if you need it, I just need time to get used to all this. I'm sorry I'm being an arse but you meant a lot to me." Meant, not mean. It was safer that way.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Jan 24, 2012 21:15:28 GMT -5
"I'm going out this weekend, before Shianni gets back. If you want to go, I'm leaving at eight and I won't be back until the gates open in the morning." That was as much of an invitation as Keith would get, and as much of a concession. It took time for Rowan's temper to get worked up so high, but once it was, there was little he could do to stop the cauldron from boiling over. He turned again and left briskly, without so much as glancing back.
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