Lassen Sie Mich Gehen (Emilian/Adara)

[Adara Snow]

"You are cruel to tell me these things!" Adara said, the first tears escaping despite her best effort. She fumbled beneath her cloak for a handkerchief even as she walked, forgetting the safety of the castle for the need to simply go. "Let me go, let me pretend to forget!"

She could never forget, never, and she would need those memories to hold her through a loveless marriage, through the loneliness of an old age she'd spend alone and widowed. But she could pretend, she pretended every time she remembered. Dreams, nothing but dreams. She'd affected nothing.

[Emilian Sota]

"It is cruel for me to tell you that being with you was the single best thing to ever happen to me? That I regret hurting you? I'm afraid, though, that if it hadn't happened when it did, it would have only been worse as we grew older. I wanted to give you everything," Emilian said, afraid now that he would never have the chance to say things to her. He had always had a bad habit of letting his mouth get away from him.

[Adara Snow]

"No!" Adara shouted, shivering with the force of emotion. "You let me leave! You said nothing to keep me, you said nothing for a year, and I will not fall prey to you again! I will not have sex with you!" He had no finer motivation and never had. She refused to believe any of it. How could she ever marry, ever move on, if any part of her still held hope that Emilian could love her again?

[Emilian Sota]

"I'm not asking for sex, I can't even have sex, anyway," Emilian said. "I wasn't strong enough to contact you, I'm only just now..." He shook his head, searching for the right words. The old temper that would have flared felt deflated. "I though I could be happy, but I wasn't, I never was, but I'm finding some part of myself now. That part you used to pull out." It was so recent, just the past week, but he already felt so much freer than he ever had, except for when he had been with her.

[Adara Snow]

Adara was confused and exhausted, miserable, and she didn't want to hear this, but she stopped all the same. She couldn't escape him, so she'd let him say whatever he needed to make himself feel better. It killed her to think that he'd felt anything for her and cheated on her and let her go. It killed her to think that he felt anything now, but still didn't want her. She would listen because it would help him, and the empty shell of her would return to Hogwarts when he was done.

[Emilian Sota]

Now that Adara had stopped Emilian didn't know what to do. "I hope you can be happy," he said finally. "You deserve better, and better than I could have given you. If I thought I could give you..." But he stopped himself and shook his head. There was no reason to talk in what ifs, it would do no good for either of them. He looked away from her for the first time.