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Post by Rowan Trace on May 28, 2011 17:24:04 GMT -5
Rowan was silent a moment at Keith's suggestion. No part of him believed they'd go out and not drink, they'd be deluding themselves if they thought they could manage it. Not going out at all, however, was in keeping with the professional-level friendship he wanted. "I have no problem hanging out at school," he said. "I never claimed I didn't like hanging out with you." They had gotten too comfortable too quickly, and a firm step back was an excellent idea.
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Post by Keith Evans on May 28, 2011 18:10:08 GMT -5
Keith eyed Rowan, then nodded. "So where are you going to draw the line?" he asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs. He wasn't entirely relaxed yet, but if he faked it enough he could convince himself he was. "No more tutoring? Can I tell you to tell your friends hi?" Could there be excursions into Hogsmeade if they needed a break from the school?
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Post by Rowan Trace on May 28, 2011 18:20:31 GMT -5
"I can't keep you from saying hello to people," Rowan said, mildly insulted, no matter how he wished Keith wouldn't. "And I'll start tutoring you again, if you want. I just needed time to sort things out." Time to get a comfortable distance, though he wondered if he could ever get comfortable with Keith at all. "I just want to keep our friendship professional, keep it school-based." It made perfect sense to him.
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Post by Keith Evans on May 28, 2011 22:01:08 GMT -5
Keith snorted. "Not much of a friendship, there." Get together and talk about school and only school, it sounded like a nightmare. Of course, Rowan didn't even think the past was important, so what was there for them to talk about other than school? His eyes slid away from Rowan to look out blankly across the room.
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Post by Rowan Trace on May 28, 2011 22:29:33 GMT -5
Rowan's jaw tightened at that dismissive noise, and his eyes grew cold. "Maybe our definitions of friendship are different," he said. "I don't have the time or the temperament to be constantly attached to someone, and I let you know from the beginning that my work would always come first. I can't see why you're acting so surprised at this."
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Post by Keith Evans on May 28, 2011 22:40:15 GMT -5
Keith shook his head. "Sorry," he said. He didn't want to get into an argument. "Maybe I should go before I dig a bigger hole for myself." It would probably be smart. He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward in the chair. "I'm trying to learn what's...appropriate, it's all part of the process." It could be tough getting to know someone, especially when that someone was so different from who he usually knew.
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Post by Rowan Trace on May 28, 2011 23:39:34 GMT -5
"It seems like quite a bit of work," Rowan said, as though to himself. He knew Keith would hear, and as he straightened the slightly crooked edge of a stack of papers, he wondered what the point of all that work was. To get attached to someone who'd just move on when the time came? To invest time, energy, and effort into something which wouldn't further one's career or improve one's lifestyle? He didn't need another friend, and he didn't need another liability.
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Post by Keith Evans on May 29, 2011 0:06:35 GMT -5
"It is, but it's worth it in the end, to have someone to hang out with and talk to, someone you can trust hopefully," Keith said. It was completely worth it. "If I didn't have a friend to talk to when everything was going to sh~ I'd have gone insane years ago." And if he hadn't put in the effort he wouldn't have had a friend.
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Post by Rowan Trace on May 29, 2011 0:49:40 GMT -5
And when all you had to worry about was yourself, things went to sh~ far less often. Rowan had plans, and he had backup plans. If something didn't work out, he knew what to do. He knew how to keep his job if he became ill, knew how to keep enough civil distance not to create enemmies or foster jealousy. If he had emotional issues, he had Kane to discuss them with, calming potions, whatever he needed. "You know, for people to talk to, counselors work quite well," he offered. "Plus, they're required not to talk about you with other people."
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Post by Keith Evans on May 29, 2011 0:53:32 GMT -5
"But that's so...empty," Keith said. "A counselor listens because it's their job, they tell you everything will be okay because they get paid to. There's no connection, no comfort, no sense that they really care." It would be worse to only have counselors to talk to. They had their purpose, but he would rather have a friend ten times over.
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Post by Rowan Trace on May 29, 2011 1:06:33 GMT -5
"Counselors give proven advice, keep enough distance for comfort, don't demand more than you're willing to give, and don't get all butthurt if you feel like concentrating on your students instead of getting sh~faced on the weekend," Rowan argued hotly. He closed his planner sharply and pushed to his feet, beginning his afternoon routine of cleaning off his desk and putting everything neatly in its place. If he was a bit harsher in the motions, he didn't realize it.
"I don't need people who constantly need to know what I'm doing, don't need anyone watching over my shoulder. I'm intelligent and self-sufficient, and so far, I've reached all my goals on my own. I wouldn't be where I am today if I'd spent my school years trying to make friends."
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Post by Keith Evans on May 29, 2011 1:16:25 GMT -5
"Fine, whatever," Keith said, standing as well. "If you want to live your life alone then do it. Apparently friends is a dirty word to you and I'm incredibly sorry for trying to get to know you." He shook his head and turned to leave. He didn't feel like getting in a fight. Maybe he would send Matthew an owl, or hunt down Dare to talk to instead.
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Post by Rowan Trace on May 29, 2011 1:24:54 GMT -5
The tension in Rowan's jaw spread to his shoulders and down into his stomach, which churned with nerves. "If you're going to sling insults, just leave," he said bitterly. "You're just proving my point, anyway." And he'd wasted at least a quarter hour on this useless argument. He could be in the planning stage for an extra credit project, and instead he'd be stopping by Kane's office—no, going directly to the nurse for a calming potion. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Perhaps he'd just turn in early and wake up earlier in the morning to get things done before class.
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Post by Keith Evans on May 29, 2011 1:38:10 GMT -5
Keith closed his eyes and took a deep breath that didn't really help that much. "I'm sorry," he said, turning around. "I just think that we're social animals, that friends are important, and it frustrates me when people think they're just fine alone. And you're proving my point getting all tense and pissy about it all." It obviously struck a nerve for Rowan.
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Post by Rowan Trace on May 29, 2011 1:48:36 GMT -5
Keith's apology did little to help. Perhaps Rowan's fury at Keith lessened slightly, but He still felt sick with tension, and he still wanted desperately to throw something, to yell bitterly and give Keith such a withering set-down that he'd guarantee himself peace for the summer.
"Maybe people are social animals," Rowan said tersely, "and maybe they're sexual beings, and maybe they tend to flock together and feed off each other, but I do not and I am not." He bent to pick up his book bag from the floor behind his desk, then began tucking inside all the things he'd need to work from his quarters. "You can't generalize like that."
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