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Post by Rowan Trace on Apr 17, 2011 15:18:41 GMT -5
Rowan had sent an owl to Keith the night before, asking to meet in the Charms classroom rather than his quarters. It had almost been a notice of regrets, eight and a half inches of parchment apologizing for his behavior the past weekend and any signals he may have given that he was interested in more than a professional friendship.
Remembering had been difficult. The information had come easily enough, at least the bits he'd gathered, but he hadn't wanted to accept it. He didn't understand it, it didn't fit into his neat, tidy world, and at last he had to write it off as one of the most stupid things he'd ever done while drunk. Or sober, for that matter.
He didn't blame Keith, didn't think the man had taken advantage of him, but took full responsibility. He was in charge of himself, and he was fairly certain that if he had refused, nothing would have happened. As it was, he only recalled hazy flashes; Keith's hands on his body, his own willing participation, and the fact that he couldn't remember any objections, before or after.
It was intensely uncomfortable to think about, and so Rowan had poured himself into his work. Maybe he hadn't let students pack their belongings until the last minute necessary to be on time for their next classes, and maybe today they'd gotten an extra 16cm essay, but the students would survive one difficult week. Plus, next weekend he intended on going out alone. Maybe he'd talk a few people into raving with him.
He stood in the classroom now, robes on as usual, glasses perched on his nose, and business written across his face. He was practicing his own Charms, a routine he'd built up long ago in school to keep himself from slipping on his basics. Avis wasn't one people used often, nor were most of the others, and he had them all perfected, but it was relaxing.
Anapneo, Avis, Confundo...
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Post by Keith Evans on Apr 17, 2011 16:26:24 GMT -5
The letter brought more uncomfortable feelings than remembering had for Keith. He hadn't really known what he would do when it came time to see Rowan again when pieces of the weekend had floated into his memory. How was he supposed to react? But the letter, and the relocation to the Charms classroom, felt painfully...correct.
But I reserve the right to say 'I told you so' if something happens. His friend's words echoed in his mind as he put together the brief glimpses of memories he had found. It had been impossible to keep his thoughts from racing and tracing a thousand what ifs. He knew he shouldn't have even considered the what ifs, but his imagination enjoyed running wild. The letter had put a hard stop to those thoughts.
Still, as he headed toward the Charms classroom, still in his robes after his last class of the day, he was determined to act normal. He paused outside the room and took a breath, then walked in with what he hoped was a believable, easy smile. "Hi," he said as he came in. It was harder to keep up his friendly expression when he saw Rowan, however.
Keith didn't remember much, but he remembered bits of conversation, remembered offering the kiss when Rowan said it wasn't worth it. It had been an experiment, but that didn't mean he could brush it off easily. Maybe he did have a little issue with his mind running wild over nothing. "How are you today?" he asked.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Apr 17, 2011 20:42:13 GMT -5
Rowan stopped what he was doing, and with a flick of his wand ended the spells he'd begun. "Good," he answered, his voice light and casual, however distant it might be. He straightened a bit, preparing himself for the unpleasant inevitable, and gave himself one last reminder that he hadn't sent the letter because he respected Keith enough to discuss it in person. "About last weekend," he began.
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Post by Keith Evans on Apr 17, 2011 20:54:13 GMT -5
Keith felt a tingle wash over him, a feeling that shouldn't be as familiar as it was. A feeling of straight nerves, a mix of excitement and anxiousness that was gone in moments. "It was a fun weekend," he said, coming to a stop closer to Rowan. He didn't know what Rowan would have to say about it, but he would let him start the conversation.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Apr 17, 2011 21:57:39 GMT -5
"It was," Rowan agreed. He didn't let himself move nearer or further, despite the distance he wanted to take, but held his ground and mentally prodded himself. "I just wanted to... apologize for any mixed signals I might have given. It was unprofessional, and I don't want to mess with our friendship." He paused, hoping he hadn't gone too far, but it felt like they were at least beginning to be friends. He'd rather declare friendship a bit soon than lose the best conversation at Hogwarts entirely.
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Post by Keith Evans on Apr 17, 2011 22:19:02 GMT -5
Keith's eyes moved out over the room after the whole mixed signals thing. "It's not a big deal," he said. "I mean, stuff happens. I wouldn't want to assume anything, I don't want to ruin the friendship any more than you do." Even so, he wondered vaguely what it would be like to repeat it sober. Friendship could always become something more, but he knew he shouldn't consider that.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Apr 17, 2011 22:23:38 GMT -5
Rowan let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and a shadow of a relieved smile teased at the edge of his lips. "Good," he said. "I'm glad we got that cleared up." It had been a lot simpler than he'd imagined, and he mentally chided himself for having gotten so worked up over it. Of course he didn't have anything to worry about. Keith was as level-headed as he was. "Are you ready for your lesson, then?"
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Post by Keith Evans on Apr 17, 2011 22:29:57 GMT -5
"First, um," Keith said, reaching up and running a hand through his hair. "I mean, we've touched on it, not sober, but still. I'm really physical, I always have been, and my friends always were. So...if I ever cross any boundaries, just tell me, would you?" He hadn't expected it to be any kind of issue, but considering what had happened over the weekend, it was probably best to mention it.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Apr 17, 2011 22:36:31 GMT -5
Rowan's smile faded, and though his response was quick in coming, a rush of decision-making occurred before he knew what to say. He was a very private person, with a strong personal bubble, one he could feel being breached long before anyone touched him. He'd met physical people before, and tended to be uneasy around them, always waiting for the next unexpected touch against his shoulders or arms. He didn't like it, and he didn't want to deal with it.
But Keith, he reminded himself, had never crossed a single boundary sober. Apparently he hadn't drunk, either, since it turned out his personal bubble had disappeared somehow. Either way, it wasn't something to worry about, and so only a moment later he nodded. "Of course," he promised. There may have been a niggle of concern after the words were spoken, but Rowan was sure it would pass.
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Post by Keith Evans on Apr 17, 2011 22:47:39 GMT -5
"I'm generally good about it," he said. "I don't touch people when I first meet them, unless I meet them at a club or something. Sometimes I forget, especially when I get comfortable or, of course, drunk." Which meant that the longer they were friends the more likely he would slip up. "You can hex me or something if I get too far out of line."
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Post by Rowan Trace on Apr 17, 2011 22:55:43 GMT -5
Rowan attempted a chuckle, but only managed a smile. "I'll remember that," he said. It was something he usually didn't have to worry about, but he had to tell himself that it would be idiotic to stop hanging out with Keith just for fear of his personal bubble being trespassed on. He generally didn't have problems. Of course, Rowan didn't have a thought as to the number of times per month he leaned away from someone or created space when he needed more. It was second nature to him.
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Post by Keith Evans on Apr 17, 2011 23:06:23 GMT -5
Keith nodded, "So, what's your plan for me today?" It would be best to just move on. "My friend back home gave me a hard time for getting these lessons." He had never been a charms person, but it didn't hurt to try to get better. His buddy hadn't seen it that way. It was something he would have to get used to, the teasing was apparently only going to get worse the longer he was away from home, it seemed.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Apr 17, 2011 23:54:35 GMT -5
"Then I'll have to teach you something badass," Rowan said, relieved again at the turn of conversation. This was something he understood. He thought for a moment, setting aside the assessments he'd intended to use this time, and after a moment asked, "Can you do a disillusionment charm?"
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Post by Keith Evans on Apr 18, 2011 0:02:58 GMT -5
"No, I can't," Keith said, shaking his head. "I haven't had any reason to learn it." He knew what it was and what it did, but as he didn't generally have a reason to hide from anyone, or hide anything, for that matter, he had never taken the time. "Is it complicated?" Sometimes it felt like he was still recovering from the weekend, like his mind was still a little fuzzy.
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Post by Rowan Trace on Apr 18, 2011 0:09:34 GMT -5
"It's like Apparition," Rowan explained. "The hardest part is the concept, and once you've got the mental down, the physical follows." He forcibly ignored his own reference to physical after the talk that had just ended, and mentally corrected himself. "Of course, in disillusionment, you can't get splinched."
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