The Mirror of Erised (Dare/Michael)

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

"She'd like it," Dare said, thinking back to the last time they'd brought Elouai here. "Maybe she'd go in the water longer." She'd only just run in when he and Michael had been getting out and dressing to go home, but she probably wouldn't hesitate a second time. "Maybe this weekend or something when we can get in and out without worrying about the time. There would be more students around, but he didn't think most of them would mind a dog.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"That sounds good," Michael answered, nodding. "We could make it a regular thing, until it gets too cold." A few moments later he rolled over and moved over to Dare, bringing a hand up to run it over his dark, wet hair. "It could be like...a family thing." What kind of reaction would that get from Dare, if it got a reaction at all? Well, at least it was a start.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare blinked, but told himself that Michael might not have meant that as a hint. "Yeah," he said softly. Really, what else could he say? He wasn't going to bring it up, and he'd rather Michael didn't either, but he had a feeling it was going to keep coming up. He just didn't get the draw. Their family of three was good for him.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael knew that just bringing it up wouldn't do much, but as it was he had absolutely no idea what kind of time frame he was looking at. It felt like pushing to bring it up again, even if it really wasn't, at least not technically. "Do you have any idea...when you'll be ready?" he asked, though he shifted his gaze up to the sky. "I know, I keep bringing it up...but what does not ready mean for this? Are you...waiting for something?" What would it take for him to be ready? Was this what Dare felt like before he went to Kane to talk about his own physical issues?

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare blinked and looked off over the water, then moved back just a bit in the water. "I don't know," he said, but went on before Michael could ask again. "It's like, we barely have time for us, we don't have time for anything else. We've got school now, and your shop, and going back and forth, I don't know. We don't have time to raise a kid." He looked back at Michael, fully recognizing the irony in what he was about to say. "I'm happy where we are."

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"It's not like our lifestyle is going to change any time soon," Michael pointed out. "We've both graduated, we have jobs, this is where we're going to be for...for the rest of our working lives." If Dare was waiting for the day to suddenly have an extra five hours, that certainly wasn't going to happen. "I'm hiring help with the shop, once they get settled in I'll just be doing general upkeep things, we'll get used to teaching soon enough." Everything would even out. "I'm happy, I am...I just...keep thinking about it." Did it sound as strange as it felt to say that?

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

"Then we'll wait until it settles down," Dare said. "It's not fair to a kid to spend like an hour a day with them and I just got this job. I don't want to quit." And they couldn't drag a kid around with them at work. There was no daycare at Hogwarts. He wasn't ready! They weren't ready. "Ask me again when I'm twenty."

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"So turning twenty will suddenly make it all okay?" Michael asked. "Neither of us would have to quit, anyway. If you didn't want to get a babysitter we could alternate classes or something, we could figure it out. Our schedule won't just make time for a kid without us trying." It felt like he was starting to push it too hard, but it was so rare that something just fell into place for them.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

"No, Michael. When I'm twenty I'll have worked for a while, maybe I'll be ready then," Dare said. "I haven't even taught for a year, I'm not asking to go part-time and make them hire someone else to teach half my classes so we can alternate daycare." He seriously couldn't imagine Hells letting them teach half-time. Being a Hogwarts professor was a full-time job and he wanted to treat it like one, at least for the next year.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"Even if we tried it now it would be nearly a year before we have to worry about that, anyway," Michael said, then looked away. Chances were that it wouldn't be successful immediately and even once they were they would still have to wait nine months. "I'll ask you in a year." He shook his head, that was so far away, and he would be thinking about it, but this still wasn't going anywhere really.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare nodded, but didn't look at Michael as he did so. He took some distance instead, trying to let the water soothe him when the thoughts wouldn't leave. He felt bad making it such a definite no when Michael seemed to want it so much, but he wanted to be ready first. What was wrong with that?

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael didn't look at Dare and after a moment headed for shore. He didn't know what else he could say when all he was getting was a vague ask me in a year and maybe I'll think about it. It didn't make sense why Dare would just say no and refuse to even try to get to where he was ready. He didn't want to fight, though, and he was just going to leave the tension.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare didn't stay out much longer. He swam a bit, but it didn't help so much as deepen the feel of a gulf spreading out between them. He scanned the treeline before getting out of the water, drying himself quickly, and tugging his jeans back on. He wanted to say something, but what could he say? He left his hair in curls, hardly thinking about it as he dressed.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

It only took a couple of minutes before Michael decided to put his robes back on. "I'm going to head back." He didn't know how much longer their break was, but there was no point staying out here when they were like this. After classes they could go home, and though it wouldn't just suddenly be better home was comfortable.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare nodded silently. He felt like he'd royally screwed up, but what else was he supposed to do? There wasn't any kind of daycare at Hogwarts or in Hogsmeade, or on Diagon Alley, and how could he just know that he'd be ready next year? They couldn't start now and just hope that in a year they'd be ready for it. It would be way too late to turn back if they weren't. "I'll see you tonight," he said.