Gabby's Agony Pages

[Gabby Brocklehurst]

Dear Auntie,

I know what women want; unfortunately, the one I want most isn't willing to share, leaving me a one-trick pony. This being the first time I've played the monogamy game, I'm feeling stifled. Not to mention the girl who got away. In order to be with one girl, I had to give up another that I might care about.

So my problem is: do I stay with a girl who's my opposite because the conversation is great, or do I let her go for the other girl? I've only slipped up once, but I don't know if it could happen again. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Made my Bed and Lying in it


Dear Made my Bed and Lying in it,

It sounds like you're having problems staying exclusive to one girl. This could mean that subconciously you aren't as commited to the relationship as you think you are; it seems that you two are great friends, but is there anything more? Is your current relationship worth more than the one you could be having with the other girl? And are you truly sure this other girl is worth ending your current relationship for.

If you feel that you definitely want to be with the girl who got away, then maybe you should end your current relationship. If you then start a relationship with your other girl and it's what you really want, you should have no trouble staying faithful to her.

These are matters of the heart, so the best advice I can give you is to listen to what it's saying, the answers are probably in there. Ask yourself these questions and you will find the answers. Also, don't try and play both girls at once, because then you might end up with neither.

Sincerely, Agony Aunt

[Gabby Brocklehurst]

Dear Gabby,

I am having difficulty in a relationship that I simply cannot end. The boy in question has been nothing but kind to me, and far more patient than he ever knew he was capable of. I am certain that he has allowed few people as close to him as I have grown.

Even so, I know that, outside our relationship, he can be an entirely different person. I will not repeat the things he has done, but they involve serious allegations, not to mention other women. I worry that the potential I see in him is only that--potential.

What am I to do?

Sincerely written,
Hopeful Heart


Dear Hopeful Heart,

First of all, it is a positive thing that you can see the good in this person who you are in a relationship with, as some people would not be able to.

You are probably nothing but a good thing to the other person as you seem to bring out his good qualities. But you say that he has had allegations made against him and been involved with other women. If this all happened during your relationship then regardless of your good effect on him, it seems that this sort of behavior is ingrained in him.

You say that you cannot end your relationship, yet if he has been cheating on you and been causing such serious allegations, then maybe you would be better off not in that relationship. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who respects you and your feelings, and I think that in your current relationship you aren't getting that.

All I can say is don't act rashly, because that might do more damage, and if you feel that you can talk to him about it then do. If you don't find a trusted friend who has known you since before this relationship and try talking to them about it. Finally, if you ever feel that he has done something that compromises your happiness and feelings, then maybe it is time to end your relationship as it might be going nowhere.

Sincerely, Agony Aunt

[Gabby Brocklehurst]

Dear Agony Aunt,

I’ve dug myself into a hole, one that I cannot escape, drowning in regret and loneliness. I wish for someone to pull me out, but I fear that, that day shall never come. Nor will he ever be my savior.

I have tried to help, tried to keep myself away, but I’m not that strong, I wish I were, I wish that these emotions could no longer shackle me down, that I could break free of the hate and fear that enclosed itself around me.

I knew that up until recently he was taken, that someone else had beat me to him, and now that she no longer has that hold, would it be right to go for him again? Morally I feel like I should keep my distance, as to not make that same mistake. Although deep down inside, I want nothing more than to try again, hoping that one day I will be saved.

Sincerely,
Tormented Mind


Dear Tormented Mind

Firstly, recognising these feelings and asking for advice is a good start for you. It sounds like you have been some tough times and you just want someone to be there for you.

It seems like you have a lot of issues that you need to confront. Instead of trying to tackle it all at the same time, start with something small and deal with things one at a time. It may take longer but be patient and ultimately it will be better in the long run for you.

With regards to the guy, you may feel like you need him to help you, but friends can help just as much. If you do still want to be with him, I would suggest that you wait awhile until you approach him, remember his relationship has just ended and he might not want to get involved with someone straight away.

I hope this helps and just follow your heart,

Agony Aunt