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Post by Druscilla Grace on May 20, 2009 22:07:40 GMT -5
"Is your engagement final?" Dru asked, mostly without thought. She realized it was her suppressed emotions and thoughts coming up and she sighed and gave up trying to push them away anymore, it was useless. "I suppose there's no use to ask if there's another chance available." It was much more a statement than anything even resembling a question.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 20, 2009 22:54:28 GMT -5
Chase hadn't even had an opportunity to decide how to answer Dru's question before she threw him for a loop. All his fighting to hold up walls stopped and for a moment he could only stare in disbelief. Then he shook his head, though not in answer to her question. "You don't even f~ing trust me—" Was she playing with him? But no, when had she ever done anything like this? "Yes, I'm engaged, the papers are signed anyway, but it's not official." Why was he telling her this? "Does it matter?" Chase caught himself and wondered what in hell had gotten into him. But still he wondered; did it matter if he was? If it was only a technicality?
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Post by Druscilla Grace on May 20, 2009 23:02:06 GMT -5
Dru looked up at him and chewed her lip. So she had gotten an answer from him...what are you going to do now? Well she certainly hadn't planned on this at all. "That's according to how you feel about me," she said. What in the world had happened to her? She never would have done this before, but she was so tired of playing around, she just wanted it all over with. "You know how I felt about you, no matter how horrible I was," and it's still there. It's buried deep, but it's there. There, it was out, for him to blow off or take as he wanted.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 20, 2009 23:21:44 GMT -5
"You know too, you just never believed me," Chase said. He tried to push away the memories, but they were so insistent now. He shook his head, half turning from her to spear one hand through his hair.
How am I to know that you wouldn't just go back to how you were before?
You more than f~ing like me, and you know I more than f~ing like you! I've been changing for you! I didn't have to stop seeing other girls, I did it because I wanted to, because I wanted you, that's why I wouldn't ask you before, I wanted you to see..
He'd done everything he could to prove she could trust him and it hadn't been enough. It was never enough. And apparently it was never over, either.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on May 20, 2009 23:27:21 GMT -5
Dru dropped her head and didn't speak for a few long seconds. Then she finally looked back up at him and uncrossed her arms. "I know. And...I'm sorry," her eyes dropped to examine her hands. "I was really...immature about...everything. I didn't know what I wanted and I didn't know how to get what little I did know. And then by the time I got it I had already messed everything up too badly." Forgive me? She didn't expect him to, but she hoped.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 21, 2009 9:12:57 GMT -5
This was too surreal. Chase did a mental check to be sure he hadn't fallen asleep in a corridor somewhere, but no, this was real. Inescapable. He hated that she could do this to him so easily, and that he couldn't find it in him to push her away. He'd been pushing people away for so long now. He ran his hand again through his already mussed curls, trying to think of what to say. This wasn't a formal meeting where everything was part of a script anyway. "I can't say no," he managed. He couldn't say yes at this point, but it was his answer. He brought his gaze back to Dru's. He could forgive her if she could forgive him.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on May 21, 2009 11:01:45 GMT -5
Maybe they had needed the time apart, Dru knew she had grown since the last time they had been together, or maybe it was just because she had gotten so tired of everything going wrong that she was able to speak. When Chase spoke, she looked up for what felt like the thousandth time. "Can we start over?" A voice whispered, reminding her that he was engaged, but it was apparently set up by his father, right? Even engagements could be broken...
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 21, 2009 11:25:21 GMT -5
Hadn't he asked her that once? He wondered now the same thing she'd asked him then; how was that even possible with all their history? Even so, he didn't want to pick up where they'd left off, with her refusing to trust him and always giving those disapproving looks, him resenting every word she spoke. He didn't know how it would work either way, but he couldn't pass it up. He looked away, nodding, then brought his eyes back to hers, crimson flickering at the edges. "It'd have to be quiet, though." Would she accept that? Wasn't that why she'd left before? It was a different reason this time, but would it matter?
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Post by Druscilla Grace on May 21, 2009 11:37:24 GMT -5
The voice from so long ago screamed no, that she wouldn't keep it quiet. But that had been what ruined them last time, wasn't it? Her refusal to accept what she could get? Wanting more than he was willing or able to give her? She closed her eyes for a moment and then nodded. It was just a trial, anyway, right? There was no reason to go through the trouble of breaking up an engagement made by his father for a chance that probably wouldn't work in the end, anyway, knowing their track record.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 21, 2009 11:55:27 GMT -5
Despite Dru's agreement, Chase's nerves were stretched tight. He wanted to give her some kind of concession, but it wouldn't feel right telling her she'd be his girlfriend even if he knew that was what she'd want to hear. He had no intention of breaking off the engagement; Carolynn was, to all appearances, the perfect wife. She'd put him in a good light with her innocent charm, and when he spoiled her with all the little things she liked, he'd appear generous as well. It was a good arrangement.
He'd always known, and he'd told Dru, that he was going to marry for appearances some day, that he'd enter politics despite lack of interest. He'd always intended to balance duty with whatever else he needed, but he'd expected at least to be married, and for his wife to be with child, before he sought other company. He'd worked so hard developing a preference for one girl to the exclusion of others that he wasn't at all sure how he'd be able to handle this.
He looked down the corridor again for some long moments sorting his thoughts before he turned back to Dru. "If there's something official between us, if we know, would that help?" He'd refused to put any kind of definition to what they'd had the last time, not until the end when he'd been sure he could keep the promise. She'd said something about being upset that she couldn't call him her boyfriend. If she could, even in her own mind, was it enough of a difference?
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Post by Druscilla Grace on May 21, 2009 12:04:52 GMT -5
It seemed so cruel that this was happening now, but still, Dru nodded. "Yes," she said softly as she found his eyes. She wanted at least that much, even if she refused to let herself go as far as she had before. He's engaged. She closed her eyes. That was something she couldn't help, and if she wanted this chance, she would have to live with it.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 21, 2009 12:29:04 GMT -5
For a moment, Chase didn't know what to do next. Or rather, he did, but he was so used to pushing it back now that it was difficult to let himself. He gave brief glances down the corridor, his attention seeking out anything that might be nearby, but aside from the sound of their breathing, there was nothing.
He turned back to Dru, letting himself actually look at her now, and his chest constricted again. He tucked his wand away, then brought his fingers lightly beneath her chin to guide it up. "Can I kiss you?" he asked softly. How far back were they going?
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Post by Druscilla Grace on May 21, 2009 12:43:20 GMT -5
"Yes," Dru breathed when she opened her eyes to look at him. Kiss me. She had wanted a kiss for longer than she would openly admit to him, but it showed in her eyes, in how they searched his before dropping to trace lips she knew so well. They moved up one more time and she shifted closer to him.
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Post by Chase Firebrand on May 21, 2009 13:08:07 GMT -5
Chase didn't wait any longer. He closed that last bit of space between them and brought his lips to hers. That first contact was a shock to his system. A rush of physical memory came back to him, bringing along the residue of everything he'd once felt for her. For less than a second he paused, gathering himself together. Then, when he had himself reigned in, he moved his lips against hers.
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Post by Druscilla Grace on May 21, 2009 13:18:21 GMT -5
Dru felt a rush when Chase's lips touched hers and she brought one hand up to wrap lightly behind his neck. The memory of how it had felt was nothing compared to kissing him again, and she shifted closer still, close enough that she could feel his body so close to hers. Her lips parted, silently encouraging a deeper kiss.
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