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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 15, 2009 16:32:18 GMT -5
"I stayed away from you like you wanted me to!" What, was he supposed to hunt down Markise? Ariel knew it wouldn't have done any good. "And yes I did drugs! They made me feel good, like you've never done something stupid when you were miserable. Besides, it's not like you have to worry about any of that now, you're leaving, right? And besides that, I don't have money for a night at the Leaky Cauldron, much less anything else!" Sometime while he had been speaking he had stood, but he was holding his head to keep himself steady.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 15, 2009 16:41:28 GMT -5
Markise turned back to Ariel, his eyes narrowed. There were a hundred things Ariel could have done, and Markise had spelled them out for him the best he could. Ariel could have tried to stop whoring, he could have accepted Markise's help instead of pushing him away over and over. He could have said any of those things about caring or being close to happy or happy, or whatever it was, during any of the times that they'd gotten along, no matter how brief. Instead, he'd kept up whoring and added drugs to the lot.
"Yes, I'm leaving," Markise said acidly. He turned and slipped out the door as quickly as he could, and somehow made it to the bottom of the stairs. He couldn't leave, though, and he didn't know why! He sat heavily in the chair behind his worktable and cried.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 15, 2009 16:57:46 GMT -5
Ariel groaned and forced his stiff body to the door, then down the stairs. He refused to let Markise go! "Markise!" he called, then came to a stop when he saw him at the worktable. "Markise..." he said, softer, gentler this time. "I'm sorry...I...I don't know what to do." He stood at the doorway and rang his hands together.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 15, 2009 17:13:29 GMT -5
Markise flinched slightly at the sound of Ariel's voice, and he struggled to breathe, to at least stop the visible signs of crying. He wouldn't let himself look back at Ariel, and turned his face away. "That's because you won't listen to me," he said softly. He couldn't tell Ariel what he wanted to hear, and Ariel dismissed everything he said. He'd given Ariel so many chances, tried so many times to help. He'd given Ariel a job and offered to sleep with him so he wouldn't have to whore anymore! He now owed St. Mungo's a chunk of the money Larten had invested a shop he was abandoning, only so Ariel could get a drink of pain potion. He had tried.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 15, 2009 17:17:01 GMT -5
Ariel leaned back against the edge of the door frame and looked down, just in case Markise turned to look at him. His eyebrows creased as he thought. "I...I don't do well with the whole listening thing," he said uselessly. "I grew up figuring everything out on my own. I thought..." He had thought he could do the same for this, but it was painfully obvious how very wrong he had been to think that.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 15, 2009 17:22:59 GMT -5
Markise's jaw set. If there was anything Ariel didn't do, it was think. "Don't ask for help if you aren't gonna f~ing accept it," he said, then pushed to his feet. Why had Ariel followed him? He was just rubbing in how completely useless Markise was. Ariel had said that he didn't know what to do so many times. He'd said so many things that Markise couldn't pick out the truth anymore. He was working steadily to rebuild walls he'd had when he'd walked into the shop as he turned to leave the workroom. "Go back upstairs, I said you could stay."
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 15, 2009 17:32:19 GMT -5
"I just need...." Ariel looked up at Markise, couldn't he help? Ariel never would have known how very much he had missed growing up. Would he have been able to know how to fix this had things gone differently? He didn't know! "I need someone to show me how," he said, ignoring Markise when he told him to go back upstairs.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 15, 2009 17:39:27 GMT -5
"I've tried!" Markise exclaimed, turning back toward Ariel. His gaze flickered reflexively over him, then shot away as he tried desperately to hold back another wave of tears. "I made it as easy as I could, Ariel," he said, softer now, but with no less emotion. "I begged you to work for me, I begged you to sleep with me so you could get it out some other way, and it would have killed me to do it!" He wiped at his eyes again. "I'm tired of giving, Ariel. I don't have any more to give. I'm so tired..." There was nothing left but numb and hurt. He couldn't live like that.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 15, 2009 17:47:44 GMT -5
Ariel felt lost, he had ruined his chance and now he wasn't going to have the option of having another one. "Then...but then I didn't know....I thought I could do it on my own. Now..." he closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, then slid down the wooden frame to sit on the floor. He opened his eyes to stare at nothing, eyes showing his confusion, probably showing the most emotion they ever had. "I can't."
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 15, 2009 17:53:12 GMT -5
"Fifteen minutes ago you could!" Markise argued, keeping Ariel firmly out of his line of vision and pretending he couldn't see him in his periphery. "You haven't changed since that night, you didn't change in fifteen minutes and I'm not letting you do this to me again!" He tried to calm down again, reaching almost desperately for the white-gold chain around his wrist. You're better than that. "There's nothing I can do that hasn't already failed. Please let me go." He could leave if Ariel just told him to.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 15, 2009 17:57:22 GMT -5
"Fifteen minutes ago I was too scared to go with the Healer," Ariel argued, "Anyone that's done anything at all like what I've done would have been, too." No matter that he knew what he was doing was wrong or what he thought about it, he didn't want to get in trouble with the Ministry. "And how can you say I've not changed?" he asked finally, watching Markise for another moment with his arms wrapped around his knees before he put his forehead on his knees.
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 15, 2009 18:03:34 GMT -5
"Because you keep doing it. Saying you're sorry isn't changing," Markise said. Ariel had started whoring that very night, and he was still doing it, regularly coming back into Markise's life to hurt him. To warn Markise that he was going to hurt him, then make sure he did so. "If you've suddenly changed, let me take you to the hospital," Markise breathed. He wouldn't believe words anymore. Never again; they were worthless.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 15, 2009 18:08:30 GMT -5
"What if they find out and turn me in?" Ariel asked his knees. Then he closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. "Would that make you trust me?" He knew that trust was a lot to ask now, even if he did go, but he couldn't...he couldn't think of any other word to ask that simplified it all down to just one thing. What if it was just a way for Markise to get him somewhere so that he could just leave?
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Post by Markise Sterling on May 15, 2009 18:14:14 GMT -5
No, Markise thought. It was far too late for that. Ariel had destroyed Markise's trust, then decimated it. He didn't know if it was even possible to build again. "It might help," he said anyway. At least he could feel like he'd done something to get Ariel out of the life he'd dragged him into in the first place. At least he wouldn't have to live his life wondering if by taking Ariel to that club, he'd signed a death sentence for someone that could have been so much more.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on May 15, 2009 18:18:58 GMT -5
Ariel picked his head up and looked at Markise. Basically, he could either stay there and let Markise leave and pray everything got better soon enough that he didn't miss much school...or he could go and pray that Markise stayed and not miss a week of classes. Eventually, he nodded, "Can I have a shirt, though? I don't know when I would be able to pay you back..."
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