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Post by Kane Garrett on May 12, 2009 13:52:01 GMT -5
Kane nodded again, taking a moment to think. It sounded like Dare might need, or might have needed, counseling more than he'd thought. "That's a lot of stress all on its own. How did you cope with it all?" he asked. "You said that Dare's friend had talked to you about the potions. Is he a support system at all?"
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 12, 2009 13:57:42 GMT -5
Michael held back a snort. "He...cares a lot for Dare, but me and him don't get along very well normally...and he and Dare fell apart. I honestly don't know how we got through it." It was almost like magic how it had just fixed itself. But maybe all they had needed was to wait it out. That didn't feel right, though, they hadn't talked through much of it at all, even that night that Michael had broken down.
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 12, 2009 17:09:34 GMT -5
"But how did you get through it, Michael? What did you do with the stress? Art, maybe? Work? Or did you try to block it out?" Kane would guess that the latter was the case more often than not, but apparently the problems had been going on for months.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 12, 2009 17:13:34 GMT -5
"A little bit of all three," and a lot of the last. Michael didn't think that needed said. "I don't know how I got through it. But I don't want it back." So I don't ask questions. He didn't want to pull it out and examine it only to bring it all back again. It seemed so very likely that it would all come back easily. The morning had only cemented that belief.
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 12, 2009 17:17:17 GMT -5
Kane was silent a moment at that, trying to get all the things that Michael hadn't said. But he didn't let the silence last. "What are you, both of you doing to keep it from happening again? Have you talked about any of it with each other? Open communication is vital to any close relationship."
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 12, 2009 17:20:23 GMT -5
"We've...talked about it..." Well, no, not really. Dare had apologized, Michael had blown up, but they had both tried to move on. He didn't want to talk about it! Especially not with Dare! How hard was it to understand that? Talking about it would just bring it all back, and it was too soon, and too close to the ceremony, for them to go back.
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 12, 2009 17:25:17 GMT -5
Kane wasn't at all convinced. "Sometimes it can help to have a mediator for things that big. You might both come in some time, and I can help keep things cool. I don't need an answer now, just think on it and let me know what you decide. That sound okay?"
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 12, 2009 17:30:12 GMT -5
Michael shook his head, he didn't want to bring Dare in to talk, they did fine talking on their own. "He's not gotten potions since, and we're fine now...except for today." He looked up at Kane, pleading with him to understand. "I don't want to go back to how we were at the beginning of the year!"
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 12, 2009 17:34:03 GMT -5
Kane was silent for another moment. It looked like they'd need to bring the fear out before Michael could face it. "What is it you're afraid of? Not just in general, be specific. What's the worst thing that could happen if you two talked about the potions, got everything out. What, exactly, are you afraid will happen?" It was a question a lot of people balked at, but sometimes describing that worst thing could put it into perspective.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 12, 2009 17:42:13 GMT -5
Michael stared at Kane, wide-eyed, before he licked his lips and looked down. He shifted in his chair and leaned over his knees. "We'll go back to how it was then, we won't talk, we won't touch." We won't kiss, we won't hold hands, we won't tell each other I love you. Then he would lose more weight and really make himself sick.
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 12, 2009 17:49:32 GMT -5
"So you're worried that you'll repeat a mistake you're still recovering from?" Kane asked, trying to clarify. "Are you afraid of being distant again, or that it might last? That it might end things?" Distance was a rational fear, but Kane still suspected that there was more.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 12, 2009 17:57:46 GMT -5
Michael didn't know what to answer, he was afraid of all of those, but he also felt like there was no way things could end. When they were good, they were amazing, it just so happened that the past few months had been a huge up and down ride. "The distance was worse than anything," he said finally.
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 12, 2009 18:02:33 GMT -5
Kane nodded at that. "Do you think the distance will disappear completely? Has it?" If they had only had a superficial conversation, which was what Michael had implied, despite words to the contrary, then it seemed like there was distance. "Was the distance this morning new, or could it be a kind of echo of something that's not finished?"
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on May 12, 2009 18:11:01 GMT -5
Michael shrugged and left his shoulders hunched up around his neck. "We've talked about things since and we've been fine. We talked about...someone he was close to and I was fine, and I told him about...someone I used to be close to and he was fine with it. Both times I think we were both afraid to talk about it, afraid of what the other would think, but it worked out."
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Post by Kane Garrett on May 12, 2009 18:13:52 GMT -5
"Then maybe you have moved past it," Kane suggested, "but it just hasn't caught up with you yet. If so, what's different about this conversation? The potions, or even the weight you've been losing?"
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