HOROSCOPES

[Anonymous]

Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Happy Birthday, Taurus! This month, as an extra special treat, your horoscope will be delivered telepathically! Just stare at the tip of your nose for the exact minute of your birth and it will come to you!

Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Avoid quidditch this month if you don't like the idea of being decapitated by a snitch. (Yes, you heard me right.) I'd stay away from pointed quills too.

Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Don't let a depressing lack of chocolate get you down - And no, Felix Felicis is not a good alternative! Hang in there, the end of the month will reward you with your heart's true desire, if you'll let it.

Leo
July 23 - August 22
Oh dear, it's probably best you don't know.

Virgo
August 23 - September 22
The Lunar Cycle this month declares that love is approaching fast. The current position of Jupiter suggests that you should hex any potential mates or you will find yourself in a cursed relationship.

Libra
September 23 - October 22
For you, this month is full of....Nothing. Look at the bright side, it could be worse. You could have gotten attacked by a pack of carnivorous pixies instead.

Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Yes! Stop asking yourself the same question over and over! The answer will still be Yes! Oh, don't forget to take your potion.

Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
This month, the stars are writing your destiny in the night sky, either that or disaster. Take the toss of the gallon and go with it. You won't regret it.

Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
This month, be very wary of gossip and three-toed sloths. If you forget to blame your misdeeds on others you'll find yourself buried in dirty cauldrons and no wand.

Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
The stars have it in for you this month! Lock yourself in the deepest vault of Gringotts. Even then you might not be safe enough!

Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Are you getting the feeling you're being stalked? It's not your imagination, but it might not be a bad thing. Either invite them for a drink or place a few well aimed curses....Otherwise you'll be stuck until Venus is in the third house.

Aries
March 21 - April 19
You will be cursed by a Wizard. Don't worry, their aim is poor. A butterbeer will prove to be a wise purchase this month.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Don't forget to take your potion? Whoever you are, that's just bad form there.

[Anonymous]

Aries
March 21 - April 19
Happy Birthday, Aries! This month will be all sunshine and happiness. For someone else, but don't let that get you down! As long as you avoid all humans and pumpkin juice, you ought to live through it!

Taurus
April 20 - May 20
L et's face it; no one cares. Why don't you go cry about it?

Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Now is the time to act! Or, barring that, have a good laugh behind your hand at the expense of your friends. Don't worry, they need to learn to relax a little anyway!

Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Make the best of the hand you've been dealt and you'll come out Light years ahead. Your adoring fans are hovering in wait for your next big miracle. Your super-amazingness will shine through when you least expect it!

Leo
July 23 - August 22
Old flame got you running in circles? YOU have the power, don't let them forget it. Also, steer clear of the road and any blonds you might find hanging around. You could survive the whiplash, but not a two-ton lorry!

Virgo
August 23 - September 22
When life hands you lemons, make chocolate milk and grin as everyone asks how you did it. Unless you don't like chocolate milk, in which case you're pretty much out of luck. Grab a Taurus and make some lemonade.

Libra
September 23 - October 22
If you want to be loved, you need to follow this age-old wisdom to a T: Lather, rinse, repeat. As for your Scorpio fetish, watch out for snakes and you should be fine.

Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
WAKE UP! Seriously, how long have you been in that slump? Time to get over it, buddy, get dressed, go out, and party like a rock star. Stop thinking and go!

Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Things have just started to mello out for you, but don't be a door matt. A friend or loved one may be feeling tied down, and you'll need to step up to the challenge of keeping them happy. Otherwise, you may end up like Taurus. Ouch.

Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Your lucky name for this week is Near. Enjoy playing with all your toys, but you might want to warn your consort about the dangers of a painful and hideous death!

Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
You and your lover's signs are complete opposites, so why aren't you clashing? Understanding your differences is all well and good, but you need some excitement or you might as well feed yourself to an acromantula.

Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Screaming loudly will only wake the neighbors. They won't come until they're sure you're dead and the criminal has left the scene, so make the hard decisions without their input. Use your gut instinct while you still have guts.

[Celyn Corvus]

My Scorpio fetish? I'm pretty sure none of the guys... wait. The writer of this horoscope has obviously been writing this and stalking the students. Coincidence? I think not! Now reveal yourself so I know who to send a howler and a good hex to.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Actually, me and Silver are Scorpios. Ha ha. Did they seriously stalk our birthdays, or what? When I'm not so wiped out maybe I'll check around. Oh, and Markise is either Aquarius or Pisces, one of the water ones. *falls asleep at computer*

Edit: Makes me feel less obsessive in comparison.
//.-

[Celyn Corvus]

Whats more amusing than that is that Trent is also a scorpio! OMG I do have a Scorpio fetish! Which one is the snake -eyes Silver-. I demand that this person reveal them-self! Or I swear I'll go around harassing everyone on Magikal...

Ok so maybe not to that extreme, but my mind will consider EVERYONE!

-pokes Dare's sleeping form-

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Ow. *wakes up as commanded*

Michael's a Slytherin alumnus, that's the first snake that comes to my mind. As far as I know you haven't gone after him, though. //.o Michael is also a Sagittarius. Lessee... *goes into stalker mode* Markise is Aquarius, and there are a ton of Scorpios. Me and Silver, the Head Boy Chase, and you said Trent. You'd be a Libra. I didn't find any others in the few people I checked.

I like this horoscope a lot more than the last one. Party like a rock star versus take your potion? Yeah.

[Celyn Corvus]

Haha, maybe I should go after the Head Boy just for the fun of it. Besides, even if he's become a one women man (well... emotionally at least) sometime old habits die hard. Besides, he seems to have a thing for Ravenclaws...

Or would you rather I go after Michael Nah, you can keep him, as long as I'm allowed to pinch his adowable cheeks

I prefer this horoscope as well (not that I was around for the first one) mostly because I don't want nothing ;D

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael is MINE. Besides, it says watch out, right? So that means if I ever get past my writer's block we'd better be careful in that secret pathway thread. //.^

[Celyn Corvus]

-backs away from inching towards Michael- ok ok KEEP HIM -is still planning on pinching Michael's cheeks-.

It's ok Dare, I wont make the moves on you, one Blackwood is enough

Whisper:Although harmless flirting would be amusing

[Anonymous]

Taurus
April 20 - May 20
It's finally your turn to shine, Taurus! So don't complain when you fall into a vat of radioactive glitter.

Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Your beauty and elegance are admired by all. So be especially careful walking the lonelier corridors of Hogwarts. It would be a shame if that Furnunculus spell was permanent!

Cancer
June 21 - July 22
The great Bobby McFerrin once said, "Don't Worry, Be Happy." Take that to heart. Also, avoid kneazles with measles.

Leo
July 23 - August 22
Don't bite off more than you can chew, Leo. And whatever you do, don't let that Jarvey's gossip influence how you treat any strays you might come across. Viva la France!

Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Romance troubles got you down? Stop looking for love in the Forbidden Forest and take a walk to the lake now and then. The Giant Squid is more amiable than you might think.

Libra
September 23 - October 22
There's caution, and there's walking on the boring side. If you want excitement, then go find it! Just avoid anything with razor-sharp fangs and you should live through it.

Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
You might start preparing for your imminent demise soon. Whether it's in the near future or the far future doesn't matter. You'll be able to rest easy knowing where you'll be resting eternally.

Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Wish you well, I cannot stay. You deserve an award for the role that you played, role that you played. No more masquerade, you're one lonely star.

Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Your lucky name for this week is Marius. You've got a style all your own, just try not to force it on your human lover or they'll spend eternity hating you. Good luck with that.

Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Either wake up and smell the hummus or go jump off the Astronomy Tower. NOW! There's no time to waste!

Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Quit all that grinning. It's starting to freak people out.

Aries
March 21 - April 19
Have a good laugh at the expense of Virgo and a few Scorpios. Then bend over and kiss your butt goodbye, because a giant golden eagle will be carrying you off as dinner for its young. Bon Appétit!

[Celyn Corvus]

OMG!!! THE HOROSCOPE DUDE (or chick) IS BACK!!!!!!

Ehehehehehe, WTF?!?!?! OMG I preferred my Scorpio fetish one -out of curiosity, reads the Scorpio one-

OMG so Lyric or Dare or Chase or Silver or Michael could possibly die -eyes Lyric- OMFG HELL NO!!! -hyperventilates-

Nah this is complete and utter BS -eyes the horoscope with twitchy eyes-

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Bloody effing hell. Michael's not a Scorpio, he's a Sagittarius, and Dare's been having health issues. We all know Lyric's got issues. I don't care which one of us you were picking on, that's just... bad form. Bad form.

[Celyn Corvus]

-pats dare- the horoscope person shall reveal him/herself soon -shifty eyes- but I cant think of ANYONE who would do this. -muses- I say we terrorize people with blackmail owls!

[Ocean Abbott]

Blink. A golden eagle? Shifts hair. I have golden hair. Am I going to carry myself off?