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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 28, 2009 15:36:39 GMT -5
Markise knew something was wrong, but not what it was. He forbade himself from coming up with scenarios; he didn't want to sink back into depression and loneliness, not when Ariel was right here. "You can talk to me," Markise said softly. His gaze shifted, watching his fingers now as they smoothed lightly against Ariel's jawline or up into his hair. "I'm not going anywhere tonight," he whispered. He didn't want to argue, so he just wouldn't. He wanted to feel close to someone, and with sex removed from the equation, this was it.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 28, 2009 15:49:18 GMT -5
Ariel didn't want to talk, to bring up...his job, it would take away everything that was making this comfortable. No, he couldn't talk to Markise. "Have you opened your shop?" he asked, a clean and easy subject change. If the shop started to get good business, would Markise still want to leave? He couldn't imagine having a way to support himself and then just leaving it like that, but Markise was different than him.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 28, 2009 15:57:16 GMT -5
Markise's chest tightened again, with disappointment this time. Still, he couldn't bring himself to push, even if the alternative was a reminder of how much distance there always had been and always would be between them. His eyes dropped now, along with his hand. He curled his arm slightly between them and let his fingers move lightly against Ariel's shirt. Markise nodded. "I did," he answered. "I was going to send you an owl." He had intended to, eventually. He'd been afraid that telling Ariel would be too close to an invitation though, and so he'd put it off. Things had been getting to be too much to deal with lately, though. He'd been so incredibly close to sending that invitation. And then, after his talk with Michael, he wouldn't have. Except Ariel had found him anyway.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 28, 2009 16:09:54 GMT -5
"What are you going to do if you leave?" Ariel asked, firmly ignoring the slight pain that had come from the withdrawal of Markise's hand, even if it had settled at his chest. He also realized that he had said if, he refused to think that Markise leaving was set in stone, there was always the chance that he would stay anyway. Ariel wanted him to stay.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 28, 2009 16:25:03 GMT -5
Markise's brows knitted at that question, one he hadn't thought about nearly as much as leaving. He ducked his head down slightly, tucking it against Ariel so he felt just that much more protected. "I don't know," he said softly. He hadn't made enough money yet to pay Larten back, and he was going to pay Larten back, disappeared or not. "I can afford employees," he said. That would use more money, but if it meant he could go home, it would be worth it. "I could send whatever I make." So far, no one really knew he existed. On one hand, it was bad for business, but on the other hand, that was what he'd wanted, wasn't it? To stay under the radar?
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 28, 2009 16:34:45 GMT -5
Ariel rested his head lightly against Markise and tightened his arms just enough to count. "If you weren't in school, would it help?" he asked softly. Not that he really agreed with dropping out, but if being away from the people that made it bad would help, then maybe Markise could stay and just run his shop. Then Ariel wouldn't lose him completely.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 28, 2009 16:56:38 GMT -5
Markise shook his head. "I'm lonely, Ariel. And I'm tired of pretending to be someone else. And I'm scared of people knowing." The only reason Anna knew was because she'd caught him when he was drunk and dragged it out of him. "Friday isn't enough anymore." It was only a few hours, and the rest of the week everything built up unbearably. Even when Anna wasn't busy, there were so many things he couldn't tell her about. And what he did tell her, she tended to laugh off. Maybe Ariel understood?
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 29, 2009 10:42:55 GMT -5
Ariel felt for Markise, he didn't want people to find out any more than Markise did. And it had to be worse to pretend for Markise, who was so much more...flamboyant than Ariel. Ariel himself had only gotten over hating that part of himself a couple of months before, and then the self-hatred had only moved on to something else. "Would it help...seeing me? I mean...like this?" he asked, at least then Markise would have another day he could be whoever he wanted to.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 29, 2009 11:55:57 GMT -5
A heartbeat passed before Markise nodded in his place tucked against Ariel. "It would," he admitted shakily. He didn't want to think about how much it would help, but he knew it would. He'd have someone who knew, someone he wouldn't have to hide anything from. Or at least, hide as much from.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 29, 2009 12:01:47 GMT -5
Ariel tightened his arms slightly and tilted his head to press a light kiss to Markise's hair. "Do you ever think about coming out?" he asked softly. He couldn't imagine doing it, he was perfectly fine the way he was, being open around the people at the club and with Markise, while everyone on the outside was none the wiser. He stared off into the room.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 29, 2009 12:14:18 GMT -5
Markise shook his head adamantly, reflexively curling farther into Ariel. "No, I'm not doing it again," he said firmly, if softly. "Enough people know." He wished Anna didn't know. He knew it had made her feel a lot better about their friendship, that it had removed an element of guilt for her. He knew that her finding out had been a huge step to letting them be as close as they were, but she didn't understand, and so he was almost as careful as he'd been before, the only difference being that when he slipped up, he didn't need to rush to a cover up.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 29, 2009 12:24:14 GMT -5
"What happened last time?" Ariel asked, though at the same time he wondered if he was right to ask. At Markise's motion closer to him, Ariel had unconsciously moved his hand over Markise's back where it had picked up a slow, long motion over the worn fabric of the shirt. His mind flew back to when he had still been at his old school, where he had never been able to live down his name, and he wondered how bad it could have been had he actually confirmed their suspicions.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 29, 2009 13:01:52 GMT -5
The question brought the same reaction it always did, and Markise's muscles tightened with remembered stress. He licked his lips, taking a moment with his eyes squeezed shut to breathe and let the feel of Ariel's warmth and the motion of that strong hand soothe him enough to speak.
"At first I just heard stuff, but then... I'm not big and I can't fight... I started getting pushed into walls and on the stairs. I... It sucked, but I could've lived with that." Markise was silent for a while after that, trying to decide how to put what had happened next into words. In the end, he just put it as simply and quickly as possible to get it over with. "I got attacked one night and my parents pulled me from school." He was silent then, his breathing shallow as he waited for some kind of judgment.
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Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Mar 29, 2009 13:11:31 GMT -5
Ariel's eyebrows came together and his eyes hardened. For everything he had done to Markise, he hated the thought of him being hurt. "People are a~holes," he muttered, bitterness obvious in his voice. "I wouldn't have let anything happen to you," he said, even if he knew that he wouldn't possibly had been able to keep everything from happening. He would have helped, though.
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Post by Markise Sterling on Mar 29, 2009 13:17:59 GMT -5
Markise's eyes squeezed tighter, and his arm slipped from between them, wrapping tightly around Ariel. I wouldn't have let anything happen to you. There wasn't a moment that Markise didn't believe that. For all the times that Ariel had been an a~hole, he'd never left Markise when he found him hurt somewhere. Some time passed before Markise could speak again, and even then it was nearly inaudible. "Thank you for that zapping spell," he murmured. It had worked just as well as Ariel had said it would.
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