Missing (Markise/Anna)

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna sat in the chair closest the fire rereading the words on the parchment; the feather of her quill brushed against her cheek while she pondered her words. Dissatisfied, she crumpled the letter and tossed it into the fire. Her tired eyes flickered over the similar wads of paper that hadn’t quite made their destination before she took another piece of parchment from her small pile.

An owl near the back of the shop hooted with impatience. “Shush Juliet, I’m hurrying.” She knew the owl just wanted out for the night, but she really wanted to get this letter sent and have it off of her mind. Once again she set the tip of her quill to paper and let the sapphire blue ink spread in much more graceful writing then she could ever get out in person. “There. I guess that will do.” With a sigh, she reviewed the words before scratching her signature at the bottom.

[Markise Sterling]

Markise had been talking with Anna every day lately, and on the second day that he didn't find her in the lunch room or the library, he'd decided to hunt her down immediately after school. He supposed he could have hunted the castle or the grounds, but the trip to Hogsmeade would actually take less time, and she'd told him that was where she tended to disappear to.

Hogsmeade wasn't very large, either. Markise had no trouble finding the book store when he actually looked at the shops rather than heading directly toward the club. He wasn't at all surprised to see the shop open, nor Anna sitting inside near the fire. He wasn't really surprised at the inside of the building, either. His eyes did one sweep, then he headed for the seating area he remembered almost hazily from that hangover a few weeks ago.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," he said, letting the door shut behind him.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna looked up at the sound and gave Markise one of her genuine smiles, glad for the distraction. "Hey! You're a good interruption. So, what will it be, Business or Pleasure?" She teased him as she rose to meet him. She set the letter on the table, glancing at it before trying to push her recent thoughts about it aside. As soon as the ink dried, she'd let Juliet take it , if she could find him. If not, it would have to wait for the morning post.

[Markise Sterling]

Markise's lips quirked, and his eyes glittered as he headed for the little seating area. "Pleasure, definitely," he said, letting his voice go sultry for the tease. He pushed back his hood, exposing pale skin pinkened by the cold. "Not that I have anything against books, but well, you know me." He stood by his insistence that he was more of a physical being than an intellectual one, though the difference did make for interesting conversations with Annabelle.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

"Its better that way - I hate making a profit off of my friends." Anna gestured around the store, presenting it to Markise."Welcome though. I do have a different selection than the library, which is why most of my customers come here instead of just checking the books out. I guess you've more or less seen it before; It's basically the same....well, don't mind the mess." Anna had forgotten about the crumpled papers by the fireplace until her gaze had fallen on them while looking around the room when gesturing. She quickly moved to the floor by the fireplace, and bending down, tossed each remaining discarded paper into the fire.

[Markise Sterling]

Markise made a low sound of polite interest, then turned his gaze back from the store, where he'd followed Anna's gestures. "What mess?" he teased, pretending he didn't see Anna disposing of it at that very moment. He tugged his gloves loose and tucked them into his pockets, then slipped out of his coat, laying it aside on the nearest chair. "It looks like you've been busy today," he observed. "What were you writing, if it's any of my business?"

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna looked up at Markise as she stepped away from the hearth. Instead of sitting back in the chair she'd occupied since she'd arrived, Anna chose to sit on the couch as they had in the Room of Requirement. She hoped Markise would follow her lead and sit on the couch too; she didn't know why, but sitting facing someone always felt more distant.

Her teeth caught at her lower lip in contemplation of whether to shrug it off or tell him about the letter and everything that went with it. When they'd first started becoming friends, there had been so much else to talk about. The longer she waited though, the harder it became to breach the subject of Chase which she had only hinted at briefly. She picked up the letter, scanned it, then with only a moment of hesitation, held it out to Markise. "I know I've mentioned Chase, not by name though. He's the guy I told you I was seeing, it's to him." She knew the letter wouldn't explain things, but it would give her an opening to fill him in.

Dear Chase,

I can’t take our missing each other as anything but avoidance anymore. I know you never wanted a part in anything between us, and that we were never committed to any form of relationship. However, you know what happened with Michael. I’m hurt by your actions of mimicking him by pulling away and leaving me alone, wondering if you’re ever coming back. I think we both know I care for you, so I won’t criticize your intelligence by trying to hide it. Whatever I did wrong, I’m sorry.

I’ve enclosed a copy of the documentary I promised I’d find for you on the train. You can use the Room of Requirement on the 7th floor to watch the movie. I made sure it would work for us the day we got back from holiday, but haven’t had an opportunity to show you personally. Whatever your reasons for eluding me, please don’t toss the movie just because it was I that gave it to you. I hope you enjoy it and all the technical things I failed to explain. You seemed really interested, and I couldn’t keep this from you even with the way you are treating me.

Yours truly,
Annabelle

[Markise Sterling]

Markise took the letter warily as he sat beside Anna on the couch. He'd expected a quick run-down, not an invitation directly into things. All the same, he read what was on the page, completely confused by the time he got to the end. Not that she hadn't explained herself in the letter, just that he had no concept of the kind of twisted relationship it looked like she was in, or had been in. He looked up at Anna, knowing everything showed on his face.

"So he's never wanted to be with you, and you're sending him a present, and you're surprised he's being an a~hole?" he asked. It just didn't make sense. Anna was too smart to throw herself at someone like that, wasn't she?

[Annabelle Hennessy]

"It's complicated." Anna broke contact with Markise's gaze, unable to explain herself with him looking like that and stating it so simply. Instead, she looked down at her hands which were folded in her lap, idly rubbing one thumb against the other as she tried to gather her thoughts. "He broke through my barriers that I have against guys so easily. He does want me; we both have this....attraction to each other like I've never felt before. But, well, he's not a romantic at all. He thinks all monogamous relationships turn sour so there is no reason to try. That's why he told me he didn't want anything with me, cause he knew I'd just get hurt."

Anna took a breath, finally looking back at Markise and showing him how conflicted she was. "I knew I would too, but I couldn't just turn my back on how I felt for him. I don't even know why I was so insistent, I just had to see what was between us. In the end, I proposed an agreement of sorts, a mutual non-relationship I guess. I know it was basically selling myself short, but it was the only way to be with him. He just can't see the good side of himself, why I would be willing to alter my own beliefs of relationships just to be with him. After everything with Michael, Chase offered a lifeline that I needed to feel normal, to feel wanted."

[Markise Sterling]

"To feel wanted," Markise repeated almost incredulously. "Anna you're so much better than that! I swear I've told you this before, but selling out for attraction never works out. You get hurt, and no matter if there's a good side, you can't change someone who doesn't want to change!" Maybe he wasn't being as gentle as he could have been, but it hit close to home. He had to believe it. He knew there was good in Ariel, but it didn't matter because it was never coming out. Ariel liked the way he was living, and he didn't want to change. He wouldn't change.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

"It's not only attraction though. There's just so many things that make us good together, that the differences of view on relationships didn't matter so much." Anna closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch cushion to try and think of the reasons. The night she'd broken up with Michael clearly came to her mind. "Maybe it seems like making excuses, but he really is a good guy underneath it all. He was there for me, he listened to me, and shared stuff about himself to make me feel better."

Anna realized she wasn't telling things very clearly and tried to back up a little. "When I was with Michael, I was always hesitant physically; we barely did more than kiss without me freezing up. You know, like I used to do with you the first few times you put your arm around me or something. It was never like that with Chase. If I froze up, he would help me get through it instead of backing away. The night I broke up with Michael, he came and listened to me. I even think I snapped at him, and he still stayed. He got me talking about other things, arguing even, and helped me forget." She wouldn't say how he'd got her to forget momentarily, but a blush rose across her cheeks at just the thought.

[Markise Sterling]

Markise wasn't the least bit fooled by Anna's omission. It all sounded like excuses to him, the same excuses he'd used so many times, most especially with Ariel. Ariel, who had almost completely dominated his thoughts, and more so since Larten had disappeared. His lips had pressed into a tight line as he listened, but after just a moment of silence, he parted them again.

"I've been there, Anna," he said, his voice tight with the emotions behind it. "I had issues someone worked me past, and it was so easy. So easy and I knew things they wouldn't even admit to themself. There was so much there, and we fought, and we worked it out, and they didn't want to be happy. They wanted to experience life. There's no saving someone who doesn't want to be saved, and one good side effect isn't enough to excuse being a heartless bastard." Markise only just caught himself, and his lips pressed tight again as he looked out toward the fire instead of at Anna.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Annabelle couldn’t ignore how similar Markise’s tale was. Experience life. That had been Chase’s main goal: to live. Countless times he’d encouraged her to do things instead of only thinking or reading, and talked about having regrets for not experiencing all life had to offer. She gave a sigh of resignation before opening her eyes. “I still don’t think he’s just a heartless bastard.” She looked over at Markise before following his gaze and staring off into the fire as well. She didn’t like to hear that there hadn’t ever been any reason to hope, and that Chase couldn’t ever change. Parts of her thought he secretly wanted to change, but the rest of her mind told her he was too stubborn. “So what do you do about it?”

[Markise Sterling]

Markise gave a tense shrug. "If I knew that, I'd have moved on. Easier," he added, hoping Anna hadn't caught that. He had moved on. He'd started that odd friendship with Mano, then he'd gotten with Larten, but apparently all it took was seeing Ariel and it started all over again.

"I don't know he's a heartless bastard, Anna. Mine isn't even entirely heartless." Not with his tendency to rescue him over and over and expect nothing in return. "I don't know. It's just... settling is for people who think they can't do better. You can do better, I know you can."

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna closed her eyes at the moisture that suddenly built up. Markise had so much faith in her abilities to do better, when she'd lost hope of even being good enough for the person she was settling for. She knew she hadn't had the best choice in guys; the first had tried to control her, the second had turned gay, and the third didn't believe in relationships. She knew deep down that if Chase walked through that door right now, she'd take him with open arms. The tear that was threatening finally escaped at the thought, and she quickly brushed it away with the back of her hand. She wasn't sure if Markise had seen, but tried to distract attention by giving him a compliment. "No I can't, the only decent guy I know doesn't like girls."