|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 15, 2009 11:10:15 GMT -5
Ariel closed his eyes briefly at that small reward and told himself firmly that he couldn't just take like he could before Markise had left. He wanted to, though, and he couldn't keep it from showing some in the dance and in the way he pulled himself just a little closer to Markise. At least he finally had Markise against him again, even if he knew it wouldn't last long.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 15, 2009 12:31:27 GMT -5
Markise's brows knitted at the intensity, and God, the feeling of that hard body at his back. It felt so wrong, so good, so... familiar. Markise's eyes blinked open from where they'd slipped closed. It was impossible. Ariel was free, even if he was here, why would he? Ariel couldn't dance, but it felt like him. Markise began to tense. What if it wasn't, what if he was wrong? He turned his head slightly toward that warm breath, refusing to look as he asked, "Who are you?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 15, 2009 13:41:46 GMT -5
Ariel's hands tensed slightly at the question and he opened his eyes to look at the lightly shining skin of Markise's neck. "Does it matter?" he asked, his lips lightly brushing Markise's ear. He wasn't quite ready for Markise to figure it out and the dance to end. It was too early for that to happen, and he hoped that he could maybe keep Markise distracted enough not to realize.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 15, 2009 13:48:27 GMT -5
Markise pulled a quick breath, and for a moment his eyes closed again. He wanted to say no, that it didn't matter. He wanted to keep going, wanted to play along with whoever it was, maybe let himself believe that it was Ariel, just to hold on to what they'd had before the royal f~up that had been his first trip to London. But he couldn't. He had to think of Larten, had to remind himself that he couldn't let this go farther than it had. It was hard to do, though. His mind was hazy from the drinks and from the rush of sensation from the dance. "It matters," he said, unsure whether the words would even be audible over the music.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 15, 2009 14:01:13 GMT -5
Ariel closed his eyes as he tried to think of how to answer. He hadn't so much heard the words as guessed at them. "You know," he answered finally, only then opening his eyes to watch Markise's skin again as he pressed his palms to Markise in their places. He had hoped to be able to wait longer, but it seemed like he had reached the end of his luck.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 15, 2009 14:11:24 GMT -5
Markise's breath caught, and he lost his rhythm entirely, faltering, then stopping in place. His breathing quickened, but he couldn't make himself pull away, not when it still felt so good. "I can't," he said, fighting against the wall of emotion threatening to crash over him. He tensed again, and then his hands caught at those on his hips, pushing them off and shaking as they did so.
"I can't do this, why are you doing this?" If part of him hoped that Ariel would beg for him, that he'd somehow manage an impossible apology that would fix everything, that he'd say things he hadn't even felt, he didn't let himself even begin to think about it. He needed to get away before Ariel broke him again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 15, 2009 14:22:29 GMT -5
Ariel took Markise's hands as they pulled his away. "Hoping for another chance," he said. He didn't know that he would be able to do anything long term just yet, but he had experienced things he had never been able to before, so he knew he could at least control himself better should Markise actually agree to anything.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 15, 2009 14:31:43 GMT -5
Markise shook his head, more than refusal of Ariel's offer in the motion. He wanted to pull his hands free so he could turn and look at him, knowing that would break the spell of being so physically close, of having Ariel's body behind him.
"You had your chance," he said, the words thick with emotion. "You had your chance and you blew it, I only asked you to keep your pants on, that's all I asked, and you f~ someone else, f~ed some stranger for money while I was on the bed next to you!"
He'd had more than enough solitary time that first month to piece together the flashes he could recall into something that made sense. Markise tugged at his hands, trying to move forward enough to put up an actual fight. It was so hard.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 15, 2009 14:39:24 GMT -5
Ariel tightened his hands, silently trying to get Markise to listen to him. Of all things, he hadn't expected to explain himself, but how could he not? "Of course I did!" he said, as though Markise should understand just like he did. "I grew up having maybe, maybe ten galleons at a time," he said, voice tense. "And can you blame me for taking the money? To have an experience?" Markise knew that Ariel hadn't had the chance to explore, he had known the dangers, though if money hadn't been involved, he never would have agreed as long as he was with Markise.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 15, 2009 14:49:18 GMT -5
Markise bristled at that and tugged harder on his hands, uselessly it seemed. "If you wanted money for something I'd have given you money! You could have at least dumped me first! Or dumped me after, but you f~ed me too. I trusted you, and... what if you'd gotten something, what if you'd given me AIDS? Yes I blame you, I hate you!" It was a childish thing to say, but Markise was hurt, and it was the worst insult he could think of. Ariel had f~ed some random stranger, and he'd taken Markise later without any kind of protection. It was worse than cheating, it was a personal betrayal.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 15, 2009 15:05:01 GMT -5
"I wouldn't have taken any money from you," Ariel said, still holding Markise's hands. "I got that it was wrong to do that while I was with you. But nothing happened to you, I was safe that night," he added, thinking that that was the most important thing. Nothing had happened, so what was the point of worrying about it still? "Besides, I didn't plan on doing anything with you that day! You were the one that came after me into the shower."
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 15, 2009 15:15:58 GMT -5
"Because I trusted you! I was half in love with you, you f~ing bastard!" Markise didn't bother demanding to be let go again. He knew that would be enough, that Ariel would let him go now and walk away. Ariel just wanted to get laid, though Markise couldn't see why he'd bother with him when he could make money at it somewhere else.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 15, 2009 15:30:25 GMT -5
Ariel's heart stopped at that confession, but he didn't let go. "No you weren't, you barely knew me," he said, shaking his head. Granted, Markise had known him better than anyone else had before, but surely it wasn't enough. "There was no way you were...that." He couldn't believe it, he wouldn't believe it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Markise Sterling on Feb 15, 2009 15:42:02 GMT -5
Markise gave another sharp, useless tug, hating that Ariel could still affect him like this. It was like the time between had just disappeared, even if he could feel the changes. "I would have done anything to make you happy, Ariel. Did you think I told you you could go do whatever you wanted that night because I wanted to be with someone else? I knew I'd lose you if I held on too tight, and I lost you anyway. I just wanted you to come back to me!" He could have forgiven Ariel for a night exploring, but he'd expected to at least be dumped if Ariel moved on!
|
|
|
|
Post by Ariel Logan Callahan on Feb 15, 2009 15:49:03 GMT -5
"I did come back to you!" Ariel said sharply. "If I remember correctly, I cam back to you dancing on a table!" It was only afterwards that he had done what he had, and even then he had made sure to take care of Markise. He hadn't been proud of himself, and he couldn't even say he was proud of what he did anyway. He knew he wasn't perfect and that he had made a huge mistake, but he couldn't accept Markise being so blindly angry with him.
|
|
