No. (Closed thread)

[Adara Snow]

"I saw the way you looked at that boy, Markise," Adara said, reflexively pulling away from Emilian's hands. She didn't want him to touch her, to hold her and convince her that she was wrong with only his kisses as explanation. "If you do not want me anymore, if I am only the girl who was living with you, then let me go, because I can not take this wondering! I am tired of living for a dream that will never happen because only I wish to see it!"

[Emilian Sota]

"I can't keep my eyes from looking!" Emilian said, his voice a little more forceful than he meant. He closed his eyes and took a breath, trying to calm himself again before looking at Adara again. "If I didn't want you, if all you were to me was the girl living with me, then why would I have suffered through all of that time with your father? For all I knew you had forgotten me while I was there!"

[Adara Snow]

"Oh yes, I had someone else write those letters to you!" Adara snapped, still shaken from how sharp Emilian's voice had been just a moment ago. "My father left you no choice about going to Germany, Emilian. And there is quite a difference between looking and... that kind of looking, and inviting him over for a drink!" Adara's mind was a jumble, and though she managed to parry Emilian's arguments, she couldn't think of her own anymore. She could, however, think to attempt sidestepping Emilian to continue on her way.

[Emilian Sota]

"I didn't get any of your letters until a week before I left! He had kept them from me!" Emilian snapped right back, then glared off to the side. "I did it without thinking," he said, "When I told him that. I wasn't going to do anything with him, I just thought he might like a drink." So he had a weak argument for why he had said that to Markise, but it was all he had, and he knew it was better than lying about it.

[Adara Snow]

It was what he'd said before, and it sounded just as odd now. Adara wanted to be able to pinpoint what was wrong with it, but she couldn't, and since he hadn't stopped her from going around him, she took advantage of the fact and kept going. "Do you normally invite strangers that you do not intend to do anything with into your home for a glass of wine?" Adara asked as she slipped past him and continued on her way. He didn't even seem to understand why she might be upset! Obviously he had done nothing wrong since his return, and how dare she find fault in any of it?!

[Emilian Sota]

"Fine!" Emilian said, turning to follow her. "It was wrong, I know that, if he shows up I'll kick him out! Does that make it better?" he asked, his frustration showing through. He had done so much to keep them together and now it was all going to fall apart because he had made a couple of mistakes? He was moving quickly from frustration to anger and he couldn't figure out what to say to make it better.

[Adara Snow]

Yes, that made it better, at least a bit, and though Adara realized how spiteful and terrible such a thought was, that didn't change the fact that she had felt it. And, of course, it also helped that he was no longer standing there attempting to make pitiful excuses. Adara didn't turn to face Emilian, but she stopped, and worked to keep any kind of mutinous look from her face, though there was no helping the sharp gleam in her dark eyes. "That would be a well-appreciated beginning," she said.

[Emilian Sota]

About time, Emilian just stopped himself from saying out loud. "And what can I say next?" he asked instead, coming around in front of her again. It didn't seem very likely that he could think of something on his own, or even that she would tell him what he could say. It was worth a shot, though. He had to come up with something, or maybe they could go on and forget it all.

[Adara Snow]

Adara's brows drew together over slightly narrowed eyes at that question. "I do not wish to hear an echo of my own words, Emilian," she said. She could see how angry he was, but she was angry too, and still hurt, even with the small bandage that his one concession had been. She was highly uncomfortable in the role of aggressor, but she refused to submit wholly again and continue wondering and hoping that some day wasn't an empty dream.

[Emilian Sota]

"How can I fix this if I don't know what to say!" Emilian didn't know what to say, not when everything was so complicated and everything that came from his mouth seemed to just make things worse. He wondered if just not talking would help, but something told him that that wouldn't help at all, that it might even make it worse, too. He pulled up a hand and rubbed the back of his neck under the collar of his coat.

[Adara Snow]

Adara caught her lip between her teeth and looked away, her head bowed a bit as she tried to think of what she could tell him. She didn't know what she wanted him to say! She knew what had upset her and she had told him all of it that she could think of, and he had come to one conclusion. Eventually. But what of everything else? "I do not know what to tell you," Adara said.

[Emilian Sota]

Emilian clenched his jaw tightly and stared at her for long moments before turning his head sharply away. He put his hand back firmly in his coat pocket and tried to think. What else could he tell her that would help? He had no idea. He had told her everything he could think of, and it wasn't enough. "What do you want, then?" he asked, forcing his eyes back to Adara.

[Adara Snow]

Adara finally gave up her rigid posture and wrapped her arms around herself, holding her book tightly against her chest. "If I knew, then I would tell you!" But she didn't know. All she knew was that there was something missing, and she was sure she'd never see it, not if she lived to be a thousand. "I want to be able to... not worry," she said, then bit her lip again in preparation for Emilian's reaction, whatever it might be.

[Emilian Sota]

"Well, then," Emilian said through clenched teeth. "What do you expect me to do, Adara? Fumble around until I figure it out?" He had a feeling that wouldn't work very well. He looked off and shook his head, tightening his fists in his pockets. It had better get better quickly, or he didn't think he could handle it. He didn't think that it was right, that he had waited for her and then for her to do....this.

[Adara Snow]

"I don't know, Emilian!" Adara cried, those first few tears finally making good on their threat and slipping down her cheeks. She wanted things she didn't know if he would ever give her, things she didn't know if he could give her. "I am tired, Emilian," she said at last. "I am sorry I have upset you." She was exhausted, and she could hardly think anymore, let alone make demands that her conscience would not allow.