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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 13:57:08 GMT -5
"If I don't think you would have been fine, then what I did was even more stupid," Michael said, crossing his arms around himself. How could he not believe it, it had been the only thing he could tell himself that would have made it worth it, that Dare would have had the chance to be happy. He hung his head, thinking that his hopes had gotten him in more trouble than he had thought they could.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 14:04:06 GMT -5
Dare turned back to the bed, pants in hand and stared at Michael in disbelief. "Michael, that guy is a f~ing bastard, he scared the sh~ out of me before he even pulled his wand. I know what you were trying to do, and I know you were doing it because you love me. I knew it then, too. You offered up the rest of your life to save me, but Michael, I wouldn't have gone. Soren couldn't have made me, and you couldn't either." Dare didn't know how he could say it better, how he could explain. "I wasn't afraid of you leaving because I wouldn't have let it happen." He turned away then, moving to pull his sleep pants on.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 14:17:10 GMT -5
Michael watched Dare as best as he could with how his eyes had adjusted to the dark. "I was terrified he was going to kill you," he said softly, knowing all too well how easily it could have happened. Knowing that he wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. He didn't think he would have been able to live with seeing that happen, he knew that he couldn't have stopped himself from going after his father.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 14:35:32 GMT -5
Dare was silent for some moments before replying, his voice as low as Michael's. "So was I," he admitted. He'd been rushing through what he'd fully expected to be his last words when Michael had... come to his senses? Dare wasn't even sure. "Would you have done it?" Dare asked, the words hesitant and nearly inaudible, even in the quiet of the room. "Would you have talked to Grey?" Would you have joined the order? Dare sat on the edge of the bed, away from Michael. Had his determination to save Michael been for nothing?
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 14:46:07 GMT -5
Michael didn't answer immediately. When he did, he felt like he was just disappointing Dare. "I don't think I would have had the chance," he admitted softly. He knew that he would have gone after his father, and he knew that he wouldn't have been a match for his father, not in the state he would have been in. He wouldn't have been able to hold his own against the man after seeing Dare die.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 14:57:43 GMT -5
Dare bowed his head and shook it slowly, his heart aching from the words. "We're really something, aren't we?" he asked, the words far more statement than question. Apparently either of them would have given up everything for the other to go on. And the other wouldn't have made it anyway. It sounded wrong in his mind, but no matter how he tried to think of it, he couldn't imagine either of them having done anything differently.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 15:11:23 GMT -5
Michael swallowed hard and shook his head. He pulled his head up to look at Dare. He couldn't tell himself that he thought it was all over, the possibility of something happening was too real in his mind. "We'll be okay," he said softly, nodding, more to convince himself than Dare. Maybe it wouldn't be soon, but they would be.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 20:45:37 GMT -5
Dare nodded, but didn't look back at Michael just yet. He knew they'd be okay, they had to be. They hadn't gone through all that, hadn't risked their lives for each other just to walk away. And the past weeks... Dare looked over his shoulder at Michael's silhouette. The past weeks had been incredible. Every time he thought he couldn't be closer to someone he got proved wrong, and his heart ached with the need for that closeness. Dare moved, shifting back to wrap his arms around Michael again.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 21:06:21 GMT -5
Michael moved closer to Dare and wrapped his own arms tightly around Dare's waist. "I love you," he said softly, his voice slightly choked. He couldn't imagine feeling more for anyone, he was glad they were apparently fine again. He didn't even begin to think that Dare was okay, but maybe they could get through the night and talk about it in the morning. Maybe he could drag Dare outside and into the snow and bring his spirits up again.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 21:12:28 GMT -5
"I love you, Michael," Dare whispered. He slid one hand up into Michael's hair, just needing the contact, needing to feel the emotional connection. He prayed that Michael would be okay now, that the guilt Dare had known Michael would be feeling had finally been lanced. Dare's guilt had only compounded with the knowledge that he wouldn't have saved Michael that day, that he only would have gotten him killed, too.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 21:24:25 GMT -5
The guilt wasn't so much lanced as repressed, pushed to the back of his mind in light of other, more important things, such as the dream Dare had had and the fight to understand and be understood. He nuzzled into Dare's neck. It felt good to be in his arms again after even the short conversation that had felt like a fight.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 21:45:40 GMT -5
Dare was emotionally exhausted, from the nightmare and everything after. He didn't want to talk anymore, he only wanted to sit back against the pillows holding and being held by Michael. Part of him wanted the oblivion of a dreamless sleep, but he couldn't sleep right now. He didn't want to close his eyes and see any of the twisted images he knew his mind could produce. He'd be fine just staying like this until morning.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 22:00:01 GMT -5
Michael closed his eyes and pressed a light kiss to Dare's neck. He didn't know if he wanted to fall asleep in Dare's arms or if he wanted to stay awake and enjoy it as much as humanly possible. He sighed softly and tightened his arms briefly. Hopefully Dare would be fine eventually. Michael told himself they could talk in the morning and make it better.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 22:25:51 GMT -5
Dare felt Michael relax against him, and though he was tired, he didn't feel tempted to follow. He didn't spare a thought for going to get the remains of his sleeping draught. It would mean letting go of Michael, and he didn't at all intend on doing that. Dare didn't sleep. He kept himself as close to Michael as possible and worked to focus on that.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Dec 17, 2008 22:41:02 GMT -5
Michael sighed and smiled lightly before settling against Dare again. His dreams weren't very bad, in fact they seemed to have taken his hopes and made them some kind of reality for his mind. He had dreams of when they were safe and away from his father. And when he woke up he slowly opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around Dare again from where their grip had loosened. "You didn't sleep?" he asked softly, though he already knew the answer.
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