Impulse

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael tilted his head, confused at the question, "What do you mean? We just...talk." How else could he explain it? They met up, and they talked, there wasn't any process for how they acted with each other. He didn't think that he and Dare had a problem with talking about things. And even though he knew how unlikely it was that it wouldn't come up again, he still had a hope.

[Kane Garrett]

Kane gave a light shrug. "Some people talk, some people get physical. Usually a combination, but sometimes actions speak louder than words. Sometimes people prefer to rely on that," Kane explained. "If you're comfortable talking with him normally, then talking might work. It could just be a matter of figuring out how to say what needs said so you can be comfortable."

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael's mind went back to what Dare had said about not having to use words to speak, though it hadn't clicked in his mind. They did both, but he wasn't comfortable talking about physical speaking with Kane. "It just seems wrong to go back and tell him it bothered me," he said. Especially when he had said that he was fine and when he remembered how happy Dare had been.

[Kane Garrett]

"Then don't say it like that," Kane suggested. "It would be wrong to pressure yourself into doing it again so you don't hurt him. So maybe you could just tell him what you told me. You liked it, but it didn't feel right. Or maybe just that it was a little fast. Focus on the good, when you're thinking about it, and when you're telling him. It's not a rejection, it's making sure you're comfortable so you can enjoy what you have."

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael didn't know where to go from there, he still felt bad for feeling awkward with the whole thing, but he couldn't honestly tell himself that he was completely fine with what had happened. He rubbed his eyes. "How am I supposed to bring it up?" he asked, looking at Kane for a second before focusing on the desk again. "I mean, unless it comes up..." he knew that he was one that would avoid it like the plague if it was possible.

[Kane Garrett]

"Well, one thing you don't want to do is wait until things are already in motion to talk. It'll be more difficult to do then," Kane said. "Pick a time when you're relaxed, but not intimate. You said you've talked about it before, so you might bring that up. Remember when we said? could be an easy way in. Reaffirm that you care about him, that it wasn't anything anyone did. You don't have to have a reason not to be ready. Does that help at all?" Kane could always say more, but he wanted to be sure he was on the right track with Michael.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael found himself nodding, wishing he could move forward into the future to when it was already over. It clicked that Dare would know instantly that something was bothering him, he wouldn't be able to hide it. It was becoming more apparent that he was going to have to talk about it, whether he wanted to or not. He wondered faintly if Kane knew that practically everything felt intimate when he was with Dare. "I'll try to talk to him," he said, a bit of a lie, but he felt obligated to say it.

[Kane Garrett]

Kane could tell a blowoff answer from a mile away; Michael wasn't fooling anyone. "Your other option is pulling back when it gets to be too much, and taking the chance that it might happen again. No one can make you talk to him, it's all up to you. But it's good advice, Michael." Kane let those words sink in, let the room be quiet a moment before speaking again. "While we're at it, is there anything else that's eating at you?" Most likely, he'd guess, but would Michael talk?

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael shook his head, there wasn't anything else wrong that he could think of. If he looked deep enough, there were plenty of things he could have talked about. He could have brought Emilian into the conversation, or Anna, even his father, Dru, or Emily. There were plenty of things he could have talked about that he had just gotten so used to that he didn't consider them true problems anymore. They were just...there. "Not really."

[Kane Garrett]

And they were back to two-word answers. Kane recognized the dead end, and though he didn't like it, he knew he couldn't push or Michael wouldn't come back. "I'm glad you stopped by," Kane said. "I hope I helped, or at least shed some light. You're always welcome to come back if you think of something else. I'd like to hear how things work out for you." Kane leaned forward again, extending his hand out over the desk.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"Thank you," Michael said, reaching out and taking Kane's hand. He was glad he had stopped, even if he wasn't sure why he had, though he didn't think much on it, his mind was taken with the conversation they had had. He wanted to get it all over with and put to rights, but he was still apprehensive about it. He stood and picked up his bag, pausing before he turned to leave, "Is it wrong not to tell him I talked to you?"

[Kane Garrett]

"Not at all," Kane assured Michael. "It's completely confidential on my end; if you want to keep it the same, it's understandable. Just remember my door's always open, whether you want to talk about what's bothering you, or just the latest quidditch match. I'm looking forward to you stopping by again." Nothing but easy honesty showed in Kane's eyes with those words.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Even though Kane said it wasn't, it still felt wrong to hide it from Dare. But Michael nodded anyway as he settled his bag over his shoulder and turned to leave. He wasn't positive he would go back, but he could see it becoming something that he did regularly, if he needed it. He wanted to go draw and think, and sort it all out with the advice Kane had given him.

[Kane Garrett]

Kane watched the door for a moment after Michael had left, thinking about everything that hadn't been said as much as what had been. He really did hope that Michael would be back. Kane knew that only a fraction of what had been bothering Michael had been brought up today, but there was nothing Kane could do other than wait for Michael's return and give what gentle encouragement he could. Kane let out a heavy breath, then picked up a piece of parchment from the desk, balling it up and tossing it toward the wastebasket, letting the motion help him sort thoughts and clear his mind.