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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 19:11:34 GMT -5
Michael thought for a few long seconds, debating, "I don't think she would be happy with us if we kept it from her." He didn't think Adara would hold it against them, but he knew she would probably not like it if she found out that they hadn't told her everything. The hand on Dare's back travelled up, settling momentarily on his neck as Michael remembered everything that had happened.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 19:25:57 GMT -5
Dare closed his eyes briefly at that touch, at the physical reminder of Michael's hand in just that spot during the long, dazed walk to Emilian's shop. It was comforting, but at the same time, it reminded him of how much more he'd wanted. He opened his eyes again and let himself take in how close they were now, let himself enjoy that closeness. "If it hurts her, though," he suggested, trying to keep to the conversation, refusing to let himself slip into melancholy, though his gaze focused on the path of his fingers through Michael's hair.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 19:38:41 GMT -5
Michael looked away from Dare's eyes, his own falling down to Dare's jaw. "I would rather know if I were in her shoes, no matter if it hurt," he said softly. "But then, that's what I'm used to." He shrugged, he was used to being immersed in the darker sides of things. "Would you want to know?" he asked, bringing his eyes back up to search Dare's.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 19:53:59 GMT -5
Dare's gaze shifted to Michael's at the question, pausing, then dropping as he gave it thought. Wouldn't he want to know? Even if it hurt? He exhaled a light sigh. "I guess I would," he admitted. "I don't know, it just...freaked me out seeing her like that." Her eyes had gone blank, like she wasn't there anymore. Like a corpse. Dare breathed out sharply and shook it off, blinking his eyes to clear the thought away. He knew Michael couldn't have missed it, but couldn't think of anything to say just yet.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 20:08:12 GMT -5
Michael didn't miss it, though he didn't know what was wrong. His hand tightened lightly on Dare's neck as he looked at him with questioning eyes. "What is it?" he asked, letting his fingers move gently on Dare's neck. He tried to connect what they had been talking about to something, but all that he could think was that Dare had had a flashback to what had happened.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 20:15:23 GMT -5
Dare blinked again, trying to form a response without thinking too hard about anything, without looking at it too closely. "Seeing her...like that...she looked like the life had been drained out of her. She looked...dead, in a way." Dare shook his head, his gaze not meeting Michael's. "I don't want to do that to her again." It had been for such a short time, he knew, and she'd...he didn't know how else to think of it, but she'd come back. But even so, he'd found it truly disturbing.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 20:30:05 GMT -5
Michael watched Dare, letting his hand trail up into Dare's hair. He decided to take it at face value instead of pushing for a truer response. "I didn't like how she reacted, either. But..." he trailed off, searching Dare's expression. "If you don't want to tell her, then don't." If she asked Michael, though, he would have to tell her.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 20:38:02 GMT -5
Dare exhaled a sharp breath, then shifted, the arm supporting his weight bending so he could rest his head against it. "I don't want to, but I agree, we ought to. Just..." He shrugged lightly. "I don't know, hold my hand when we do it." His lips curved at the joke, no matter how based in truth it might be. Dare let his gaze slide down Michael's neck a moment, purposefully distracting himself, then letting his eyes flick back up to the motion of his fingers sifting through Michael's deep red hair. He was far too content to let himself be miserable.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 20:54:02 GMT -5
Michael smiled up at him, "We'll see what happens." While he still wasn't too pleased with the idea of activly showing that they were together in front of people, he didn't lie to himself and say that no one had noticed. He also didn't let himself think that he had gotten the entire story but he was determined not to push for anything, things would come out as each of them was ready to tell.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 21:11:43 GMT -5
Dare felt somehow that Michael knew he was holding back, and though his smile didn't yet fade, it didn't shine as brightly in his eyes, either. Dare knew he was holding back, and he felt torn for it. He didn't want to think about things, much less relive them, but Michael had told him so much, and he felt like he'd given so little of himself in return. "You said it gets easier, right?" Dare asked softly. He could remember the words Michael had spoken, that first day here, with the piano and the guitar. Dare squeezed his eyes shut a moment at the memory. It seemed silly, but he wanted to hear the words again, and he knew Michael would say them.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 21:21:34 GMT -5
It took a few moments for Michael to figure out what Dare was talking about, but when he did he wrapped a comforting hand around the forearm that was laying across him and nodded. "Yes," he said, just as softly. His other hand stroked through Dare's hair. "Do you need to talk?" he asked, his eyes tracing over the emotions playing in Dare's face.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 21:28:29 GMT -5
Dare blinked again, his gaze shifting to any place but Michael's eyes. "I don't know," he said honestly. "It's...a lot. But then, maybe it's not, compared to...I know there's worse." He wasn't making any sense, he knew it, but he felt like it shouldn't be as big a deal as it was, even if it was. He knew what Michael had been through, or part of what Michael had been through. He knew there was more; Michael had been a Death Eater for a while, hadn't he? Didn't his own problems pale in comparison? No, his memories whispered.
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 21:40:19 GMT -5
"There's always worse, Dare," Michael said, knowing how truthful it was. No matter what someone had been through, there was always someone that had been through much worse. "But that doesn't mean that what you went through is better...or more desirable. It doesn't mean that you didn't hurt or that you don't deserve to..." he looked away, struggling for a word to relay what he was trying to say. "Feel bad about it," he finished, somewhat lamely, but it was the best he could come up with it. He turned his eyes back up to Dare's face, his eyebrows coming together in concern.
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Post by Dare Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 21:49:45 GMT -5
Dare made a light sound of assent even as he worked to sort through Michael's words, and to accept them. It was difficult, though. Part of what he'd gone through, and still went through, was guilt that he hadn't gone through more. "I don't want to burden you," Dare said, only realizing as he said the words how stupid they sounded. Was what Michael had told him a burden? No. It hurt knowing Michael had been through so much pain, but the relief he knew Michael had felt afterward had made everything worth it. He wanted Michael to share, so why couldn't he bring himself to?
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Post by Michael Blackwood-Hardt on Jul 19, 2008 22:02:14 GMT -5
Michael let a soft smile pull up a corner of his lips and he shook his head as he spoke. "It wouldn't be a burden, you know that." He wanted Dare to talk, but only as long as Dare wanted to. If he said he didn't want to, or if there was a significant change in him, Michael would drop it and change the subject, but he hoped, more than hoped, that he would.
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