It's Been a While

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna felt him tense when she said she'd flirted with other guys and didn't want to feel his reaction when she told him the rest. She pulled away from him, staring at her hands against his chest as she created space between them. Her vision on her hands blurred with tears as she said the hurtful words. "It went to far, it wasn't supposed to go that far. When he kissed me I should have walked away, but I didn't. I should have ended it, and I'm so sorry Michael."

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael's hands rested on Anna's hips and he was silent for a moment, his breath catching. How far had they gone? "You didn't stop?" he asked numbly, not really feeling her beneath his palms. "Anna?" he forced the haze from his eyes and brought a hand up to her chin, pulling her eyes up to meet his, searching. "Who?" he asked, eyes revealing the hurt.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

It tore her up to see the hurt in his eyes. Anna had been going over and over every possible reaction in her mind, but it didn't compare to living it. "I pulled away the first time, but I should have walked away. I let him kiss me again, I just wasn't thinking, I'm so sorry Michael. It doesn't matter who he is, I haven't spoken to him since I left the ballroom." She hoped that she didn't have to say his name, it made the situation seem so much worse.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"Like hell it doesn't matter," he muttered, mostly to himself, he wanted to know who it was. Anger flashed in his eyes, and his next words were out of his mouth before he could think of their effect. "Well now I don't feel so bad about what I did that night," he said, "I was Jack." He knew she would know what he was talking about. His hands fell from her hips. He realized after a heartbeat how his words sounded, but he didn't care, maybe she would hurt like he did, though it was insane logic, it was obvious she hurt already.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna's hands both flew to her gaping mouth. She had no words for the shock she felt. The gay couple hadn't even crossed her mind since she'd left them in the garden. Then the implication of his words hit her. She felt so much hurt at his flippant comment it made her mad and the anger wiped away any unshed tears. He'd cheated on her. He'd cheated on her with a guy. He'd cheated on her with a guy and, "You don't feel so bad? You claim to love me one second and tell me you don't feel bad about kissing a guy the next!? You probably weren't even going to tell me were you!?!?" Her voice rose with each word, until by the end of her rant she was full on yelling.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael felt a sick satisfaction like he hadn't in a long time at her reaction, even if it made his own chest constrict. "If I had known that you would suddenly show up after what, four months? I wouldn't have done it! The second I saw you coming towards me I knew I was going to tell you. It never crossed my mind to not tell you!" His heart was screaming at him to shut up and apologize, to wrap his arms around her again and make her forget. His mind said that they were even, she had hurt him and he had hurt her. He ran an angry hand through his hair. He hadn't exactly planned on telling her like that, but it had happened, and he couldn't take it back.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna failed to hear anything after his first sentence. "I didn't realize I was so forgetable. So how long did it take of not seeing me before you decided I wasn't your girlfriend anymore? I got a little busy with work and school and didn't hunt you down, but you didn't even give me the courtesy of being dumped; just decided I wasn't going to show up as you put it?" She humphed, taking a much needed breath and rubbing her hands in her face.

She knew she was being unreasonable, but she just couldn't believe the words that had come out of his mouth today. She let out another frustrated humph, then spoke in a much calmer voice. "I'm sorry. I think I'm the pot calling the kettle black. How did this all happen?" It was a question that she didn't think had an answer.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"You're not forgettable," Michael said. Even if he was angry he couldn't just let her think that. "I could only play it off to school for so long, Anna. After a while I gave up, honestly. For all I knew you could have been dead!" He gave her another hard look then turned his eyes away from her. "Dare listened," he said, not meeting her eyes. Dare had been the first person he could connect with since he had last seen Anna, the majority of people had gotten on his nerves.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

"I wish you'd just have come asked me." She sighed, sick of fighting. She never liked loosing her temper, and always ended up giving in just to end an arguement. She put her hand on his cheek, needing to know just one more thing, "So is he your..." She swalled, unable to get out the word, "instead of me?" She hated the thought of giving him up, but he'd long given up on her. Anna just needed to know if there was any hope left in the world for her.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael shook his head, "No, that was only the second time we'd....been together," he said, looking down at her. It had been their third meeting, but there had been no kissing during their first meeting. "We're just experimenting," he assured her. But at the words he wasn't sure if he wanted to give up Dare just yet. On the other hand it seemed blasphemous to even think about leaving Anna for Dare. He wondered if she'd even want him back, it wasn't as though she hadn't seen the warm looks he and Dare had shared, she had heard the words they had spoken that night.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna let her hand slowly drop from his face. She didn't have a clue what that meant, or where that left them. She sucked in her lower lip, chewing on it out of habit. She closed her eyes and tilted her head heavenly, as if searching for some sort of answer. Her chin quivered slightly as she fought to hold her emotions in. For the second time, she wished she could travel back and change how things happened. She didn't like the way Michael used the present tense describing his new 'experiment' and knew that she could never be happy sharing him with another guy.

It took several moments for Anna to build up enough courage to softly whisper, "Will you let me know if you ever finish?" She couldn't lie to herself and pretend like she didn't still love him. As much as she hated it, she knew that if he came crawling back later she would have a hard time denying him access to her heart again. Refusing to open her eyes, she ignored a tear that was sliding down her cheek.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael brought up a hand and wiped away the tear from her cheek, examining her face as he thought. The thought of not being with Dare again made his chest hurt, and the idea of losing Anna again, of pushing her away, felt so very wrong. It didn't hurt as bad, but he thought that it would hurt worse in the long run to push Anna away, it had to, he just wanted to be with Dare because he was new. But when he opened his mouth to tell her that he wouldn't see Dare again, his throat closed up and wouldn't let him speak the words.

He looked away from her, his eyebrows coming together, not wanting her to see the indecision in his eyes, he wasn't brave enough to hurt either one of them. If he was having such a hard time with the decision, did that mean he didn't feel as strongly for Anna as he had thought? Perhaps they had just settled into the-no, he knew that wasn't true, what he felt was real. He remained silent, the mass of thoughts in his head too much to sort through.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna took his lack of response as a no. It was plain to see now that he'd already dismissed their relationship and she was just making a fool of herself by begging. She turned away from him, wiping the fresh tears away. "I'll just go." She said, humiliated with herself. Earlier she'd thought she'd be asking him to forgive her, but instead she was just rejected. She started to walk away and muttered to herself "I'm such a pathetic idiot."

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"Anna...." Michael said, taking a few long steps towards her and taking her shoulders. He wanted to be able to tell her that he would be with her, but something held him back. "You're not an idiot..." He was trying to comfort her, trying to think of the right words to say when his own mind was so warped and muddled that he could barely think straight enough to stand. "I just....I don't know, Anna!" he said, the confusion showing in his eyes.

"I love you, and I hate seeing you hurt. But Dare...." He did still love her, didn't he? He thought for a second, yes he did, he had thought for a moment that perhaps it was just that he was so used to thinking he was in love with her. But when he sat back for that brief second he knew he still loved her, even if that love had changed.

[Annabelle Hennessy]

Anna hated what she saw in his eyes. She would have rather been fully rejected than see how confused and lost he really was. She reached up and grabbed each of his hands in one of hers and brought them between their bodies. She took a breath, opened her mouth, and forced herself to continue. "Michael, you and I..." She trailed off, starting over. "Its too much. Maybe things will change later, I don't know. I love you, and don't want to loose you, but I think I already have." She sniffed, trying not to cry anymore. She squeezed his hands before letting go. "I think this is goodbye for now."