Behind The Mask ~Jacob~

[Kadie Taylor]

Once again, Kadie could be found down by the lake around midnight. Her routine had quickly become predictable. Everything else about her, was very unpredictable. Guys stayed away from her because of that unpredictability. Who knew what she would do to them if they tried to get too close?

People around here said that her heart was made of pure ice, and that she didn't care about anyone or anything. That was simply not true. She cared way too much, but she hid that fact behind the mask of the Snow Queen. It was just a lot easier that way.

There were those who felt sorry for her because of Kevin. She hated their pity. She also hated those who would never understand, which was pretty much everyone. Maybe that was why it was so easy to be the Snow Queen, because she really despised them all for being so happy when she clearly wasn't.

Kevin had been so loved and adored around here. There had been a time when Kadie had been as well, but now that was gone. Gone because she made it be that way. She couldn't be the person she was before Kevin's death. She'd gone through a lot and grown up because of it. She couldn't be the giddy, flirty immature girl she once had been because she'd seen too much and lived through it.

She sighed as she stared out across the lake, a silent figure, unmoving. She didn't have a bottle of fire whiskey tonight. She simply stood quietly, not doing or saying anything other then looking out across the lake.

[Jacob Cullen]

Jacob was so depressed lately. Why had Cassie rejected him? Wasn't he good enough for her? Obviously not, or they would be together right now. Instead she was crushing on a much older man, a relationship that Jacob was sure wouldn't last all that long. As Jacob walked across the lawns, bathed in the midnight moon, he turned towards the lake, not really thinking about where he was going, just wanting to be alone, with his suicidal thoughts. Unfortunately for him, this was not going to happen, for as soon as he reached the lake, he saw a girl already standing there. Jacob sighed, and stood a little ways away from the girl, wondering if he should stay. He sighed again, and gave up, sitting down in the grass, and staring out across the lake, ignoring the girl completely, which was a very difficult thing to do as she was obviously beautiful. Jacob blushed a little as his mind wandered in this direction, but he continued to stare out into the lake.

[Kadie Taylor]

Kadie felt like she wasn't alone, and turned around raising her wand a bit. She lowered it as the guy sat down. She was sure that she'd seen him around before. But she couldn't quite place where she knew him from. He was attractive, if Kadie allowed herself to think those thoughts. But, she didn't.

This was going to bother her though. She swore that she knew him. It would surprise her to know just how she knew him. Cassie was after all, her best friend. But it had gotten to the point where Kadie didn't pay much attention to Cassie's relationships. Not that she didn't care, cause she did. But she just hated males in general, so she didn't understand Cassie's obsession with them. Crazy. Because once she'd been just like Cassie. Well...........not just like, but very similar. She'd once been like Cassie was around guys. But she couldn't be like that anymore.

"What are you doing out here?" she finally asked. It came out a lot more harsh then she intended, but she didn't really care much. There was something about him that just made her slightly...........uneasy. Maybe it was because she was aware that he was attractive. Even if he did look younger.

[Jacob Cullen]

Jacob knew he shouldn't be surprised that the girl was talking to him.............actually he should be very surprised......Beautiful girls just didn't talk to him, that was just how he felt now since the whole disaster with Cassie. He just couldn't help but feel just a little elated though that she had thought of him enough to actually open her mouth and speak to him. Jacob smiled a little, and looked over at the girl, still standing there as if she was going to attack him, or maybe she was going to flee, as if he was some sort of unwanted disease. Jacob's smile disappeared as he looked at the girl. She really was beautiful, and in Jacob's world that only meant one thing............"I.........I..........cou.........could aaaask you.........the.......the.........same.........th.......thin............thing........."Jacob cursed himself silently as he began his stuttering. It was always the same. Jacob just hadn't learned how to control his nerves. "I........I........" Jacob took a deep breath, and grit his teeth. "I love the night........don..........dont you? It is so peaceful and ca.......calm.........No eyes to judg.........judge you in........the night." Jacob smiled a little again. "Would you like........to sit.........down? I promise........not to........bite." Jacob knew that until he knew and grew comfortable around the girl that his stuttering was going to be an issue. He just hoped that she wouldn't flee from him like he was some sort of freak.

[Kadie Taylor]

Kadie was used to guys acting nervous around her because she was the Snow Queen. She intimidated guys to no end. So, she simply assumed that he knew that she was the Snow Queen, and that's why he was stuttering. She simply left it at that and didn't think too much about it. She did agree though that no eyes were out here to judge her. That was exactly why she came out here every night. Why not when she had insomnia so she couldn't sleep? I mean, what else was there to do? Well, she supposed homework, but whatever.

She smirked as he promised not to bite. Okay, so maybe he didn't know who she was.

"You promise not to bite, but I can't make any promises. I am after all, the Snow Queen," she said sitting down, then looking at his face to judge his reaction. Usually guys freaked out when they found out that she was the really talked about Snow Queen. And it was bad, but she really loved to see those reactions. Why she was sitting down and joining him? Well, she wasn't exactly sure. But it couldn't hurt to talk to the dude for a few minutes at least.

[Jacob Cullen]

Jacob smiled as the Girl told him who she was. It made him relaxed, and he looked at her with soft eyes. "The Snow Queen huh? Well your Majesty, it is an honor to be in your presence." Jacob stood up, and gave the girl a little bow before sitting back down. "I am Jacob, a lowly peasant who is blinded by your subtle beauty." Jacob flushed, and looked at himself with bewildered eyes.........in his mind. Did he really just say that? What was he thinking? Well that was just the point.......he really wasn't thinking. Ever since Cassie, Jacob had just been wandering around like a zombie not thinking or caring about anything. What was a little more pain to him? Jacob shook his head and smiled. "I don't think your a Snow Queen, not at all...........I mean you did sit with me, you could have easily just walked away, but you didn't. I don't think a Snow Queen would have done that." Jacob smiled, and stretched his arms over his head. "So do you have another name you highness, or do I just need to keep referring to you as royalty?"

[Kadie Taylor]

Kadie was extremely surprised when his reaction was not at all what he expected. Instead of being scared off after learning that she was the Snow Queen, it seemed to relax him! Wow. She wasn't used to that at all. Guys around here generally knew that she wasn't one to mess with. But him? Well, he didn't seem to be scared of her at all. And it slightly intrigued her.

She surprised herself even more when she started laughing as he got up and bowed. She stopped laughing though after realizing that she hadn't laughed that hard since Kev had been alive and it just felt weird. Oh, she had laughed before, but they'd all been fake. She hadn't laughed sincerely since Kevin had last made her laugh. She quirked her eyebrows at his next comments.

"Well, I wasn't the one who came up with my nickname. But I do agree with the guys who came up with it. I am the Snow Queen. Heart of pure ice. And maybe I just sat with you cause I was bored," she said, her eyes teasing a bit.

"I'm Kadie, and you are?" she asked.

[Jacob Cullen]

Jacob was extremely happy with himself as the girl started laughing at his bow. Maybe there was hope for him afterall..........Maybe life really would go on. Jacob chuckled a little, and raised his eyebrows, tilting his head a little to the side. "Well, I think those guys were A: A bunch of wimps, or B: They didn't know you at all. I don't see a trace of who they say you are right now. All I see is a very interesting, very beautiful person who I would like to get to know more." WOW! Jacob had never, ever said anything like that before in his life, not even to Cassie. Maybe some good had come out of the situation, maybe it had made him more bold, more immune to pain. Jacob liked who he was right now. He smiled again. "Well, if you are bored Kadie, which by the way is a very pretty name, how can I entertain you your Highness. Your wish is my command." Jacob got up again, and gave another little bow, his eyes twinkling a little as he waited.

[Kadie Taylor]

She felt uneasy, more then a little bit as she realized that he seemed to know that her being the Snow Queen was just a mask. She felt even more uneasy when he called her interesting and beautiful and that he'd like to get to know her better. It was an uneasy feeling for her not just because of the fact that she never let anyone get to know her very well, but because she had liked his compliments and found herself wanting to get to know him too. Big huge no no. Letting people in always equaled pain.

"Nah, the guys had it right. They were the guys I pushed into the lake or hexed. So you see, I have my nickname with good reason. You only caught me in a good mood," she said smiling slightly at him.

A quirk of her eyebrows followed by another laugh escaping her lips as he got up and bowed again once again, surprised her. She picked up some grass and threw it playfully in his direction.

"You've got to be the craziest guy I have ever met," she commented, still laughing a little.

"Just tell me more about yourself," she invited with a shrug.

[Jacob Cullen]

Jacob smiled at Kadie. Even though she acted tough, and like she didn't care, Jacob could tell that it was all just a mask, and that she was more interested than she would ever let him know. This was just fine with Jacob. He was a very patient man, and he had alot of time on his hands. "Well, if you hexed them, I am sure they gave you a good reason to do it. I don't see you doing anything out of spite." Jacob smiled as Kadie laughed, and threw the grass at him. "Actually I have never acted like this before." Jacob said as he sat back down in the grass. "If you want to know more about me, I guess that is as good as a place to start than any. I.....don't normally act this way around girls like you. I get to nervous around them, and I stutter, which you have already seen, but I don't know........something about you is just...........just calming, and is just making me relaxed." Jacob smiled, and looked into Kadie's eyes. He tilted his head, a sly little smile playing on his lips. "You have beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you that before?"

[Kadie Taylor]

She laughed as she agreed with his words.

"Yeah with good reason. They got a little too fresh. But, the stupid males around here all know that I don't do relationships. But, they've all got bets to see which one will melt my icy heart," she said with a laugh as she shook her head.

"They just don't seem to get that it's not happening," she said softly.

As he talked to her about himself, she smiled ocassionally and quirked her eyebrows as he said that she was calming. Other guys would beg to disagree.

"Yeah well, you just haven't seen my Irish temper yet. I'm quite the fireball. Not calming at all when I get like that," she said with a laugh. As he complimented her eyes she looked away. It wasn't like guys had tried that tactic before. But for some reason, when this guy said it, butterflies erupted and she wanted to hit herself for it. All of a sudden, she knew that she shouldn't stay here much longer. But she found that she couldn't move.

"So, I still haven't gotten a name. What year and house are you in?" she asked, interested.

[Jacob Cullen]

Jacob smiled, and kept his eyes on hers. "Well, I won't try and do anything like that........unless you want me too." Jacob smiled a sly little smile at Kadie, and chuckled a little at her next comments. "Irish temper huh? I am sure you are even more sexy than you are now when your angry. I would sure like to see that." As she looked away from him, looking a little embarrassed about his compliment about her eyes, Jacob reached out, and tilted her head back to him. "Please don't do that, and please don't feel nervous or embarrassed around me. That is my trademark, remember? Your supposed to be the un-feeling Snow Queen, right?" Jacob smiled, and dropped his hand from her face. " I'm Jacob, Jacob Cullen, Fourth Year Ravenclaw, and before you ask, no I am not wise, or clever or anything, I just asked the hat to be put in that house. Figure if I am around smart people all day, maybe it will rub itself off on me a little. You know?" Jacob smiled, and sat back in the grass. "So how about you? What year and house are you?"

[Kadie Taylor]

She rolled her eyes at his words.

"Unfortunately, other guys seem to agree with you that my fiery temper is sexy. It seems to turn a few of them on even more. Maybe I shouldn't get so angry. I should become boring and they'd leave me alone," she said with a smile. As he reached out and touched her, tilting her head back into his direction, some more butterflies erupted and she should have wanted to lash out, make it so he couldn't touch her ever again.

Jacob Cullen. So this was the Jacob Cullen. Another one of Cassie's victims. No wonder she'd seen him around before. 4th year? How the h*ll was a 4th year making her feel this way? She'd been 14 too. 14 was the age when everything wrong happened to her. That was the age she met Justin. It seemed like she'd gone through a lifetime since then. So she felt so much older then 16. Funny, Jacob seemed older than 14 to her too. But maybe if she kept reminding herself that he was just 14, she wouldn't feel the way she did.

"I'm in 6th year. I'm in Gryffindor," she responded.

"So Jacob Cullen huh? I have heard the name before. Though from the lips of a name you probably don't want to hear right now considering that you're one of her victims. As much as I love her," she said softly.

"Cassie's my best friend," she went on to explain in case he hadn't understood her previous comments. She realized that she probably shouldn't have said anything, but she wasn't exactly the best at biting her tongue.

[Jacob Cullen]

Jacob smiled, and tilted his head. "I got some bad news for you then hun. I would find you interesting even if all the nerves in your body were cut and you never felt anything again." As Kadie told him her age, he smiled. What was it with him and older women? Wasn't a man supposed to go for someone younger? Guess he wasn't any normal man, younger girls were just to immature for him. Jacob had always felt more mature than his age indicated, and so older girls were definately for him. It seemed to Jacob that everything was going well between him and Kadie, until she dropped the bombshell. Jacob wasn't going to let it get to him though. He was over Cassie, he was over her. "Cassie is your best friend huh? What does that have to do with you? Were you hoping that it would make me like you less, make me less interested? Who you affiliate with has nothing to do with who you are, and despite your best efforts hun, who you are interests me, and makes me want to get to know you. Yes, me and Cassie had a thing, and she broke my heart, but I am over it. I need to move on with my life, and I would like for you to be apart of it." Jacob smiled, and his eyes twinkled.

[Kadie Taylor]

At his words her breathing became rather raggad. Why had she allowed herself to stay longer then she had? Clearly he was on the rebound from Cassie, just looking for anything in a skirt to get him to forget about her, in spite of what he'd just said. And, Kadie was the Snow Queen. She never let anyone in. Yup, definantley time to go. She got angry when he said that he'd like her to be apart of his life. Why? Because he was making her feel things that she had no desire to feel. It was easier to feel nothing.

"You're 14. You don't know what the h*ll you want. I was 14 once too, and I went through h*ll and back because I tried to grow up too fast and I thought I knew what I wanted when I clearly didn't. Here's some advice. Be 14, don't try to grow up too fast. Date girls your own age who don't have baggage and issues," she said angrily, that Irish temper of hers coming out a little. And in spite of what she told herself, that temper of hers was partly flaring because she truly believed that he was simply on the rebound.

She got up and started walking away, almost running, trying to put as much distance between her and Jacob as possible, just not wanting to feel at all. Simply too scared to start feeling when she'd been entirely too numb for too long.