Relaxation (open)

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"Yeah, I'll do that every now and again. Usually it's just a lot of trying to get the person out of my head," Michael looked away, too. "It's like, I want to ignore it, but I can't, so I draw it instead." He always wanted it to get out of his mind, but sometimes he couldn't make it leave. It was almost as if every time he drew he left a little bit of it behind on the page.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare looked back at Michael, leaving his drawing alone again for now. "See, I think for me it's like...it's too much if I can't just let go. I get it out, and I go on, or I drive myself insane thinking about it. Yeah, I'll draw what I'm thinking about, but there's so much going on I can just pick something, or I can put them together and take them on at one time. I'm not making any sense, am I?" He wasn't sure he understood himself right now.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael shrugged, "Some. I can pretty much drive myself insane, because it's hard for me to let things go unless something else replaces it." He tugged at his sleeve, holding the end in his fist, and looked down at his hands. It was rare that something wasn't bothering him, and when it wasn't a person, it went back to the default of his past.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare's gaze followed Michael's down, settling on hands that were as expressive as his face. That one picture, fingers clenched in cloth, said so much, and Dare wondered if Michael was even aware of it. He knew what that sleeve covered; was it a constant worry, or a ghost that followed him around in the shadows? "Some things can't be replaced, no matter how many times you draw it," Dare said, the words so broad they could have meant anything.Maybe he'd been referring to Michael's past, but more likely he was bringing himself back to the present.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

Michael looked up, "Yeah, those are the hardest." He still wondered at the connection between the drawing and Dare's mom, Dare must have been close to her. "Eventually you move on, though. All that crap they feed us about time heals all wounds." He shrugged, messing with the edge of his sleeve.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

"True, that," Dare said, not that he knew. A month wasn't long enough by any means, was it? "Do you ever really move on, though?" he asked, his head lowering again, bringing his hair down. He brought his gaze to his own hands, resting immobile in his lap. He couldn't really imagine getting over it, moving on.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"Yeah," Michael said softly, his eyes sliding over to Dare's hands. "You move on, but you don't forget. And sometimes it still hurts, but you move on." Michael hadn't lost a parent, but he had lost someone very close to him. He threaded his fingers together, the urge to touch Dare's starting to come over him again.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare nodded, but what else was there to say? Thank God I won't forget? I'll kinda miss that pain when it fades? "So who was it for you?" he asked, letting the question hover in the air for a moment. "I mean, you don't have to tell me." No, but he wanted Michael to tell him. It just felt like he should tack the disclaimer on, since Michael had.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"It's fine." Michael took a breath and looked back at his hands. "Her name was Emily, aurors' daughter. They kidnapped her, dad told me if I joined they'd let her go, well," his eyes went up to his forearm. "He lied. Or maybe he believed it, I don't know." It was doubtful, though, not with the conversation he had had with his father after the fact.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

Dare raised his head to look back at Michael. "They had to blackmail you into joining?" It sounded like they were either desperate or idiots to hold someone like that. Had they really thought he wouldn't defect sooner or later? "Were you close?" he added softly. His eyes searched Michael's as best he could with Michael's gaze lowered, wondering.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"Well I can't say I didn't have the same beliefs or anything, it was just the last little push," he said in response to being blackmailed. "But yeah, we were. Girls just seem to bring trouble for me," he tried a grin, but failed. Perhaps it was a sign, he thought to himself, saying that he wasn't supposed to be with a girl. It was an awkward thought.

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

"So...what, you were really into all that stuff? Purism and the Wizarding Race and everything?" He hoped his use of the past tense was right; Michae had used it, after all. Still, it was strange thinking that a guy so nice had willingly followed. He'd assumed based on Michael's defection that he'd never really been into it, that he'd rebelled against it from the beginning.

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"In a way, I mean, if you've been raised to believe that kind of stuff, you know?" Michael turned his gaze up to Dare, hoping he'd understand. "I always kind of hated it, but it was all I knew to do, I felt like I had to, didn't have much choice, so I just learned to like it, always had the sadistic streak."

[Dare Blackwood-Hardt]

"Wow. I mean, it makes sense, it's just a lot to think about. I never really understood that stuff, but like you said, I was raised being told it was a load of crap, so it didn't ever make sense to me. I'm half-blood," he explained. "Dad is from one of the old families somewhere in Britain. They wrote him off when he married Mom. I don't think he even cared until she died." Dare looked down, his gaze stopping at Michael's hands rather than his own. "Then he went all something's missing on us and came back. I guess he figured me and Silver can take care of ourselves."

[Michael Blackwood-Hardt]

"You're strong, he probably should have waited a little while though, I mean, that's a lot to deal with all at once." Surely the guy could have waited at least a couple of weeks before uprooting them. "So you don't think I'm a creep or anything?" he asked, the corner of his lips turning up just the smallest amount.